HuntingNut
HuntingNut
   Login or Register
HomeCommunity ForumsPhoto AlbumsRegister
     
 

User Info

Welcome Anonymous


Membership:
Latest: patrad69
New Today: 0
New Yesterday: 0
Overall: 13133

People Online:
Members: 1
Visitors: 133
BOT: 1
Total: 135
Who Is Where:
 Members:
01: Aloysius > Home
 Visitors:
01: Forums
02: Photo Albums
03: Forums
04: Home
05: Forums
06: Your Account
07: Photo Albums
08: Forums
09: Forums
10: Your Account
11: Photo Albums
12: News
13: Forums
14: Forums
15: Home
16: Home
17: Forums
18: Forums
19: Forums
20: Home
21: Your Account
22: Forums
23: Forums
24: Photo Albums
25: Forums
26: Home
27: Your Account
28: Photo Albums
29: Your Account
30: Forums
31: Home
32: Your Account
33: Forums
34: Forums
35: Forums
36: Photo Albums
37: Home
38: Forums
39: Forums
40: Photo Albums
41: Photo Albums
42: Home
43: Forums
44: News
45: Forums
46: Home
47: Forums
48: Forums
49: Forums
50: Home
51: Home
52: News
53: Forums
54: Forums
55: Forums
56: Home
57: Home
58: Your Account
59: Forums
60: Home
61: Photo Albums
62: Forums
63: Home
64: Forums
65: Home
66: Forums
67: Home
68: Forums
69: Your Account
70: Forums
71: Photo Albums
72: Home
73: Forums
74: Forums
75: Your Account
76: Forums
77: Home
78: Forums
79: Forums
80: Forums
81: Home
82: Forums
83: Forums
84: Forums
85: Home
86: Forums
87: Home
88: Home
89: Forums
90: Photo Albums
91: Photo Albums
92: Home
93: Your Account
94: Photo Albums
95: Home
96: Home
97: Forums
98: Home
99: Forums
100: Forums
101: Photo Albums
102: Home
103: Home
104: Forums
105: Photo Albums
106: Your Account
107: Home
108: Forums
109: Photo Albums
110: Home
111: Forums
112: Photo Albums
113: Forums
114: Home
115: Forums
116: Forums
117: Photo Albums
118: Home
119: Home
120: Forums
121: Forums
122: Photo Albums
123: Forums
124: Your Account
125: Forums
126: Home
127: Home
128: Forums
129: Forums
130: Home
131: Photo Albums
132: Forums
133: Forums
  BOT:
01: Home

Staff Online:

No staff members are online!
 

Coppermine Stats
Photo Albums
 Albums: 308
 Pictures: 2452
  · Views: 825104
  · Votes: 1316
  · Comments: 86
 

An Actual 1955 Good Housekeeping Article
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
Go to page 1, 2  Next
Post new topic   Reply to topic   Printer Friendly Page    Forum Index » Jokes & Humor

View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
Vince
Site Admin
Site Admin


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 15725
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Wed Nov 28, 2007 2:03 am    Post subject: An Actual 1955 Good Housekeeping Article Reply with quote

The Good Wife's Guide

1. Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favourite) is part of the warm welcome needed

2. Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you’ll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.

3. Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

4. Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives.

5. Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper etc and then run a dustcloth over the tables

6. Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

7. Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children’s hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair and, if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimise all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.

8. Be happy to see him

9. Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him

10. Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first remember his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

11. Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax

12. Your goal: Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquillity, where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit

13. Don’t greet him with complaints and problems

14 Don’t complain if he’s late home for diner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.

15. Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him

16. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice

17. Don’t ask him questions about his actions or question his judgements or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.

18. A good wife always knows her place


"If you can't make it better, you can laugh at it."
- Erma Bombeck

OK ladies, I'm officially Non Contactable. Hiding If you feel it necessary I can be found somewhere between The Black Stump and The Back of Beyond.

(PS: I'm really in Ward 15, Bed 97, at the local hospital. The Chief of Staff wasn't in agreeance with my comments. Shiner )

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
Back to top
View user's profile AIM Address MSN Messenger Yahoo Messenger Photo Gallery
gelandangan
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 07, 2006
Posts: 6401
Location: Sydney Australia

PostPosted: Wed Nov 28, 2007 2:22 am    Post subject: Re: An Actual 1955 Good Housekeeping Article Reply with quote

Brave.. very brave Very Happy Very Happy

_________________
A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.

Do - Not try!


gelandangan.weebly.com/
Back to top
View user's profile Visit poster's website
Bushmaster
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 11395
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Wed Nov 28, 2007 9:11 am    Post subject: Re: An Actual 1955 Good Housekeeping Article Reply with quote

All good things for wives to live by...(wife's in Oregon and won't read this)

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
Back to top
View user's profile
jbird22cal
Member
Member


Joined: Dec 13, 2006
Posts: 67
Location: Baraboo, WI

PostPosted: Wed Dec 05, 2007 8:44 am    Post subject: Re: An Actual 1955 Good Housekeeping Article Reply with quote

Though I am now single, fom my latest experiences, I would be happy with number 8. "Be happy to see him" That's always a load off coming home. "Aim small, miss small."

_________________
"There, now it's better than new." - Harley Smith

"A fear of weapons is a sign of retarded sexual and emotional maturity." - Sigmund Freud

" I am not trying to be better than you... I'm not even trying to be Holier than you... I'm trying to be better and Holier than I was yesterday!" - jbird22cal
Back to top
View user's profile Yahoo Messenger
patrick
Rookie Member
Rookie Member


Joined: Jun 18, 2007
Posts: 4
Location: texas

PostPosted: Tue Dec 11, 2007 11:39 am    Post subject: Re: An Actual 1955 Good Housekeeping Article Reply with quote

for a lot of women, would say that you must have a death wish
Back to top
View user's profile
Dimitri
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Nov 25, 2005
Posts: 5947

PostPosted: Thu Dec 13, 2007 8:41 pm    Post subject: Re: An Actual 1955 Good Housekeeping Article Reply with quote

John Wayne wrote:
“Women have the right to work wherever they want, as long as they have the dinner ready when you get home”

Very Happy

Dimitri

_________________
A thousand hills, but no birds in flight, ten thousand paths, with no people's tracks. A lonely boat, a straw-hatted old man, fishing alone in the cold river snow.
Back to top
View user's profile Photo Gallery
rdncktink
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Mar 02, 2007
Posts: 476
Location: Hwaseong, South Korea

PostPosted: Thu Dec 13, 2007 11:53 pm    Post subject: Re: An Actual 1955 Good Housekeeping Article Reply with quote

Sniper Pistol Shooting Fighting Flame Haha

I didn't know that good housekeeping had a comedy section. Or would that be fantasy section. Though the second one is good.
Quote::
2. Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you’ll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.
And those 15 minutes is also to take some really good meds so we can deal with all of his Censored oh sorry "issues" that he will dump all over us.
Quote::
7. Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children’s hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair and, if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimise all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.
This isn't so much for him as for her. She needs the time off too and well if he thinks it's for him he can just keep thinking that.
Quote::
8. Be happy to see him

9. Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him

10. Listen to him.
Well this might lose my right to be in the ticketed off womens group but I AGREE with these. Not all of 10 but the first line at least. Hay you've both had long days be happy to see each other. And if you listen to him he better listen to you too.

_________________
Don't whine how bad your country is until you live in another.
Back to top
View user's profile AIM Address Yahoo Messenger
Vince
Site Admin
Site Admin


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 15725
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Fri Dec 14, 2007 12:01 am    Post subject: Re: An Actual 1955 Good Housekeeping Article Reply with quote

scared scared Hiding

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
Back to top
View user's profile AIM Address MSN Messenger Yahoo Messenger Photo Gallery
Bushmaster
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 11395
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Fri Dec 14, 2007 8:37 am    Post subject: Re: An Actual 1955 Good Housekeeping Article Reply with quote

As an American Chauvenist Male...I expect women to keep their place...At least a 1/2 step behind me...And NEVER ahead of me...See Vince...Told you I was brave. ROFL Fencing

Oh By The Way...Tink. You know why men hold doors open for women to pass through first? Because we don't want to meet the cave bear first...Sacrifice the female...Now I'll hide... Hiding

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
Back to top
View user's profile
Weinbender
Member
Member


Joined: Sep 13, 2007
Posts: 226
Location: Manitoba, Canada

PostPosted: Fri Dec 14, 2007 9:10 am    Post subject: Re: An Actual 1955 Good Housekeeping Article Reply with quote

Bushmaster wrote:
As an American Chauvenist Male...I expect women to keep their place...At least a 1/2 step behind me...And NEVER ahead of me...See Vince...Told you I was brave. ROFL Fencing

Oh By The Way...Tink. You know why men hold doors open for women to pass through first? Because we don't want to meet the cave bear first...Sacrifice the female...Now I'll hide... Hiding

VERY VERY BRAVE!!!! Shocked

_________________
"If it dont kick like a mule, it aint worth shooting"
Back to top
View user's profile Send e-mail
rdncktink
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Mar 02, 2007
Posts: 476
Location: Hwaseong, South Korea

PostPosted: Fri Dec 14, 2007 11:09 am    Post subject: Re: An Actual 1955 Good Housekeeping Article Reply with quote

Quote::
You know why men hold doors open for women to pass through first? Because we don't want to meet the cave bear first...Sacrifice the female
Yup that's us - cannon fodder.
And walking a step behind why not that way we can make faces and check out your tushy. Very Happy
Plus by staying ahead of us you take the bullet first.

_________________
Don't whine how bad your country is until you live in another.
Back to top
View user's profile AIM Address Yahoo Messenger
Bushmaster
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 11395
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Fri Dec 14, 2007 11:26 am    Post subject: Re: An Actual 1955 Good Housekeeping Article Reply with quote

Hummm...You LIKE my tush, huh.... Very Happy

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
Back to top
View user's profile
rdncktink
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Mar 02, 2007
Posts: 476
Location: Hwaseong, South Korea

PostPosted: Fri Dec 14, 2007 4:50 pm    Post subject: Re: An Actual 1955 Good Housekeeping Article Reply with quote

Bushmaster wrote:
Hummm...You LIKE my tush, huh.... Very Happy
Help Knew I should've worded that different and anything I try now will dig the hole deeper. Oh well lets just leave that one there and move on.

_________________
Don't whine how bad your country is until you live in another.
Back to top
View user's profile AIM Address Yahoo Messenger
Vince
Site Admin
Site Admin


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 15725
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Fri Dec 14, 2007 11:50 pm    Post subject: Re: An Actual 1955 Good Housekeeping Article Reply with quote

Yep...yer right Bushy...that is a very brave statement....especially since young Tinks just may have a gun handy.

No doubt about it...you guys crack me up. We got the guys walking ahead of the wimmen...of course...the wimmen checkin' out the guy's tush (I assume that means butt) then denying that they are oggling the guys....where will it all end.
Laughing Laughing ROFL Haha Haha

I'm still trying to work out what the "cave bear" is though.

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)


Last edited by Vince on Fri Dec 14, 2007 11:56 pm; edited 1 time in total
Back to top
View user's profile AIM Address MSN Messenger Yahoo Messenger Photo Gallery
Morax
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Dec 18, 2006
Posts: 618
Location: Pittsburgh Pa

PostPosted: Sat Dec 15, 2007 8:46 am    Post subject: Re: An Actual 1955 Good Housekeeping Article Reply with quote

see i open the door for the wife cause she never takes the 1/2 second to read the PUSH/PULL sign on them and bounces into them...
Back to top
View user's profile
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic   Printer Friendly Page    Forum Index » Jokes & Humor
Page 1 of 2
All times are GMT - 7 Hours
Go to page 1, 2  Next



Jump to:  


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
You cannot attach files in this forum
You cannot download files in this forum


Valid CSS! Valid HTML 4.01!
Click to check if this page is realy HTML 4.01 compliant for speed :)

All logos and trademarks in this site are property of HuntingNut.com.
The comments are property of their posters, all the rest © 2011 by HuntingNut.com
Interactive software released under GNU GPL, Code Credits, Privacy Policy

.: Upgraded to DragonFly 9.2 by *Dizfunkshunal* :.