Found this somewhere, funy but true.

Today's Professional Management talks.


1."We will do it" means "You will do it"


2."You have done a great job" means "More work to be given to you"


3."We are working on it" means "We have not yet started working on the same"


4."Tomorrow first thing in the morning" means "Its not getting done "At least not tomorrow!"


5."After discussion we will decide-I am very open to views" means "I have already decided , I will tell you what to do"


6."There was a slight miscommunication" means "We had actually lied"


7."Lets call a meeting and discuss" means "I have no time now, will talk later"


8."We can always do it" means "We actually cannot do the same on time"


9."We are on the right track but there needs to be a slight extension of the deadline" means "The project is screwed up, we cannot deliver on time."


10."We had slight differences of opinion "means "We had actually fought"


11."Make a list of the work that you do and let's see how I can help you" means "Anyway you have to find a way out no help from me"


12."You should have told me earlier" means "Well even if you told me earlier that would have made hardly any difference!"


13."We need to find out the real reason" means " Well I will tell you where your fault is"


14."Well Family is important; your leave is always granted. Just ensure that the work is not affected," means, "Well you know..."


15."We are a team," means, "I am not the only one to be blamed"


16."That's actually a good question" means "I do not know anything about it"


17."All the Best" means "You are in trouble "

yep so very true

"Let me get back to you on that" actually means, "yeah, in your dreams, I'm hoping you'll forget about it by tomorrow"

"You have my undivided attention" actually means, "the woodland jamboree is playing in my head"

"I have an open door policy for all my staff" actually means, "I obviously have no interest in what you're bitching about"

----those ones are mine, use them with my staff here every day, lol

"I believe in being a team". means "You people are the team and you will do my bidding". Or the "team" are all those that do what I tell them to do...

Bushmaster wrote:

"I believe in being a team". means "You people are the team and you will do my bidding". Or the "team" are all those that do what I tell them to do...

Anybody have a problem with that you're off the team.

keetoowah wrote:

Bushmaster wrote: "I believe in being a team". means "You people are the team and you will do my bidding". Or the "team" are all those that do what I tell them to do... Anybody have a problem with that you're off the team.

I agree with ya'll, Where I work,I am the team. Even the owner never shows up on time. I guess that's why "they" pay me the big buck!!! Notice the buck isn't plural. Ha Ha. Dave

I've got one more,sort of fits with what's going on around the office here this week.

"I think you should consider everything carefully before tendering that resignation" actually means "yeah, there's six people waiting down in the pool hall I can replace you with. Just leave the keys on the desk"