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Vince Site Admin
Joined: May 25, 2005 Posts: 15723 Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA
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Posted: Wed Jan 19, 2011 8:57 pm Post subject: Potatoes !!!! |
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This one is gonna win me the sickest joke award back again...
Potatoes
Well, A Girl Potato and Boy Potato had eyes for each other,
And finally they got married, and had a little sweet
Potato, which they
Called 'Yam.'
Of course, they wanted the best for Yam.
When it was time, they told her about the factsOf life.
They warned her about going
Out and getting
Half-baked, so she wouldn't get accidentally mashed, and
Get a bad name for herself like 'Hot Potato,' and
End up with a bunch of tater tots
Yam said not to worry, no Spud would get
Her into the sack and make a rotten potato out of her!
But on the other hand she wouldn't stay home and become a Couch Potato either.
She would get plenty of exercise so as not to be skinny like her shoestring cousins.
When she went off to
Europe , Mr. And Mrs. Potato told Yam
To watch out
For the hard-boiled guys from Ireland and the greasy guys from France called the French fries. And
When she went out West, to
Watch out for the Indians so she wouldn't get scalloped..
Yam said she would stay on the straight and
Narrow and wouldn't associate with
Those high class Yukon Golds, or the ones from the other side of the tracks who advertise their trade on all
The trucks that say,
'Frito Lay.'
Mr. And Mrs. Potato sent Yam to Idaho P.U. (that's
Potato University ) so that when she graduated she'd really be in the Chips.
But in spite of all they did for
Her, one-day Yam came home
And announced she was
Going to marry Tom Brokaw.
Tom Brokaw!
Mr. And Mrs. Potato were very upset.
They told Yam she couldn't
Possibly marry Tom Brokaw because he's just.......
Are you
Ready for this?
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Are
You sure?
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OK!
Here it is!
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*
A
COMMONTATER
Cheers, Vince
_________________ Cheers, Vince
Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)
Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.
"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
Last edited by Vince on Wed Jan 19, 2011 9:03 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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hunterjoe21 Super Member
Joined: Mar 30, 2007 Posts: 1486 Location: Miles City, Montana
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slimjim Super Member
Joined: May 16, 2009 Posts: 8316 Location: Fort Worth TX
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Posted: Wed Jan 19, 2011 9:08 pm Post subject: Re: Potatoes !!!! |
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Wow, I could only make it part way through. Please, others shouldn't try to challenge Vince!
_________________ "To anger a conservative, lie to him. To anger a liberal, tell him the truth." - Theodore Roosevelt
"The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it." - Albert Einstein |
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Elvis Super Member
Joined: Jul 27, 2008 Posts: 9259 Location: south island New Zealand
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Posted: Wed Jan 19, 2011 10:57 pm Post subject: Re: Potatoes !!!! |
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very good
_________________ You shot it You pluck it !
Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers! |
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wiersy111 Super Member
Joined: May 13, 2009 Posts: 2376 Location: Central Minnesota
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Posted: Thu Jan 20, 2011 8:58 pm Post subject: Re: Potatoes !!!! |
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Well you got my vote!
_________________ A veteran is someone who, at one point in his life wrote a blank check made payable to "The United States of America " for an amount of "up to and including my life."
US ARMY RETIRED
The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.
Being "Over the Hill" is much better then being under it! |
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44marty Super Member
Joined: Mar 20, 2009 Posts: 775 Location: Cheshire, MA; USA
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Posted: Fri Jan 21, 2011 8:04 am Post subject: Re: Potatoes !!!! |
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Ouch Ow Ow Ow
You win, Vince
That's even cornier than:
I saw the chicken cross the road
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It was poultry in motion.
_________________ _____________________________________
The strength of the wolf is in the pack; the strength of the pack is in the wolf. ~ R. Kipling
I LOVE YOU, LADY LUCK !!! |
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Vince Site Admin
Joined: May 25, 2005 Posts: 15723 Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA
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Bushmaster Super Member
Joined: Jun 12, 2005 Posts: 11394 Location: Ava, Missouri
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Posted: Sat Jan 22, 2011 9:31 am Post subject: Re: Potatoes !!!! |
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O K everyone...Back away [slowly] from the ice chest. You all have had enough.
_________________ I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...
DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote... |
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Ominivision1 Super Member
Joined: Sep 20, 2010 Posts: 2984 Location: Iowa
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Posted: Sat Jan 22, 2011 10:48 am Post subject: Re: Potatoes !!!! |
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_________________ Regards
Limitations are but boundaries created inside our minds. |
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slimjim Super Member
Joined: May 16, 2009 Posts: 8316 Location: Fort Worth TX
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Posted: Sat Jan 22, 2011 1:57 pm Post subject: Re: Potatoes !!!! |
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Elvis, don't you mean bad?!?
44marty wrote: |
It was poultry in motion. |
marty, that's not even a close second! But, please don't try again!
_________________ "To anger a conservative, lie to him. To anger a liberal, tell him the truth." - Theodore Roosevelt
"The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it." - Albert Einstein |
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chambered221 Super Member
Joined: Aug 17, 2007 Posts: 3455 Location: Lost for good !!!
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Posted: Sat Jan 22, 2011 6:41 pm Post subject: Re: Potatoes !!!! |
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Please join me in remembering a great icon. Veteran Pillsbury spokesperson, The Pillsbury Doughboy, died yesterday of a severe yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes to the belly. He was 71. Doughboy was buried in a slightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out, including Mrs. Butterworth, the California Raisins, Hungry Jack, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, Captain Crunch and many others.
The graveside was piled high with flours as long-time friend, Aunt Jemima, delivered the eulogy, describing Doughboy as a man who "never knew how much he was kneaded."
Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with many turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, even as a crusty old man, he was still considered a roll model for millions.
Toward the end it was thought he'd raise once again, but he was no tart.
Doughboy is survived by his wife Play Dough, three children: John Dough, Jane Dough and Dosey Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart.
The funeral was held at 350 for about 20 minutes.
_________________ Ask as many people needed, sooner or later your question will be answered the way you want it answered !!!
A free people ought not only to be armed and disciplined, but they should have sufficient arms and ammunition to maintain a status of independence from any who might attempt to abuse them, which would include their own government.
~George Washington |
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Vince Site Admin
Joined: May 25, 2005 Posts: 15723 Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA
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Posted: Sun Jan 23, 2011 4:01 am Post subject: Re: Potatoes !!!! |
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_________________ Cheers, Vince
Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)
Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.
"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done) |
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chambered221 Super Member
Joined: Aug 17, 2007 Posts: 3455 Location: Lost for good !!!
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Posted: Sun Jan 23, 2011 12:25 pm Post subject: Re: Potatoes !!!! |
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Well thank you Vince, I can't take credit for it though.......I kinda borrowed it !!!
_________________ Ask as many people needed, sooner or later your question will be answered the way you want it answered !!!
A free people ought not only to be armed and disciplined, but they should have sufficient arms and ammunition to maintain a status of independence from any who might attempt to abuse them, which would include their own government.
~George Washington |
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cbsweeney Member
Joined: Jun 18, 2010 Posts: 197 Location: New York
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Posted: Wed Jan 26, 2011 1:05 pm Post subject: Re: Potatoes !!!! |
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Vince, you are the best!
So this horse walks into a bar to order a beer, and the bartender say's " Hey Pal, why the long face".........
_________________ Give a man a fish, and he will eat today. Teach a man to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. |
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Bushmaster Super Member
Joined: Jun 12, 2005 Posts: 11394 Location: Ava, Missouri
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Posted: Wed Jan 26, 2011 1:49 pm Post subject: Re: Potatoes !!!! |
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Horses still pull street cars in New York?
_________________ I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...
DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote... |
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