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Love Making Tips For Seniors
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Vince
Site Admin
Site Admin


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 15721
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA
PostPosted: Mon Jun 20, 2011 1:10 am    Post subject: Love Making Tips For Seniors Reply with quote
Love Making Tips For Seniors

1. Wear your glasses to make sure your partner is actually in the bed.

2. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle.

3. Set the mood with lighting. (Turn them ALL OFF!)

4. Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin.

5. Write partner's name on your hand in case you can't remember.

6. Use extra Polygrip so your teeth don't end up under the bed.

7. Have Nurofen ready in case you actually complete the act...

8. Make all the noise you want...the neighbours are deaf too.

9. If it works, call everyone you know with the good news!!!

10. Don't even think about trying it twice.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
Your sweetie says, 'Let's go upstairs and make love,' and you answer, 'Pick one; I can't do both!'

'OLD' IS WHEN...
Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
'Getting a little action' means you don't need to take any fibre today.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
'Getting lucky' means you find your car in the car park.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
An 'all nighter' means not getting up to use the toilet...AND,

'OLD' IS WHEN...
You are not sure if these are facts or jokes?

(I posted this in large type so you can read it)

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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Elvis
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jul 27, 2008
Posts: 9258
Location: south island New Zealand
PostPosted: Mon Jun 20, 2011 1:26 am    Post subject: Re: Love Making Tips For Seniors Reply with quote
thanks for the large type Vinc you are so considerate.
Ill be sure to look these up when I become a senior (if I can remember where the hang they were)

_________________
You shot it You pluck it !
Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers!
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Ominivision1
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Sep 20, 2010
Posts: 2984
Location: Iowa
PostPosted: Mon Jun 20, 2011 5:18 am    Post subject: Re: Love Making Tips For Seniors Reply with quote
Vince wrote:
'OLD' IS WHEN...
Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face. Cheers, Vince

And thats when the fight started. Very Happy Very Happy

_________________
Regards

Limitations are but boundaries created inside our minds.
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