View previous topic :: View next topic |
Author |
Message |
Elvis Super Member
Joined: Jul 27, 2008 Posts: 9261 Location: south island New Zealand
|
Posted: Sun Sep 25, 2016 1:34 am Post subject: to good not to share |
|
IDIOT SIGHTING:
We had to have the garage door repaired.
The repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener.
I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.
He shook his head and said, 'You need a 1/4 horsepower...'
I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4 and he said, 'NOOO, it's not. Four is larger than two.'
We haven't used that repairman since. Happened in Ipswich , Qld.
IDIOT SIGHTING :
I live in a semi rural area.
We recently had a new neighbour call the local council P & W office to request the removal of the WOMBAT CROSSING sign on our road.
The reason: 'Too many wombats are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'
Story from Collingwood, Melbourne.
IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE:
My daughter went to a Mexican takeaway and ordered a taco.
She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.'
He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.
From Bankstown , Sydney .
IDIOT SIGHTING:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked,
'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?'
To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?'
He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'
This happened in Elizabeth S.A.
IDIOT SIGHTING:
The pedestrian light on the corner beeps when it's safe to cross the street.
I was crossing with an 'intellectually challenged' co-worker of mine.
She asked if I knew what the beeper was for.
I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.
Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!'
She is a government employee in Adelaide P.O.
IDIOT SIGHTING:
When my husband and I arrived at a car dealership to pick up our car after a service, we were told the keys had been locked in it.
We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver’s side door.
As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.
‘Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'its open!'
His reply, 'I know. I already did that side.'
STAY ALERT! They walk among us...not all are locked up
_________________ You shot it You pluck it !
Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers! |
|
Back to top |
|
|
Elvis Super Member
Joined: Jul 27, 2008 Posts: 9261 Location: south island New Zealand
|
Posted: Sun Sep 25, 2016 1:39 am Post subject: Re: to good not to share |
|
IDIOT SIGHTING.
My daughter and I went through the McDonald's driveway window and I gave the cashier a $5 note.
Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her 25c..
She said, 'you gave me too much money.'
I said, ‘Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar coin back.'
She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request.
I did so, and he handed me back the 25c, and said 'We're sorry but we don’t do that kind of thing.'
The cashier then proceeded to give me back 75 cents in change.
_________________ You shot it You pluck it !
Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers! |
|
Back to top |
|
|
Vince Site Admin
Joined: May 25, 2005 Posts: 15725 Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA
|
Posted: Sun Sep 25, 2016 2:12 am Post subject: Re: to good not to share |
|
_________________ Cheers, Vince
Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)
Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.
"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done) |
|
Back to top |
|
|
Bushmaster Super Member
Joined: Jun 12, 2005 Posts: 11395 Location: Ava, Missouri
|
Posted: Sun Sep 25, 2016 7:14 am Post subject: Re: to good not to share |
|
And they breath too...Wasting perfectly good oxygen.
_________________ I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...
DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote... |
|
Back to top |
|
|
gelandangan Super Member
Joined: May 07, 2006 Posts: 6401 Location: Sydney Australia
|
Posted: Sun Sep 25, 2016 3:05 pm Post subject: Re: to good not to share |
|
Scary
These are the people that supposedly pay for our pension.
_________________ A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.
Do - Not try!
gelandangan.weebly.com/ |
|
Back to top |
|
|
tikkat3 Super Member
Joined: Jul 30, 2006 Posts: 800
|
Posted: Mon Sep 26, 2016 12:52 am Post subject: Re: to good not to share |
|
Hey, whats going on here Elvis
Your Idiot sightings are a bit to close to home[mine] and to far away from yours
|
|
Back to top |
|
|
Vince Site Admin
Joined: May 25, 2005 Posts: 15725 Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA
|
Posted: Tue Sep 27, 2016 4:13 am Post subject: Re: to good not to share |
|
tikkat3 wrote: |
Hey, whats going on here Elvis
Your Idiot sightings are a bit to close to home[mine] and to far away from yours |
_________________ Cheers, Vince
Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)
Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.
"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done) |
|
Back to top |
|
|
dhc4ever Super Member
Joined: May 26, 2011 Posts: 2944 Location: Ipswich, Queensland Australia
|
Posted: Wed Sep 28, 2016 1:17 pm Post subject: Re: to good not to share |
|
Give it some time and we will find the un zud edition.
I think "idiot" translates to the same thing in both dialects.
_________________ Pete
Dont do anything you wont like explaining to the paramedics.............. |
|
Back to top |
|
|
Elvis Super Member
Joined: Jul 27, 2008 Posts: 9261 Location: south island New Zealand
|
Posted: Thu Sep 29, 2016 1:22 am Post subject: Re: to good not to share |
|
I see the last one quite a bit as SWMBO is great at giving the extra coinage......... love it even more when power goes out and cash registers are down..... apperently they dont teach how to count anymore.
_________________ You shot it You pluck it !
Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers! |
|
Back to top |
|
|
DallanC Site Admin
Joined: Jan 18, 2005 Posts: 3572 Location: Utah
|
Posted: Thu Sep 29, 2016 10:55 am Post subject: Re: to good not to share |
|
gelandangan wrote: |
Scary
These are the people that supposedly pay for our pension. |
Scarier is they get to vote in elections too.
We have a McDonalds here in town that at the first drive through window it has a sign in braille that reads: "Please pull forward to next window"
o.O
-DallanC
|
|
Back to top |
|
|
|