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#1: Married life. Author: gelandangan, Location: Sydney Australia

Posted: Fri Jun 01, 2018 6:31 pm
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A couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies. So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back."

Where are you going, Coochy Coo?" asked the wife.
"I'm going to the bar, Pretty Face. I'm going to have a beer."
The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?" She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer -- brands from 12 different countries including Germany, Holland, Japan, Czech Republic, etc.

The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, "Yes, Lollipop... but at the bar... You know... they have frozen glasses."
He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying, "You want a frozen glass, Puppy Face?" She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that chunks of ice were forming out of the air on it.

The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, Tootsie Roll, but at the bar they have those hors d'oeuvres. I won't be long. I'll be right back. I promise. OK?"
"You want hors d'oeuvres, Poochie Pooh?" She opened the oven and took out several kinds of hot, home-made hors d'oeuvres.

"But my sweet honey... at the bar.... you know there's swearing, dirty words and all that...."
"You want dirty words, Cutie Pie? Fine! Sit your ass down, shut the hell up, drink your beer in your frozen mug, and eat your hors d' oeuvres because your married ass isn't going to a damned bar! Got it, jackass?"

#2: Re: Married life. Author: Vince, Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

Posted: Fri Jun 01, 2018 7:44 pm
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Haha

#3: Re: Married life. Author: dhc4ever, Location: Ipswich, Queensland Australia

Posted: Sat Jun 02, 2018 1:39 am
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And that's when anullment proceedings started.......

#4: Re: Married life. Author: Bushmaster, Location: Ava, Missouri

Posted: Sat Jun 02, 2018 8:23 am
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Damn possessive jealous women anyway. man can't have no fun.

#5: Re: Married life. Author: slimjim, Location: Fort Worth TX

Posted: Sat Jun 02, 2018 11:12 am
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I think she is great!!!

#6: Re: Married life. Author: PaulS, Location: South-Eastern Washington - the State

Posted: Sat Jun 02, 2018 4:16 pm
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Honey-pie, sit yourself down, on the floor. I'll get you a scrub rush and when you are done here there are dishes to do, the bathroom to clean and the garbage needs to be taken out. I'll be down at the bar until I feel you'll be finished. When I get home and you are finished then we can find something fun to do together, or I can have you clean the attic.

If you don't like it my way then there is always the highway. You can take what you came with and we will call it done. Do you understand snookums?

#7: Re: Married life. Author: slimjim, Location: Fort Worth TX

Posted: Sat Jun 02, 2018 4:23 pm
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PaulS, is this what you told your wife or what she told you? Its hard to tell.

#8: Re: Married life. Author: PaulS, Location: South-Eastern Washington - the State

Posted: Sat Jun 02, 2018 4:28 pm
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I have never had to tell my present wife anything like that. I let her know when I am going and she welcomes me home when I get back. We have yet to have any argument or even a feisty disagreement. She is a very good woman and very submissive.

#9: Re: Married life. Author: Elvis, Location: south island New Zealand

Posted: Sun Jun 03, 2018 6:29 pm
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Im saying NOTHING........

#10: Re: Married life. Author: dhc4ever, Location: Ipswich, Queensland Australia

Posted: Tue Jun 05, 2018 12:36 am
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Not the you usually get the chance............

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