CHRISTMAS RUM CAKE

Ingredients:
1 cup of water
1 tsp. baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp. salt
1 cup of brown sugar
lemon juice
4 large eggs
nuts
1 Large bottle Rum
2 cups of dried fruit

Sample the Rum to check quality.
Take a large bowl, then check the Rum again.
Just to be sure it is of the highest quality,
pour one level cup and drink.
Repeat.

Turn on the electric mixer.
Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
Add one teaspoon of sugar.
Beat again.

At this point it's best to make sure that your
Rum is still OK.

Try another cup .... just in case
Turn off the mixerer.

Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in
the cup of dried fruit.
Pick fruit off floor.

Mix on the turner.

If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers,
pry it loose with a drewscriver.

Sample the Rum to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Who
giveshz a sh't.

Check the Rum once more.

Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.

Add one table.

Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you
can find.

Greash the oven.

Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to
fall over.

Don't forget to beat off the turner.

Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish
the Rum and kiss the cat.


CHERRY MISTMAS!

Hey, Gelan; You left out the Flour! Not that I suppose you'll notice, what with the sampling and all...