Got an e-mail today from a bored local housewife, 43, who was looking for some hot action! So I sent her my ironing.

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I got invited to a party and was told to dress to kill. Apparently a turban, beard and a backpack wasn’t what they had in mind.

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After a night of drink, drugs and wild sex Bill woke up to find himself next to a really ugly woman. That’s when he realised he had made it home safely.

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Paddy says to Mick, “Christmas is on a Friday this year.” Mick said, “Let’s hope it’s not the 13th then.”

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My mate just hired an Eastern European cleaner, took her 5 hours to Hoover the house. Turns out she was a Slovak.

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Since the snow came all the wife has done is look through the window. If it gets any worse, I’ll have to let her in.

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I’ve been charged with murder for killing a man with sandpaper. To be honest I only intended to rough him up a bit.

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After years of research, scientists have discovered what makes women happy. Nothing.

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A lad comes home from school and excitedly tells his dad that he had a part in the school play and he was playing a man who had been married for 25 years. The dad says, “Never mind son, maybe next year you’ll get a speaking part.”

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Cheers, Vince

very good as always keep them coming.

Chuckles..
Where ever you come up with these Vince?

gelandangan wrote:

Chuckles.. Where ever you come up with these Vince?

Anywhere and everywhere mate.

Cheers, Vince