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unashamably pinched from elsewhere as too good not to share

#1: unashamably pinched from elsewhere as too good not to share Author: Elvis, Location: south island New Zealand

Posted: Sat Nov 19, 2016 12:41 pm
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Reasons Not To Match Wits With Children

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, 'When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah'.
The teacher asked, 'What if Jonah went to hell?'
The little girl replied, 'Then you ask him'.

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, 'I'm drawing God.'
The teacher paused and said, 'But no one knows what God looks like.'
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, 'They will in a minute.'

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to 'honour' thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, 'Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?'
From the back, one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, 'Thou shall not kill.'

O ne day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, 'Why are some of your hairs white, Mum?'
Her mother replied, 'Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.'
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, 'Mummy, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?'

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
'Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, 'And there's the teacher, she's dead.'

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, 'Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.'
'Yes,' the class said.
'Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?'
A little fellow shouted, 'Cause your feet ain't empty.'

Finally,...

T he children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
'Take only ONE . God is watching.'
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, 'Take all you want. God is watching the apples...'

#2: Re: unashamably pinched from elsewhere as too good not to share Author: Vince, Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

Posted: Sat Nov 19, 2016 2:22 pm
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Never underestimate the guile of a child. Haha

#3: Re: unashamably pinched from elsewhere as too good not to share Author: slimjim, Location: Fort Worth TX

Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2016 1:56 am
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Thanks for sharing this with us, Elvis! It has some good ones!

#4: Re: unashamably pinched from elsewhere as too good not to share Author: dhc4ever, Location: Ipswich, Queensland Australia

Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2016 9:36 am
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Good stuff
Thanks

#5: Re: unashamably pinched from elsewhere as too good not to share Author: gelandangan, Location: Sydney Australia

Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2016 10:41 am
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Very Happy

#6: Re: unashamably pinched from elsewhere as too good not to share Author: stovepipe, Location: Pine, Az.

Posted: Mon Nov 21, 2016 9:04 am
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El Vee! nice AM chuckle mate!

#7: Re: unashamably pinched from elsewhere as too good not to share Author: dhc4ever, Location: Ipswich, Queensland Australia

Posted: Mon Nov 21, 2016 9:30 am
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Stovey,
Put your glasses on and go back an read who the guilty party is.
Subtle hint , he's on the other side of the ditch........

#8: Re: unashamably pinched from elsewhere as too good not to share Author: stovepipe, Location: Pine, Az.

Posted: Mon Nov 21, 2016 9:34 am
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OK- what'd I miss.....

#9: Re: unashamably pinched from elsewhere as too good not to share Author: Elvis, Location: south island New Zealand

Posted: Mon Nov 21, 2016 7:17 pm
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nufink stovie dhc must be mixing his mushrooms......lol

#10: Re: unashamably pinched from elsewhere as too good not to share Author: stovepipe, Location: Pine, Az.

Posted: Tue Nov 22, 2016 7:30 am
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!!!! lol

#11: Re: unashamably pinched from elsewhere as too good not to share Author: Natdogg,

Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2017 10:31 pm
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Very Happy

#12: Re: unashamably pinched from elsewhere as too good not to share Author: Elvis, Location: south island New Zealand

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 12:14 am
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wachout guys..... that newbie is my other child Nathan Gorseprickle..... with a bit of luck soon you will be seeing some photos to make us all turn green with envy.... my Bro was cutting up deer yesterday and another stag walked over driveway!!!! the young fella off to stay with relos for a taste of back country living.

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