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THE HUSBAND STORE
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Vince
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13605
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Tue Sep 11, 2007 10:45 pm    Post subject: THE HUSBAND STORE Reply with quote

A store that sells new husbands has just opened in Sydney , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs.

She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

"That's nice", she thinks, "but I want more."

So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.

"Oh !" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.


PLEASE NOTE:

To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.

The first floor has wives that love sex. Smile

The second floor has wives that love sex and have money. Very Happy

The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited. Laughing

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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fireball 3
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jan 28, 2007
Posts: 393
Location: northern calif

PostPosted: Wed Sep 12, 2007 6:49 am    Post subject: Re: THE HUSBAND STORE Reply with quote

Haha Haha NOW!! that's funny, don't care who ya are!! Hiding

_________________
if at first you don't succeed, take a nap, and try
tomorrow. can't hurt!
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WileyWapiti
Member
Member


Joined: Jan 04, 2006
Posts: 298
Location: NW Colorado

PostPosted: Wed Sep 12, 2007 11:37 am    Post subject: Re: THE HUSBAND STORE Reply with quote

I found my wife at the mall, I won't say which floor.

_________________
Save the whales, collect the whole set!
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Morax
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Dec 18, 2006
Posts: 618
Location: Pittsburgh Pa

PostPosted: Wed Sep 12, 2007 4:26 pm    Post subject: Re: THE HUSBAND STORE Reply with quote

WileyWapiti wrote:
I found my wife at the mall, I won't say which floor.

I met mine in a field.. so what does this tell you!
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rdncktink
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Mar 02, 2007
Posts: 476
Location: Hwaseong, South Korea

PostPosted: Wed Sep 12, 2007 8:29 pm    Post subject: Re: THE HUSBAND STORE Reply with quote

Fourth floor please. I HATE housework. All the rest can be extra, except the job. He must have job.

_________________
Don't whine how bad your country is until you live in another.
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bigdeano88
Member
Member


Joined: Aug 23, 2007
Posts: 27

PostPosted: Wed Sep 12, 2007 10:06 pm    Post subject: Re: THE HUSBAND STORE Reply with quote

haha, funny cuz this stereotype seems so true in todays world... at least in my generation with the majority of the girls and guys i hang around
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gelandangan
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 07, 2006
Posts: 5864
Location: Sydney Australia

PostPosted: Thu Sep 13, 2007 2:21 am    Post subject: Re: THE HUSBAND STORE Reply with quote

Hey Vince,
whereabout is this new wife store in Sydney?
Wonder if they take trade-ins?


Uh Oh.. the wife's coming.... Hiding

_________________
A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.

The government I trust .. is my .45-70 Government.

Do - Not try!


gelandangan.weebly.com/
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Bushmaster
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 10548
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Thu Sep 13, 2007 7:19 am    Post subject: Re: THE HUSBAND STORE Reply with quote

I'm tellin'...... Poke Now I could use a new rifle. Maybe we could make a deal... Fencing

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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Dimitri
Super Member
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Joined: Nov 25, 2005
Posts: 5906

PostPosted: Thu Sep 13, 2007 2:42 pm    Post subject: Re: THE HUSBAND STORE Reply with quote

Well they wouldn't feature me at that store, I got a job, make little money, and the little I make I'm already lined up to buy "toys", I only like kids I don't love them they can be annoying at times, I'm not that good looking, and I do not do housework unless I absolutely have to like I do now living on my own. Laughing

Dimitri

_________________
A thousand hills, but no birds in flight, ten thousand paths, with no people's tracks. A lonely boat, a straw-hatted old man, fishing alone in the cold river snow.
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gelandangan
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 07, 2006
Posts: 5864
Location: Sydney Australia

PostPosted: Thu Sep 13, 2007 7:22 pm    Post subject: Re: THE HUSBAND STORE Reply with quote

Dimitri wrote:
Well they wouldn't feature me at that store, I got a job, make little money, and the little I make I'm already lined up to buy "toys", I only like kids I don't love them they can be annoying at times, I'm not that good looking, and I do not do housework unless I absolutely have to like I do now living on my own. Laughing

Dimitri

Hmm.. Sounds like you are the "Ground Floor" material Dimitri ... Shocked Very Happy

_________________
A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.

The government I trust .. is my .45-70 Government.

Do - Not try!


gelandangan.weebly.com/
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Vince
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13605
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Thu Sep 13, 2007 10:56 pm    Post subject: Re: THE HUSBAND STORE Reply with quote

gelandangan wrote:
Hey Vince,
whereabout is this new wife store in Sydney?
Wonder if they take trade-ins?


Uh Oh.. the wife's coming.... Hiding

Mate, if I was you I wouldn't be hidin'.....too late for that.....I'd be burnin' boot leather ..... you wouldn't be able to see me for leather smoke.

Laughing Laughing

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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Bushmaster
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 10548
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Fri Sep 14, 2007 7:29 am    Post subject: Re: THE HUSBAND STORE Reply with quote

Remember Big D. It wasn't too long ago you were a kid...

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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rdncktink
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Mar 02, 2007
Posts: 476
Location: Hwaseong, South Korea

PostPosted: Fri Sep 14, 2007 8:38 am    Post subject: Re: THE HUSBAND STORE Reply with quote

Bushmaster wrote:
Remember Big D. It wasn't too long ago you were a kid...

He still is a kid. But then again I still think I'm a kid. Grown-up starts at 40 or your first kid. Very Happy

_________________
Don't whine how bad your country is until you live in another.
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Dimitri
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Nov 25, 2005
Posts: 5906

PostPosted: Fri Sep 14, 2007 5:21 pm    Post subject: Re: THE HUSBAND STORE Reply with quote

gelandangan wrote:
Hmm.. Sounds like you are the "Ground Floor" material Dimitri ... Shocked Very Happy

More like basement material. Very Happy

Dimitri

_________________
A thousand hills, but no birds in flight, ten thousand paths, with no people's tracks. A lonely boat, a straw-hatted old man, fishing alone in the cold river snow.
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