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WHY...
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Vince
Site Admin
Site Admin


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 15721
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Tue May 01, 2018 7:55 pm    Post subject: WHY... Reply with quote

WHY?.... Scratch Scratch Scratch

• Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
• Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin?
• Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
• Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
• Why is a boxing ring square?
• Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?
• Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
• Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
• Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?
• Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
• Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavour, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
• Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
• Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand?
• Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
• Why is the word dictionary in the dictionary?
• Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?
• Why isn't there mouse-flavoured cat food?
• You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes? Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
• Can a stupid person be a smart-ass?
• Can fat people go skinny-dipping?

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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slimjim
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 16, 2009
Posts: 8316
Location: Fort Worth TX

PostPosted: Tue May 01, 2018 10:02 pm    Post subject: Re: WHY... Reply with quote

why do we park our cars in the driveway and drive them on the parkway?

_________________
"To anger a conservative, lie to him. To anger a liberal, tell him the truth." - Theodore Roosevelt

"The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it." - Albert Einstein
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Vince
Site Admin
Site Admin


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 15721
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Wed May 02, 2018 1:37 am    Post subject: Re: WHY... Reply with quote

slimjim wrote:
why do we park our cars in the driveway and drive them on the parkway?

A damn fine question mate...

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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Bushmaster
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 11394
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Wed May 02, 2018 9:11 am    Post subject: Re: WHY... Reply with quote

Too much time spent thinking.

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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Elvis
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jul 27, 2008
Posts: 9259
Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Wed May 02, 2018 10:23 pm    Post subject: Re: WHY... Reply with quote

why is it women who rode sidesaddle.....

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You shot it You pluck it !
Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers!
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Bushmaster
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 11394
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Thu May 03, 2018 7:37 am    Post subject: Re: WHY... Reply with quote

Ya wanna finish that, Elvis?

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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dhc4ever
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 26, 2011
Posts: 2944
Location: Ipswich, Queensland Australia

PostPosted: Thu May 03, 2018 12:34 pm    Post subject: Re: WHY... Reply with quote

Please do

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Pete

Dont do anything you wont like explaining to the paramedics..............
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Elvis
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jul 27, 2008
Posts: 9259
Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Thu May 03, 2018 1:56 pm    Post subject: Re: WHY... Reply with quote

well if you think about it...when horse does a "pigjump" and your butt lifts up then back down...us fellas have two egg shaped objects that hurt like blazes when they get squashed/bashed or generally impacted....if fella was sitting sidesaddle instead of spreadlegged it would be our (in some cases) ample butts that would land and the precious cargo would still be safely tucked away.......

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You shot it You pluck it !
Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers!
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Loke
Member
Member


Joined: May 13, 2013
Posts: 207

PostPosted: Thu May 03, 2018 4:12 pm    Post subject: Re: WHY... Reply with quote

Are some of those with the most education such dumbasses?

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Life is too short to carry an ugly gun.
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gelandangan
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 07, 2006
Posts: 6400
Location: Sydney Australia

PostPosted: Thu May 03, 2018 4:41 pm    Post subject: Re: WHY... Reply with quote

Y-not?

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A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.

Do - Not try!


gelandangan.weebly.com/
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pete4d
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Nov 27, 2011
Posts: 957
Location: Dixie , Alabama , & Louisiana

PostPosted: Sat May 05, 2018 8:24 pm    Post subject: Re: WHY... Reply with quote

Can fat people go skinny-dipping?

Only be one answer , Yep do it all the time ,but neighbors and people passing by on the road blowing their horns " put some clothes on"

_________________
"march to the sound of the guns and shoot everyone not dressed like you"--D I 1968

When the SHTF I'm gonna hunker down until all those idiots kill each other. up-date

The secret to enjoying life is to never take it too seriously, as you will never make it out alive!

I'm on the watch list are you ?
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