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Surprise
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Tremblay
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Oct 08, 2007
Posts: 2523
Location: Malta, Montana

PostPosted: Tue Mar 26, 2019 6:59 pm    Post subject: Surprise Reply with quote

Oh OH

_________________
Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it. - Mark
Twain

Never argue with a stupid person ,cause they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience. Mark Twwain
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pete4d
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Nov 27, 2011
Posts: 957
Location: Dixie , Alabama , & Louisiana

PostPosted: Tue Mar 26, 2019 7:07 pm    Post subject: Re: Surprise Reply with quote

Second best is "Saran wrap" the toilet seat.....

_________________
"march to the sound of the guns and shoot everyone not dressed like you"--D I 1968

When the SHTF I'm gonna hunker down until all those idiots kill each other. up-date

The secret to enjoying life is to never take it too seriously, as you will never make it out alive!

I'm on the watch list are you ?
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Vince
Site Admin
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 15313
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Tue Mar 26, 2019 7:20 pm    Post subject: Re: Surprise Reply with quote

...and also put Vaseline on the inside door knob.

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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Vince
Site Admin
Site Admin


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 15313
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Tue Mar 26, 2019 7:21 pm    Post subject: Re: Surprise Reply with quote

Tremblay wrote:
Oh OH

Surprised Shocked Confused wtf Shocked Mad

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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dhc4ever
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 26, 2011
Posts: 2938
Location: Ipswich, Queensland Australia

PostPosted: Wed Mar 27, 2019 1:44 am    Post subject: Re: Surprise Reply with quote

See what you've started Trembles.......

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Pete

Dont do anything you wont like explaining to the paramedics..............
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Bushmaster
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Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 11255
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Wed Mar 27, 2019 7:39 am    Post subject: Re: Surprise Reply with quote

In the "old days" we just moved the outhouse back a couple of feet.

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I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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PaulS
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Joined: Feb 18, 2006
Posts: 4327
Location: South-Eastern Washington - the State

PostPosted: Wed Mar 27, 2019 6:00 pm    Post subject: Re: Surprise Reply with quote

Peanut butter on the underside of the inside door knob of the bathroom....

Brown paint stripes on the toilet seat....

but if you want to hurt somebody... never mind.

_________________
Paul
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Speer, Lyman, Hodgdon, Sierra, and Hornady = reliable loading data
So and So's pages on the internet = NOT reliable loading data
Always check data against manuals
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pete4d
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Nov 27, 2011
Posts: 957
Location: Dixie , Alabama , & Louisiana

PostPosted: Wed Mar 27, 2019 6:20 pm    Post subject: Re: Surprise Reply with quote

One of the best I did ;

Put EX-LAX in some chocolate-chip cookies to find out who was stealing my lunch ... Cheers Evil or Very Mad Cheers

_________________
"march to the sound of the guns and shoot everyone not dressed like you"--D I 1968

When the SHTF I'm gonna hunker down until all those idiots kill each other. up-date

The secret to enjoying life is to never take it too seriously, as you will never make it out alive!

I'm on the watch list are you ?
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Vince
Site Admin
Site Admin


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 15313
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Thu Mar 28, 2019 6:18 pm    Post subject: Re: Surprise Reply with quote

pete4d wrote:
One of the best I did ;

Put EX-LAX in some chocolate-chip cookies to find out who was stealing my lunch ... Cheers Evil or Very Mad Cheers

I did something similar, only we used a product called Agarol. Very Happy

I had to play it real low key and keep my head down for a little while after seeing my boss (the Regimental Sergeant Major or RSM) Scratch make several urgent trips to the crapatorium to unload in an “explosive” manner, Very Happy accompanied by moans and groans Embarassed Laughing and subsequent requests to the medics for something to ease a “burning” ring piece. Mad Mad

It worked well...lunches were left alone after that. Flame Cool Cool

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)


Last edited by Vince on Thu Mar 28, 2019 6:23 pm; edited 1 time in total
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slimjim
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 16, 2009
Posts: 8258
Location: Fort Worth TX

PostPosted: Thu Mar 28, 2019 6:23 pm    Post subject: Re: Surprise Reply with quote

PaulS wrote:
but if you want to hurt somebody... never mind.

Or get hurt ... I short sheet my wife once ... only once. Lucky for me I did it just before I left to work out of town for a week. She was still fuming when I got home.

_________________
"To anger a conservative, lie to him. To anger a liberal, tell him the truth." - Theodore Roosevelt

"The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it." - Albert Einstein
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Vince
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 15313
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Thu Mar 28, 2019 6:24 pm    Post subject: Re: Surprise Reply with quote

slimjim wrote:
PaulS wrote:
but if you want to hurt somebody... never mind.

Or get hurt ... I short sheet my wife once ... only once. Lucky for me I did it just before I left to work out of town for a week. She was still fuming when I got home.

Haha Haha Haha Haha

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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TRBLSHTR
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Mar 23, 2007
Posts: 1071
Location: Lower 48's-left coast(near portlandia)

PostPosted: Fri Mar 29, 2019 3:03 pm    Post subject: Re: Surprise Reply with quote

Razz -Or be just plain mean:paint some poison oak or poison ivy oil on the door knobs to the bathroom or the toilet seat!extremely excrutiating to all sexes! Razz

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"Tolerance becomes a crime when applied to evil." Thomas Mann
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gelandangan
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 07, 2006
Posts: 6309
Location: Sydney Australia

PostPosted: Sun Mar 31, 2019 2:50 pm    Post subject: Re: Surprise Reply with quote

Put rock sugar inside their shower head.
It will melt as the target take shower and leave a thin itchy crust in the skin.
Subsequent showers will only exacerbate the situation until the sugar all melted out.

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A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.

Do - Not try!


gelandangan.weebly.com/
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Bushmaster
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 11255
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Sun Mar 31, 2019 7:24 pm    Post subject: Re: Surprise Reply with quote

Hummm. Gettin' some good ideas here.

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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Pumpkinslinger
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Sep 22, 2007
Posts: 4902
Location: NC foothills

PostPosted: Mon Apr 01, 2019 2:02 pm    Post subject: Re: Surprise Reply with quote

Remind me not to piss any of you guys off!

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Mike

"I ain't no better than anybody else, and there ain't nobody better than me!" Ma Kettle
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