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Vince Site Admin
Joined: May 25, 2005 Posts: 15725 Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA
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Posted: Thu Jul 23, 2015 6:19 am Post subject: Marriage License Office Clerk |
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"Good morning. We want to apply for a marriage license."
"Names?", said the clerk.
"Tim and Jim Jones."
"Jones?? Are you related?? I see a resemblance."
"Yes, we're brothers."
"Brothers?? You can't get married."
"Why not?? Aren't you giving marriage licenses to same gender couples?"
"Yes, thousands. But we haven't had any siblings. That's incest!"
"Incest?" No, we are not gay."
"Not gay?? Then why do you want to get married?"
"For the financial benefits, of course. And we do love each other. Besides, we don't have any other prospects."
"But we're issuing marriage licenses to gay and lesbian couples who've claim they'd been denied equal protection under law.
If you are not gay, you can get married to a woman."
"Wait a minute. A gay man has the same right to marry a woman as I have.
But just because I'm straight doesn't mean I want to marry a woman. I want to marry Jim."
"And I want to marry Tim, Are you going to discriminate against us just because we are not gay?"
"All right, all right. I'll give you your license. Next."
"Hi. We are here to get married."
"Names?"
"John Smith, Jane James, Robert Green, and June Johnson."
"Who wants to marry whom?"
"We all want to marry each other."
"But there are four of you!"
"That's right. You see, we're all bisexual. I love Jane and Robert, Jane loves me and June, June loves Robert and Jane, and Robert loves June and me. All of us getting married together is the only way that we can express our sexual preferences in a marital relationship."
"But we've only been granting licenses to gay and lesbian couples."
"So you're discriminating against bisexuals!"
"No, it's just that, well, the traditional idea of marriage is that it's just for couples."
"Since when are you standing on tradition?"
"Well, I mean, you have to draw the line somewhere."
"Who says?? There's no logical reason to limit marriage to couples. The more the better. Besides, we demand our rights! The mayor says the constitution guarantees equal protection under the law. Give us a marriage license!"
"All right, all right. Next."
"Hello, I'd like a marriage license."
"In what names?"
"David Anderson."
"And the other man?"
"That's all. I want to marry myself."
"Marry yourself?? What do you mean?"
"Well, my psychiatrist says I have a dual personality, so I want to marry the two together.
Maybe I can file a joint income-tax return."
"That does it!? I quit!!? You people are making a mockery of marriage!!"
...Don't laugh, it’s just a matter of time.
_________________ Cheers, Vince
Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)
Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.
"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done) |
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Bushmaster Super Member
Joined: Jun 12, 2005 Posts: 11395 Location: Ava, Missouri
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Posted: Thu Jul 23, 2015 8:13 am Post subject: Re: Marriage License Office Clerk |
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Yup...And some woman or man will be wanting to marry their dog...
_________________ I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...
DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote... |
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Tremblay Super Member
Joined: Oct 08, 2007 Posts: 2656 Location: Malta, Montana
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Posted: Thu Jul 23, 2015 9:41 am Post subject: Re: Marriage License Office Clerk |
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Ain't it the truth!
_________________ Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it. - Mark
Twain
Never argue with a stupid person ,cause they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience. Mark Twwain |
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gelandangan Super Member
Joined: May 07, 2006 Posts: 6401 Location: Sydney Australia
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Posted: Thu Jul 23, 2015 2:21 pm Post subject: Re: Marriage License Office Clerk |
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Bushmaster wrote: |
Yup...And some woman or man will be wanting to marry their dog... |
I thought they already did that in Californi-cating-a..
_________________ A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.
Do - Not try!
gelandangan.weebly.com/ |
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Elvis Super Member
Joined: Jul 27, 2008 Posts: 9261 Location: south island New Zealand
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Posted: Thu Jul 23, 2015 10:59 pm Post subject: Re: Marriage License Office Clerk |
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sad but true....
_________________ You shot it You pluck it !
Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers! |
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lesterg3 Super Member
Joined: Nov 30, 2008 Posts: 1328 Location: Dixie
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PaulS Super Member
Joined: Feb 18, 2006 Posts: 4330 Location: South-Eastern Washington - the State
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Posted: Fri Jul 24, 2015 6:16 pm Post subject: Re: Marriage License Office Clerk |
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Those folks at the license bureau are kings of their domains. They aren't nearly that easy.
_________________ Paul
__________________
Speer, Lyman, Hodgdon, Sierra, and Hornady = reliable loading data
So and So's pages on the internet = NOT reliable loading data
Always check data against manuals
NEVER exceed maximum listed loads |
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multigauge Rookie Member
Joined: Apr 16, 2008 Posts: 24
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Posted: Sun Jul 26, 2015 6:07 pm Post subject: Re: Marriage License Office Clerk |
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The lawyers haven't figured this one out yet. An elderly widower on his deathbed marries his grandson. His entire estate and fortune passes to his grandson tax-free per the IRS code since he is now a spouse. There is now no inheritance tax for that "family."
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Bushmaster Super Member
Joined: Jun 12, 2005 Posts: 11395 Location: Ava, Missouri
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Posted: Sun Jul 26, 2015 8:05 pm Post subject: Re: Marriage License Office Clerk |
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Hummm...Sneaky idea.
_________________ I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...
DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote... |
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dhc4ever Super Member
Joined: May 26, 2011 Posts: 2944 Location: Ipswich, Queensland Australia
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Posted: Sun Jul 26, 2015 8:29 pm Post subject: Re: Marriage License Office Clerk |
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I like it.
This is what will be the deathnell of the gay marriage idea, thieves in irs wont like a loop hole like that.
_________________ Pete
Dont do anything you wont like explaining to the paramedics.............. |
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PaulS Super Member
Joined: Feb 18, 2006 Posts: 4330 Location: South-Eastern Washington - the State
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Posted: Sun Jul 26, 2015 10:45 pm Post subject: Re: Marriage License Office Clerk |
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I like the concept... not sure about the execution though.
_________________ Paul
__________________
Speer, Lyman, Hodgdon, Sierra, and Hornady = reliable loading data
So and So's pages on the internet = NOT reliable loading data
Always check data against manuals
NEVER exceed maximum listed loads |
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Elvis Super Member
Joined: Jul 27, 2008 Posts: 9261 Location: south island New Zealand
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Posted: Mon Jul 27, 2015 12:21 am Post subject: Re: Marriage License Office Clerk |
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_________________ You shot it You pluck it !
Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers! |
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44marty Super Member
Joined: Mar 20, 2009 Posts: 775 Location: Cheshire, MA; USA
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Posted: Sat Sep 26, 2015 11:27 pm Post subject: Re: Marriage License Office Clerk |
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Bushmaster wrote: |
Yup...And some woman or man will be wanting to marry their dog... |
Might have an issue with the dog's age (dogs over 18 yrs old are hard to come by - and way too ornery and ugly to marry)
_________________ _____________________________________
The strength of the wolf is in the pack; the strength of the pack is in the wolf. ~ R. Kipling
I LOVE YOU, LADY LUCK !!! |
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PaulS Super Member
Joined: Feb 18, 2006 Posts: 4330 Location: South-Eastern Washington - the State
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Posted: Mon Sep 28, 2015 12:08 am Post subject: Re: Marriage License Office Clerk |
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I like dogs a lot more than some people.. I never wanted to marry one though. They won't shave their legs or underarms. Might as well marry a French farmers daughter.
wait... I don't think that came out quite the way I was thinking it.
_________________ Paul
__________________
Speer, Lyman, Hodgdon, Sierra, and Hornady = reliable loading data
So and So's pages on the internet = NOT reliable loading data
Always check data against manuals
NEVER exceed maximum listed loads |
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dhc4ever Super Member
Joined: May 26, 2011 Posts: 2944 Location: Ipswich, Queensland Australia
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Posted: Mon Sep 28, 2015 12:35 am Post subject: Re: Marriage License Office Clerk |
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Oh yes, it did....
_________________ Pete
Dont do anything you wont like explaining to the paramedics.............. |
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