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the ponytailed poserJokes, funny stories and general humor
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Elvis Super Member
Joined: Jul 27, 2008 Posts: 9261 Location: south island New Zealand
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Posted: Tue Oct 08, 2019 9:52 pm Post subject: Re: Liar |
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talking about liars....
_________________ You shot it You pluck it !
Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers! |
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Elvis Super Member
Joined: Jul 27, 2008 Posts: 9261 Location: south island New Zealand
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Posted: Wed Oct 09, 2019 10:28 pm Post subject: Re: Liar |
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and another
_________________ You shot it You pluck it !
Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers! |
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pete4d Super Member
Joined: Nov 27, 2011 Posts: 957 Location: Dixie , Alabama , & Louisiana
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Posted: Thu Oct 10, 2019 1:20 am Post subject: Re: the ponytailed poser |
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_________________ "march to the sound of the guns and shoot everyone not dressed like you"--D I 1968
When the SHTF I'm gonna hunker down until all those idiots kill each other. up-date
The secret to enjoying life is to never take it too seriously, as you will never make it out alive!
I'm on the watch list are you ? |
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gelandangan Super Member
Joined: May 07, 2006 Posts: 6401 Location: Sydney Australia
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Posted: Thu Oct 10, 2019 2:54 pm Post subject: Re: the ponytailed poser |
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All I can say to her is :
You swine. You vulgar little maggot. You worthless bag of filth. As they say in Texas. I'll bet you couldn't pour piss out of a boot with instructions on the heel. You are a canker. A sore that won't go away. I would rather kiss a lawyer than be seen with you.
You're a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a cad, a weasel. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon.
You are a bleating foal, a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared richly with the effluvia and offal accompanying your alleged birth into this world. An insensate, blinking calf, meaningful to nobody, abandoned by the puke-drooling, giggling beasts who sired you and then killed themselves in recognition of what they had done.
I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformed puke. I barf at the very thought of you. You have all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid you. You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are a weed, a fungus, the dregs of this earth. And did I mention you smell?
You snail-skulled little rabbit. Would that a hawk pick you up, drive its beak into your brain, and upon finding it rancid set you loose to fly briefly before spattering the ocean rocks with the frothy pink shame of your ignoble blood. May you choke on the queasy, convulsing nausea of your own trite, foolish beliefs.
You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy, squalid, nasty and profane. You are foul and disgusting. You're a fool, an ignoramus. Monkeys look down on you. Even sheep won't have sex with you. You are unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that reality forgot.
And what meaning do you expect your delusional self-important statements of unknowing, inexperienced opinion to have with us? What fantasy do you hold that you would believe that your tiny-fisted tantrums would have more weight than that of a leprous desert rat, spinning rabidly in a circle, waiting for the bite of the snake?
You are a waste of flesh. You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and obnoxious. You are the moral equivalent of a leech. You are a living emptiness, a meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are a disease, you puerile one-handed slack-jawed drooling meat slapper.
On a good day you're a half-wit. You remind me of drool. You are deficient in all that lends character. You have the personality of wallpaper. You are dank and filthy. You are asinine and benighted. You are the source of all unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go.
You smarmy lagerlout git. You bloody woofter sod. Bugger off, pillock. You grotty wanking oik artless base-court apple-john. You clouted boggish foot-licking twit. You dankish clack-dish plonker. You gormless crook-pated tosser. You churlish boil-brained clotpole ponce. You cockered bum-bailey poofter. You craven dewberry pisshead cockup pratting naff. You gob-kissing gleeking flap-mouthed coxcomb. You dread-bolted fobbing beef-witted clapper-clawed flirt-gill.
You are a fiend and a coward, and you have bad breath. You are degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise everything about you, and I wish you would go away.
I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid.
Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid so stupid that it goes way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. You are trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed on itself so far that even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid gotten so dense that no intellect can escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing hot mid-day sun on Mercury stupid. You emit more stupid in one second than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid. Your writing has to be a troll.
Nothing in our universe can really be this stupid. Perhaps this is some primordial fragment from the original big bang of stupid. Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know. I'm sorry. I can't go on. This is an epiphany of stupid for me. After this, you may not hear from me again for a while. I don't have enough strength left to deride your ignorant questions and half baked comments about unimportant trivia, or any of the rest of this drivel. Duh.
The only thing worse than your logic is your manners. I have snipped away most of your of the shit you wrote, because, well... it didn't really say anything. Your attempt at constructing a creative flame was pitiful. I mean, really, stringing together a bunch of insults among a load of babbling was hardly effective... Maybe later in life, after you have learned to read, write, spell, and count, you will have more success. True, these are rudimentary skills that many of us "normal" people take for granted that everyone has an easy time of mastering. But we sometimes forget that there are "challenged" persons in this world who find these things more difficult. If I had known, that this was your case then I would have never read your post. It just wouldn't have been "right". Sort of like parking in a handicap space. I wish you the best of luck in the emotional, and social struggles that seem to be placing such a demand on you.
_________________ A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.
Do - Not try!
gelandangan.weebly.com/ |
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Vince Site Admin
Joined: May 25, 2005 Posts: 15725 Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA
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Posted: Thu Oct 10, 2019 4:31 pm Post subject: Re: the ponytailed poser |
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_________________ Cheers, Vince
Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)
Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.
"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done) |
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Elvis Super Member
Joined: Jul 27, 2008 Posts: 9261 Location: south island New Zealand
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Posted: Thu Oct 10, 2019 8:32 pm Post subject: Re: the ponytailed poser |
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well said Gelan...well said indeed.
_________________ You shot it You pluck it !
Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers! |
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Pumpkinslinger Super Member
Joined: Sep 22, 2007 Posts: 5002 Location: NC foothills
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Posted: Thu Oct 10, 2019 9:03 pm Post subject: Re: the ponytailed poser |
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I did notice that, as she reads her speech, her face relaxes when she goes to look for the next line. Then she "gets angry" again to deliver it.
_________________ Mike
"I ain't no better than anybody else, and there ain't nobody better than me!" Ma Kettle |
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Aloysius Super Member
Joined: Nov 03, 2009 Posts: 2440 Location: B., Belgium
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Posted: Fri Oct 11, 2019 1:32 am Post subject: Re: the ponytailed poser |
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Do you remember what I said about what happens when you get a heavy weight moving...
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pete4d Super Member
Joined: Nov 27, 2011 Posts: 957 Location: Dixie , Alabama , & Louisiana
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Bushmaster Super Member
Joined: Jun 12, 2005 Posts: 11395 Location: Ava, Missouri
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Posted: Fri Oct 11, 2019 7:47 am Post subject: Re: the ponytailed poser |
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Aah...I get the feeling that you don't agree with her, Gelandangan.
_________________ I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...
DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote... |
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inthedark Super Member
Joined: Jan 31, 2011 Posts: 917 Location: Ontario
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Posted: Fri Dec 20, 2019 9:57 am Post subject: Re: the ponytailed poser |
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_________________ Chimo
Ron
War is sweet to those who have no experience of it, but the experienced man trembles exceedingly at heart on its approach - Pindar 518-438 BC
Be Copy now of Men of Grosser Blood and TEACH THEM HOW TO WAR |
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DannoBoone Member
Joined: Sep 16, 2007 Posts: 58 Location: NE Iowa
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Posted: Fri Dec 27, 2019 1:46 pm Post subject: Re: the ponytailed poser |
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_________________ The eagle wings were torn away from the lion,
and seen no more. |
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dhc4ever Super Member
Joined: May 26, 2011 Posts: 2944 Location: Ipswich, Queensland Australia
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Posted: Fri Dec 27, 2019 5:11 pm Post subject: Re: the ponytailed poser |
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Well Danno,
It would be a hilarious joke
If it wasnt true......
_________________ Pete
Dont do anything you wont like explaining to the paramedics.............. |
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