When you are over sixty who gives a sh1t?

This a$$hole looked at my beer belly last night and sarcastically said, "Is that Corona or Bud?"

I said, "There's a tap underneath; taste it and find out."

***********

I was talking to a girl in the bar last night.

She said, "If you lost a few pounds,had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right."

I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you."

***********

I was telling a girl in the pub about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her breasts.

"Really" she said, "Go on then...try."

After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose patience and said.

"Come on, what day was I born"?

I said, “Yesterday."

***********

I got caught taking a pee in the local swimming pool today.

The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in.

***********

I went to the pub last night and saw a fat chick dancing on a table.

I said, "Nice legs."

The girl giggled and said with a smile, "Do you really think so."

I said "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now. "

Yup...Almost 70 and those would fit me to a tee...

You still got it Vince!

I can relate to that

Funny aint it how most of our good stuff starts out " There I was down at the bar" ... The part about the pool must have been right after leaving the bar, Right Vince ? ( Hic ! )

awesome.

10spotterminator wrote:

Funny aint it how most of our good stuff starts out " There I was down at the bar" ... The part about the pool must have been right after leaving the bar, Right Vince ? ( Hic ! )

Ummm...could be 10spot.

Yes!!!