HuntingNut
HuntingNut
   Login or Register
HomeCommunity ForumsPhoto AlbumsRegister
     
 

User Info

Welcome Anonymous


Membership:
Latest: patrad69
New Today: 0
New Yesterday: 0
Overall: 13133

People Online:
Members: 0
Visitors: 146
BOT: 1
Total: 147
Who Is Where:
 Visitors:
01: Home
02: Forums
03: Forums
04: Forums
05: Forums
06: Forums
07: Home
08: Home
09: Forums
10: Photo Albums
11: Forums
12: Forums
13: Forums
14: Forums
15: Forums
16: Forums
17: Your Account
18: Forums
19: Forums
20: Photo Albums
21: Forums
22: Home
23: Photo Albums
24: Forums
25: Home
26: Forums
27: Forums
28: Home
29: Home
30: Home
31: Home
32: Forums
33: Home
34: Home
35: Forums
36: Forums
37: Forums
38: Forums
39: Forums
40: Photo Albums
41: Home
42: Forums
43: Forums
44: Forums
45: Home
46: Forums
47: Forums
48: Forums
49: Forums
50: Forums
51: Forums
52: Forums
53: Forums
54: Forums
55: Photo Albums
56: Forums
57: Forums
58: Forums
59: Home
60: Home
61: Forums
62: Forums
63: Forums
64: Home
65: Forums
66: Forums
67: Forums
68: Forums
69: Forums
70: Forums
71: Forums
72: Forums
73: Photo Albums
74: Forums
75: Home
76: Home
77: Forums
78: Forums
79: Forums
80: Forums
81: Home
82: Home
83: Photo Albums
84: Forums
85: Forums
86: Forums
87: Forums
88: Photo Albums
89: Forums
90: Photo Albums
91: Forums
92: Photo Albums
93: Home
94: Forums
95: Photo Albums
96: Photo Albums
97: Forums
98: Forums
99: Forums
100: Forums
101: Forums
102: Forums
103: Forums
104: Forums
105: Photo Albums
106: Home
107: Forums
108: Forums
109: Forums
110: Forums
111: Forums
112: Forums
113: Your Account
114: Forums
115: Forums
116: Home
117: Home
118: Home
119: Forums
120: Forums
121: Forums
122: Forums
123: Photo Albums
124: Forums
125: Forums
126: Forums
127: Forums
128: Forums
129: Forums
130: Forums
131: Forums
132: Your Account
133: Forums
134: Photo Albums
135: Forums
136: Forums
137: Photo Albums
138: Photo Albums
139: Forums
140: Forums
141: Your Account
142: Photo Albums
143: Forums
144: Forums
145: Forums
146: Forums
  BOT:
01: Forums

Staff Online:

No staff members are online!
 

Coppermine Stats
Photo Albums
 Albums: 308
 Pictures: 2452
  · Views: 825031
  · Votes: 1316
  · Comments: 86
 

Amendments to the NJ Drivers Handbook
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
Post new topic   Reply to topic   Printer Friendly Page    Forum Index » Jokes & Humor

View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
Vince
Site Admin
Site Admin


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 15725
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Fri Dec 08, 2006 6:51 am    Post subject: Amendments to the NJ Drivers Handbook Reply with quote

Jersey Motorist's Handbook
New Regulations in the New Jersey Division of Motor Vehicle's 2006 Handbook:

1. Turn signals will give away your next move. A confident New Jersey Driver avoids using them.

2. Under no circumstance should you maintain a safe distance between you and the car in front of you, because the space will be filled in by somebody else, putting you in an even more dangerous situation.

3. The faster you drive through a red light, the less chance you have of getting hit.

4. WARNING! Never come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one expects it and it will result in your being rear-ended.

5. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork, especially with PA, NY or DE plates. With no insurance, the other operator probably has nothing to lose.

6. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that your ABS kicks in, giving a vigorous, foot massage as the brake pedal violently pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to strengthen your leg muscles.

7. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. It's a good way to prepare other drivers entering the highway.

8. Speed limits are arbitrary figures; given only as a suggestion and are not enforceable in New Jersey during rush hour.

9 Just because you're in the left lane and have no room to speed up or move over doesn't mean that a New York driver flashing his high beams behind you doesn't think he can go faster in your spot.

10. Always brake and rubberneck when you see an accident or even someone changing a tire. This is seen as a sign of respect for the victim.

11. Learn to swerve abruptly without signaling. New Jersey is the home of high-speed slalom-driving thanks to the Department of Transportation, which puts potholes in key locations to test drivers' reflexes and keep them alert.

12. It is tradition in New Jersey to honk your horn at cars in front of you that do not move three milliseconds after the light turns green.

13. To avoid injury in the event of a collision or rollover, it is important to exit your vehicle thru the windshield right away. Wearing your seat belt will only impede your hi-velocity escape from danger.

14. Remember that the goal of every New Jersey driver is to get ahead of the pack by whatever means necessary.

15. In New Jersey, 'flipping the bird' is considered a polite salute. This gesture should always be returned.


Thank You,
The New Jersey Division of Motor Vehicles



Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
Back to top
View user's profile AIM Address MSN Messenger Yahoo Messenger Photo Gallery
TXCountryboy
Member
Member


Joined: Dec 14, 2006
Posts: 30
Location: Texas

PostPosted: Sun Dec 17, 2006 3:10 pm    Post subject: Re: Amendments to the NJ Drivers Handbook Reply with quote

Hey Vince,
I lived up north for a while and several of these are "honest-to-God" absolutely true. The following points apply to most of the northeast though, not just NJ:

#1, 2, 7, and 9

Great post - are you Australian or just an ex-pat?
Back to top
View user's profile
Vince
Site Admin
Site Admin


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 15725
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Mon Dec 18, 2006 9:26 pm    Post subject: Re: Amendments to the NJ Drivers Handbook Reply with quote

TXCountryboy wrote:
Hey Vince,
IGreat post - are you Australian or just an ex-pat?

Gidday mate....I'm a true blue, fair dinkum Aussie....and a good lookin' rooster to boot. Very Happy Laughing :lol: Laughing

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
Back to top
View user's profile AIM Address MSN Messenger Yahoo Messenger Photo Gallery
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic   Printer Friendly Page    Forum Index » Jokes & Humor
Page 1 of 1
All times are GMT - 7 Hours



Jump to:  


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
You cannot attach files in this forum
You cannot download files in this forum


Valid CSS! Valid HTML 4.01!
Click to check if this page is realy HTML 4.01 compliant for speed :)

All logos and trademarks in this site are property of HuntingNut.com.
The comments are property of their posters, all the rest © 2011 by HuntingNut.com
Interactive software released under GNU GPL, Code Credits, Privacy Policy

.: Upgraded to DragonFly 9.2 by *Dizfunkshunal* :.