HuntingNut
HuntingNut
   Login or Register
HomeCommunity ForumsPhoto AlbumsRegister
     
 

User Info

Welcome Anonymous


Membership:
Latest: linkresources
New Today: 2
New Yesterday: 0
Overall: 12869

People Online:
Members: 0
Visitors: 115
BOT: 2
Total: 117
Who Is Where:
 Visitors:
01: Home
02: Forums
03: Forums
04: Forums
05: Forums
06: Photo Albums
07: Home
08: Forums
09: Forums
10: Forums
11: Forums
12: Home
13: Forums
14: Forums
15: Home
16: Photo Albums
17: Forums
18: Home
19: Forums
20: Photo Albums
21: Forums
22: Home
23: Forums
24: Forums
25: Photo Albums
26: Forums
27: Forums
28: Home
29: Forums
30: Photo Albums
31: Forums
32: Photo Albums
33: Forums
34: Forums
35: Photo Albums
36: Forums
37: Photo Albums
38: Forums
39: Photo Albums
40: Your Account
41: Forums
42: Home
43: Home
44: Forums
45: Photo Albums
46: Forums
47: Forums
48: Photo Albums
49: Forums
50: Forums
51: Home
52: Forums
53: Forums
54: Photo Albums
55: Forums
56: Photo Albums
57: Forums
58: Home
59: Forums
60: Photo Albums
61: Forums
62: Home
63: Forums
64: Photo Albums
65: Forums
66: Forums
67: Home
68: Forums
69: Home
70: Forums
71: Your Account
72: Forums
73: Forums
74: Home
75: Forums
76: Home
77: Photo Albums
78: Photo Albums
79: Forums
80: Home
81: Forums
82: Forums
83: Forums
84: Home
85: Home
86: Forums
87: Home
88: Photo Albums
89: Photo Albums
90: Forums
91: Home
92: Home
93: Photo Albums
94: Photo Albums
95: Forums
96: Forums
97: Forums
98: Forums
99: Forums
100: Forums
101: Photo Albums
102: Home
103: Home
104: Home
105: Forums
106: Photo Albums
107: Your Account
108: Photo Albums
109: Home
110: Photo Albums
111: Forums
112: Forums
113: Forums
114: Home
115: Photo Albums
  BOT:
01: Forums
02: Home

Staff Online:

No staff members are online!
 

Coppermine Stats
Photo Albums
 Albums: 307
 Pictures: 2397
  · Views: 734968
  · Votes: 1313
  · Comments: 86
 

Email Is a Great Thing
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
Post new topic   Reply to topic   Printer Friendly Page    Forum Index » Jokes & Humor

View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
Vince
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 14709
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Fri Dec 28, 2007 12:32 am    Post subject: Email Is a Great Thing Reply with quote

Dear All

My thanks to all those who have sent me emails this past year........

I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the one about cockroach eggs in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet towel with every envelope that needs sealing.

Also, I now have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown); who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th
time.

I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program .....

Or from the senior bank clerk in Nigeria who wants me to split $7 million with me for pretending to be a long lost relative of a
customer who died intestate.

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.

Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca-Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer can buy petrol without taking a man along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm filling
up.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore and Uzbekistan.

Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my bum.

And thanks to your great advice, I can't even pick up the $5.00 I found dropped in the car park because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.

If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhoea will land on your head at 5:00pm this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump.

I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbour's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician.

By the way....a South American scientist after a lengthy study has discovered that people with low IQ who have infrequent sexual activity always read their e-mails with their hand on the mouse.

Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late. Laughing Laughing ROFL

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
Back to top
View user's profile AIM Address MSN Messenger Yahoo Messenger Photo Gallery
fireball 3
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jan 28, 2007
Posts: 393
Location: northern calif

PostPosted: Fri Dec 28, 2007 7:48 am    Post subject: Re: Email Is a Great Thing Reply with quote

Confused Laughing Hiding ROFL my hand never left the mouse. Did'nt want it to run away.
Haha Very Happy

_________________
if at first you don't succeed, take a nap, and try
tomorrow. can't hurt!
Back to top
View user's profile Yahoo Messenger
wy111
Member
Member


Joined: Jun 02, 2005
Posts: 114
Location: N. Yorkshire, U.K. ( Pomgolia)

PostPosted: Sat Dec 29, 2007 3:38 pm    Post subject: Re: Email Is a Great Thing Reply with quote

Damn you, found out again!!!!!!

Have a great New Year Vince and to everyone else.


Dave

_________________
Dave
Back to top
View user's profile Visit poster's website
Vince
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 14709
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Sat Dec 29, 2007 9:57 pm    Post subject: Re: Email Is a Great Thing Reply with quote

wy111 wrote:
Damn you, found out again!!!!!!

Have a great New Year Vince and to everyone else.

Dave

Likewise mate...don't drink too much...or too little. Laughing

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
Back to top
View user's profile AIM Address MSN Messenger Yahoo Messenger Photo Gallery
jbird22cal
Member
Member


Joined: Dec 13, 2006
Posts: 67
Location: Baraboo, WI

PostPosted: Sun Dec 30, 2007 4:21 am    Post subject: Re: Email Is a Great Thing Reply with quote

My hand... Is on the mouse... Oops.

Have a safe and happy new years folks. Raise your drink with me.

_________________
"There, now it's better than new." - Harley Smith

"A fear of weapons is a sign of retarded sexual and emotional maturity." - Sigmund Freud

" I am not trying to be better than you... I'm not even trying to be Holier than you... I'm trying to be better and Holier than I was yesterday!" - jbird22cal
Back to top
View user's profile Yahoo Messenger
Dimitri
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Nov 25, 2005
Posts: 5910

PostPosted: Sun Dec 30, 2007 9:27 am    Post subject: Re: Email Is a Great Thing Reply with quote

Hands not on the mouse cause you can scroll down the page using the arrow keys on your keyboard! Very Happy

Dimitri

_________________
A thousand hills, but no birds in flight, ten thousand paths, with no people's tracks. A lonely boat, a straw-hatted old man, fishing alone in the cold river snow.
Back to top
View user's profile Photo Gallery
blkdog
Rookie Member
Rookie Member


Joined: Mar 25, 2007
Posts: 3

PostPosted: Tue Jan 01, 2008 11:25 am    Post subject: Re: Email Is a Great Thing Reply with quote

Vince, you've done it again. Happy New Year to all, and may the new year be the best and most peacefull ever. blkdog
Back to top
View user's profile
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic   Printer Friendly Page    Forum Index » Jokes & Humor
Page 1 of 1
All times are GMT - 7 Hours



Jump to:  


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
You cannot attach files in this forum
You cannot download files in this forum


Valid CSS! Valid HTML 4.01!
Click to check if this page is realy HTML 4.01 compliant for speed :)

All logos and trademarks in this site are property of HuntingNut.com.
The comments are property of their posters, all the rest © 2011 by HuntingNut.com
Interactive software released under GNU GPL, Code Credits, Privacy Policy

.: Upgraded to DragonFly 9.2 by *Dizfunkshunal* :.