Seems you have reached that stage in life where unpleasant things always seem to be happening mate. I’m so sorry to hear of your Mum’s passing…it sounds like she was a real fighter, deaf, blind and dementia and she had already put up with MS AND she reached 99 years old…what a lady. Your Mum certainly left some BIG boots for you to fill mate.

That morphine shot is what one Doctor told me is a ‘comfort shot’. My Dad, 89, was in a Palliative Care ward in hospital (16 yrs ago now), he was in a coma and not expected to come out of it. We were all sitting around his bed waiting when an Indian Dr came in and said we need to do his ‘obs’ and would we all wait outside for five minutes. A Nurse called us back in and we noticed that the screens were off…he had passed. The Dr had given him a ‘comfort shot’ of morphine while we waited outside. I won’t go into my feelings about it all, but suffice to say both your Mum and him went ‘comfortably’ and pain free.

Vince wrote:

That morphine shot is what one Doctor told me is a ‘comfort shot’. My Dad, 89, was in a Palliative Care ward in hospital (16 yrs ago now), he was in a coma and not expected to come out of it. We were all sitting around his bed waiting when an Indian Dr came in and said we need to do his ‘obs’ and would we all wait outside for five minutes. A Nurse called us back in and we noticed that the screens were off…he had passed. The Dr had given him a ‘comfort shot’ of morphine while we waited outside. I won’t go into my feelings about it all, but suffice to say both your Mum and him went ‘comfortably’ and pain free.

See, I'd always heard that as well. And I'm glad both of your experiences follow that.

My experience was the absolute opposite to it.

I don't want go into too many details, but when they gave my dad the first shot, he immediately was wracked with pain and all his muscles clenched up so hard I thought his teeth were going to break as I held his hand. He lost voice control but to me it seemed like he was screaming in pain. F'ing rules on Morphine are such the nurse couldn't get the whole amount, but could only request a certain amount at a time, per 5 or 10 minutes even for a end of life proceedure. So we watched my dad go through this for 25 minutes while the nurse kept going up and waiting the 5 minutes or whatever it was for the next shot. And all of that was before they even turned off the Oxygen (which was the thing that he actually died from... 5 hours later).

It has deeply scarred me for life. I resent it daily. I'll never get over it. Will never get over the feeling of shame I feel for what he went through. Absolutely no feeling "it was for the best". He didn't deserve that. I'll say one more thing, I will not go out that way, no chance in hell. If it comes to it I'm going out on my own terms.

-DallanC

Thanks Vince, in the comfort shot we are Brothers. I'm glad that Dad died peacefully.

Geez Dallan, I'm so sorry that your Dad and you had to endure that mess or what looks to be a total sh*t show!. There are words that I can express to help in any way shape or form. Man that's brutal.

Now we can really only say that Vince's Dad, Your Dad and my Mum are at peace now. May they rest in peace.

DallanC wrote:

Vince wrote: That morphine shot is what one Doctor told me is a ‘comfort shot’. My Dad, 89, was in a Palliative Care ward in hospital (16 yrs ago now), he was in a coma and not expected to come out of it. We were all sitting around his bed waiting when an Indian Dr came in and said we need to do his ‘obs’ and would we all wait outside for five minutes. A Nurse called us back in and we noticed that the screens were off…he had passed. The Dr had given him a ‘comfort shot’ of morphine while we waited outside. I won’t go into my feelings about it all, but suffice to say both your Mum and him went ‘comfortably’ and pain free. See, I'd always heard that as well. And I'm glad both of your experiences follow that. My experience was the absolute opposite to it. I don't want go into too many details, but when they gave my dad the first shot, he immediately was wracked with pain and all his muscles clenched up so hard I thought his teeth were going to break as I held his hand. He lost voice control but to me it seemed like he was screaming in pain. F'ing rules on Morphine are such the nurse couldn't get the whole amount, but could only request a certain amount at a time, per 5 or 10 minutes even for a end of life proceedure. So we watched my dad go through this for 25 minutes while the nurse kept going up and waiting the 5 minutes or whatever it was for the next shot. And all of that was before they even turned off the Oxygen (which was the thing that he actually died from... 5 hours later). It has deeply scarred me for life. I resent it daily. I'll never get over it. Will never get over the feeling of shame I feel for what he went through. Absolutely no feeling "it was for the best". He didn't deserve that. I'll say one more thing, I will not go out that way, no chance in hell. If it comes to it I'm going out on my own terms. -DallanC

Words cannot express how I felt reading of what your Dad suffered mate. You’re a stronger man than me, I would have used the ‘fingers around the throat approach’ and demanded that a Dr step in and take steps to solve the problem and suffering. I’m so sorry that your Dad’s final hours were the way they were and not peaceful for both you, your family and most importantly, him.