Dear Noah,

I swear you said you were not leaving until 5pm,
Sincerely,
The Unicorns

Dear Fox News,

So far, no news about foxes.
Sincerely,
Unimpressed

Dear Scissors,

I feel your pain.....no one wants to run with me either.
Sincerely,
Sarah Palin

Dear Saturn,

I liked it, so I put a ring on it.
Sincerely,
God

Dear Icebergs,

Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma's a bitch.
Sincerely,
The Titanic

Dear Man,

It's cute, but can you pick up peanuts with it?
Sincerely,
Elephant

Dear America,

You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.
Sincerely,
Canada

Dear Yahoo,

I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo! it..." just saying...
Sincerely,
Google

Dear World,

Please stop freaking out about 2012. Our calendar ends there because some Spanish dirtbags invaded our country and we got a little busy ok?
Sincerely,
The Mayans

Dear 2010,

So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTF happened?
Sincerely,
1985

Dear girls who have been dumped,

There are plenty of fish in the sea... Just kidding! They're mostly dead.
Sincerely,
BP Oil

Dear World of Warcraft,

Thank you for ensuring my son's virginity.
Sincerely,
Parents Everywhere

Dear Customers,

Yes, we ARE making fun of you in Vietnamese.
Sincerely,
Nail Salon Ladies

Dear Ugly People,

You're welcome.
Sincerely,
Alcohol

Dear White People,

Don't you just hate immigrants?
Sincerely,
Native Americans

Dear iPhone,

Please stop spellchecking all of my rude words into nice words. You piece of shut.
Sincerely,
Every iPhone User