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Vince Site Admin
Joined: May 25, 2005 Posts: 15715 Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA
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Posted: Wed Oct 10, 2007 5:05 am Post subject: HUSBAND vs WIFE |
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Wife: "What are you doing?"
Husband : Nothing
Wife : "Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage
certificate for an hour."
Husband : "I was looking for the expiration date."
-- ------------------------------------------------
Wife : "Do you want dinner?"
Husband : "Sure! What are my choices?"
Wife : "Yes and no."
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Wife: "You always carry my photo in your wallet. Why?"
Hubby: "When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I
look at your picture and the problem disappears."
Wife: "You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?"
Hubby: "Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other
problem can there be greater than this one?"
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Stress Reliever Girl: "When we get married, I want to share all
your worries, troubles and lighten your burden."
Boy: "It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any
worries or troubles."
Girl: "Well that's because we aren't married yet."
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Son: "Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told
me to give up my seat to a lady."
Mom: "Well, you have done the right thing."
Son: "But mom, I was sitting on daddy's lap."
________________________________
A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me
if my father hadn't left me a fortune?"
"Honey," the woman replied sweetly, "I'd have married you, NO
MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!"
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Father to son after exam: "Let me see your report card."
Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."
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Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever.
The guy replies: "Thanks for the early warning."
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A wife asked her husband: "What do you like most in me, my
pretty face or my sexy body?"
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: "I like your
sense of humour."
Cheers,
Vince
_________________ Cheers, Vince
Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)
Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.
"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done) |
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Weinbender Member
Joined: Sep 13, 2007 Posts: 226 Location: Manitoba, Canada
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Bushmaster Super Member
Joined: Jun 12, 2005 Posts: 11391 Location: Ava, Missouri
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Posted: Wed Oct 10, 2007 8:42 am Post subject: Re: HUSBAND vs WIFE |
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Weinbender...It's not that he has the funniest jokes as much as it's because he's married...Been there. Done that...
_________________ I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...
DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote... |
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Weinbender Member
Joined: Sep 13, 2007 Posts: 226 Location: Manitoba, Canada
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tracker Super Member
Joined: Nov 08, 2006 Posts: 1175 Location: Manitoba, Canada
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Bushmaster Super Member
Joined: Jun 12, 2005 Posts: 11391 Location: Ava, Missouri
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Posted: Wed Oct 10, 2007 11:19 am Post subject: Re: HUSBAND vs WIFE |
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Tell me Tracker...Does Keetoowah know about this?
_________________ I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...
DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote... |
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tracker Super Member
Joined: Nov 08, 2006 Posts: 1175 Location: Manitoba, Canada
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Posted: Wed Oct 10, 2007 12:28 pm Post subject: Re: HUSBAND vs WIFE |
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_________________ "If God hadn't meant for man to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them out of meat!" |
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Bushmaster Super Member
Joined: Jun 12, 2005 Posts: 11391 Location: Ava, Missouri
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Posted: Wed Oct 10, 2007 1:21 pm Post subject: Re: HUSBAND vs WIFE |
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Uh-huh...I thought so...She didn't know...
_________________ I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...
DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote... |
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tracker Super Member
Joined: Nov 08, 2006 Posts: 1175 Location: Manitoba, Canada
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Bushmaster Super Member
Joined: Jun 12, 2005 Posts: 11391 Location: Ava, Missouri
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Posted: Wed Oct 10, 2007 1:35 pm Post subject: Re: HUSBAND vs WIFE |
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_________________ I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...
DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote... |
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tracker Super Member
Joined: Nov 08, 2006 Posts: 1175 Location: Manitoba, Canada
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tracker Super Member
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shrpshtrjoe Super Red Neck Member
Joined: Jan 26, 2005 Posts: 2965 Location: Maryland
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Vince Site Admin
Joined: May 25, 2005 Posts: 15715 Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA
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Posted: Wed Oct 10, 2007 6:35 pm Post subject: Re: HUSBAND vs WIFE |
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Weinbender wrote: |
Hahah! I see, so my best bet is to just run from any sort of relationship with a female? |
Goodness mate...NO....you just have to be careful....VERY CAREFUL. Marriage is a great institution....with the emphasis on institution.
tracker wrote: |
Tippy-toeing away quietly just before sun up is the preferred method actually |
And if your arm is trapped beneath "something"...chew it off quietly to slip away.
tracker wrote: |
Should've kept my damn trap shut, you're enjoying this waaaaaaaaay too much |
Ah, there's nothing like helping a mate out. I'm proud of ya Bushy.
Cheers, Vince
_________________ Cheers, Vince
Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)
Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.
"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done) |
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tracker Super Member
Joined: Nov 08, 2006 Posts: 1175 Location: Manitoba, Canada
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