#1: That you Tonto? Author: Suzanne, Location: Eugene, OregonPosted: Tue Oct 27, 2009 7:40 pm ---- The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert. After they got their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep. Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says,
"Kemo Sabe, look towards sky, what you see?"
The Lone Ranger replies, "I see millions of stars."
"What that tell you?" asked Tonto.
The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says, "Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning. Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What's it tell you, Tonto?"
Tonto is silent for a moment, then says, "Kemo Sabe, you dumber then buffalo chip. Someone has stolen tent."
Two Cheyenne guys on relocation spied a sign in a cafe window that said "hot-dogs". Thinking they were some other kind of dogs, they ordered two to go, and went to a park to have lunch. The first Cheyenne guy looked inside his sack, and then threw it down in disgust.
"What part did you get?" asked his buddy.
A New Mexico State Trooper pulled over a van on I-25 about ten miles north of "The Pit". When the trooper asked the driver why he was speeding the driver answered that he was a juggler and he was on his way to Sandia Casino to do a show that night and didn't want to be late. The trooper told the driver he was fascinated by the juggling, and if the driver would do a little juggling for him, he wouldn't give him a ticket. The driver told the trooper that he had sent all of his equipment on ahead and that he didn't have anything to juggle. The trooper told him that he had some flares in the trunk of his squad car and asked if he could juggle them. The juggler stated that he could, so the trooper got three flares, lit them and handed them to the juggler. While the man was doing his juggling act, an old pickup with expired plates pulled up behind the squad car. An Indian who was obviously intoxicated, staggered out and watched the performance briefly. He shook his head, went over to the squad car, opened the door and got in. The trooper observed the man doing this and went over to his squad car opened the back door and asked the drunk what he thought he was doing?! The drunk replied...."Sha-Bro....might as well take me to jail....There's no way in hell I can pass THAT test!!!!"
#2: Re: That you Tonto? Author: Pumpkinslinger, Location: NC foothillsPosted: Tue Oct 27, 2009 10:29 pm ---- Now are those jokes "PC"...
LOL! Very good Suz!
#3: Re: That you Tonto? Author: Suzanne, Location: Eugene, OregonPosted: Wed Oct 28, 2009 8:30 am ---- Only where I come from (blush), actually they're from an Indian web site, there's a lot of reservation type jokes there that not all would understand. For instance (but these are rather clear), some definitions;
Triballistic (tribal ISS tik):
to become irrational and incoherent upon hearing the latest self-serving, short-sighted and illogical decision made by the local tribal council.
Rezercise (REZ er size):
the involuntary health regime of walking everywhere on the rez since your Indian car broke down for good.
Fordrum (FORD drum):
the instrument used for singing purposes when a regular drum is not available; usually the dented hood of a one-eyed Ford.
Frybreadth (FRY bredth):
a unit a measurement based on the standard size of a piece of auntie's frybread.
AlterNative (alter NAY TIV):
an individual who was born and raised in the non-Indian culture but recently "discovered" a "hidden" Indian ancestor so now uses pithy Indian phrases. Assumes a name such as Laughing Rainbow, White Wolf or Dreams of Eagles. Calls all Indian people Brother and Sister and wears genuine Hong Kong beadwork; usually found in the East and West coast region but had documented sightings in other regions as well.
Councilmenopause (cown sil MEN oh paws):
a disorder characterized by hot flashes, profuse sweating, impairment of speech and loss of memory; normally occurs only to tribal councilmen when cornered by an angry tribal member or constituent.
Disunderstanding (DISS under stand ing):
when white people think that they understand why tribes and individual Indians are the way they are, but attribute any and all behavior to the culture or the race.