These are actual comments made by South Carolina Troopers that were taken off their car videos:


1. "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through."

2. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."

3. "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document." (My Favorite)

4. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

5. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you." (LOVE IT)

6. "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"

7. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"

8. "Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

9. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

10. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."

11. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

12. "In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC." ( National Crime Information Center )

13. "Just how big were those 'two beers' you say you had?"

14. "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."

15. "I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."

AND THE WINNER IS....

16. "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."

Cheers, Vince

Good one Slim.

# 3 ------tea down the front again,

LOL !! That should not be allowed ,it hurts their selfesteme

Simply awesome, I needed that laugh.

Brilliant, and thanks! I'm pretty much on their side.

Georges in Alberta
If you won't stand behind our troops, then stand in front of them...

wiersy111, I see you change you avatar. They wear cowboy hats in Minnesota or are you a transplant?

Great one SlimJ! I had to send that one to friends.

HI Yorg! Didn't notice you before. Have a beer on me!

Wiersy lovely hat, lovely wife, very down-home photo. By the way are you retired now?


Suz

I've seen this one before and have now used a couple of the lines to wind crims up....priceless!
The traffic complaints and traffic stops for sure.

Radar

Hahahaha-ooops! I just spit up a little.

I'm printing this up and takin' it with, tapin' it on the back of my reg's....and using next time I get yanked...maybe he'll laugh so hard he'll let me off!

stovey, hope you don't get to use it too often.

Since I sold the last CBR, things have settled down. Too many kook's were stackin' in the canyons. That brought the cops. I got popped a couple times for speeding draggin' knees...that was that. Fun's over. Sold my street toys. kinda miss the old days at times...not sure how many I've had over the years, but, this was my last canyon runner.

Motorcycles are great! Fighter jets are another order of magnitude greater (if someone else is paying for the gas) and with jets, speed is life!! We all have to come down to earth some day. It will pass. My GTO, reloading, and long range shooting now help me find pleasures in life.