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Telephone rings…
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Vince
Site Admin
Site Admin


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 15091
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Mon Sep 06, 2021 5:39 pm    Post subject: Telephone rings… Reply with quote

At dawn the telephone rings, "Hello, Senor Rod?
This is Ernesto, the caretaker at your country house."
"Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?"
"Um, I am just calling to advise you, Senor Rod, that your Dog, he is dead."
"My Dog? Dead? The one that won the International competition?"
"Si, Senor, that's the one."
"Damn! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that Dog. What did he die from?"
"From eating the rotten meat, Senor Rod."
"Rotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten meat?"
"Nobody, Senor. He ate the meat of the dead horse."
"Dead horse? What dead horse?"
"The thoroughbred, Senor Rod."
"My prize thoroughbred is dead?"
"Yes, Senor Rod, he died from all that work pulling the water cart."
"Are you insane? What water cart?"
"The one we used to put out the fire, Senor."
"Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?"
"The one at your house, Senor! A candle fell and the curtains caught on fire."
"What the hell? Are you saying that my mansion is destroyed because of a candle?!"
"Yes, Senor Rod."
"But there's electricity at the house! What was the candle for?"
"For the funeral, Senor Rod."
"WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL??!!"
"Your wife's, Senor Rod. She showed up very late one night and I thought she was a thief, so I shot her with your new Kreighoff Limited Edition Custom Gold Engraved Trap Special with the custom Wangi Exhibition Grade Stock."
SILENCE.................. LONG SILENCE..............VERY LONG SILENCE.
"Ernesto, if you scratched that shotgun, you're in deep trouble."

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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Bushmaster
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 11185
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Tue Sep 07, 2021 7:44 am    Post subject: Re: Telephone rings… Reply with quote

Sounds like Rod is having a bad day. Ernesto may be out of a job.

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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Vince
Site Admin
Site Admin


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 15091
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Tue Sep 07, 2021 4:33 pm    Post subject: Re: Telephone rings… Reply with quote

Bushmaster wrote:
Sounds like Rod is having a bad day. Ernesto may be out of a job.

…but only if he scratched the shotgun mate.

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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