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Al Qaeda on StrikeJokes, funny stories and general humor
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Vince Site Admin
Joined: May 25, 2005 Posts: 15725 Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA
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Posted: Sat Mar 27, 2010 1:29 am Post subject: Al Qaeda on Strike |
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Al Qaeda on Strike*
Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-day strike on Monday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in the afterlife. Emergency talks with Al Qaeda have so far failed to produce an agreement.
The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda announced that the number of virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death will be cut by 25% this February from 72 to only 54. The rationale for the cut was the increase in recent years of the number of suicide bombings and a subsequent shortage of virgins in the afterlife.
The suicide bombers' union, the British Organization of Occupational Martyrs
(or B.O.O.M.) responded with a statement that this was unacceptable to its members and immediately balloted for strike action.
General Secretary Abdullah Amir told the press, "Our members are literally working themselves to death in the cause of Jihad. We don't ask for much in return but to be treated like this is like a kick in the teeth."
Speaking from his shed in Tipton in the West Midlands in which he currently resides, Al Qaeda chief executive Osama bin Laden explained, "We sympathize with our workers' concerns but Al Qaeda is simply not in a position to meet their demands. They are simply not accepting the realities of modern-day Jihad in a competitive marketplace.
"Thanks to Western depravity, there is now a chronic shortage of virgins in the afterlife. It's a straight choice between reducing expenditure and laying people off. I don't like cutting wages but I'd hate to have to tell 3000 of my staff that they won't be able to blow themselves up."
Spokespersons for the union in the Northeast of England, Ireland, Wales and the entire Australian continent stated that the strike would not affect their operations as "There are no virgins in our areas anyway".
Apparently the drop in the number of suicide bombings has been put down to the emergence of the Scottish singing star, Susan Boyle - now that Muslims know what a virgin looks like that they are not so keen on going to paradise.
Cheers, Vince
_________________ Cheers, Vince
Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)
Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.
"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done) |
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slimjim Super Member
Joined: May 16, 2009 Posts: 8316 Location: Fort Worth TX
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Posted: Sat Mar 27, 2010 5:54 am Post subject: Re: Al Qaeda on Strike |
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HMG!! I laughed after the first sentence and then again with every paragraph B.O.O.M!!! This chuckle will last several days! Thanks Vince!
_________________ "To anger a conservative, lie to him. To anger a liberal, tell him the truth." - Theodore Roosevelt
"The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it." - Albert Einstein |
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44marty Super Member
Joined: Mar 20, 2009 Posts: 775 Location: Cheshire, MA; USA
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Posted: Sun Mar 28, 2010 4:10 pm Post subject: Re: Al Qaeda on Strike |
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Now THAT'S funny
_________________ _____________________________________
The strength of the wolf is in the pack; the strength of the pack is in the wolf. ~ R. Kipling
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diesel Member
Joined: Nov 20, 2007 Posts: 90 Location: Watsontown Pa.
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Posted: Tue Mar 30, 2010 10:46 pm Post subject: Re: Al Qaeda on Strike |
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good one, Vince
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BigBlue Super Member
Joined: Jan 16, 2006 Posts: 1108 Location: Lehigh Township, Pennsylvania
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Posted: Wed Mar 31, 2010 5:00 pm Post subject: Re: Al Qaeda on Strike |
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Vince,
That's the best one I've heard in a loonng time. Poor Susan Boyle!
Don
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