:: Forums »

#1: Marriage License Office Clerk Author: Vince, Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

Posted: Thu Jul 23, 2015 6:19 am
----
"Good morning. We want to apply for a marriage license."

"Names?", said the clerk.
"Tim and Jim Jones."
"Jones?? Are you related?? I see a resemblance."
"Yes, we're brothers."
"Brothers?? You can't get married."
"Why not?? Aren't you giving marriage licenses to same gender couples?"
"Yes, thousands. But we haven't had any siblings. That's incest!"
"Incest?" No, we are not gay."
"Not gay?? Then why do you want to get married?"
"For the financial benefits, of course. And we do love each other. Besides, we don't have any other prospects."
"But we're issuing marriage licenses to gay and lesbian couples who've claim they'd been denied equal protection under law.
If you are not gay, you can get married to a woman."
"Wait a minute. A gay man has the same right to marry a woman as I have.
But just because I'm straight doesn't mean I want to marry a woman. I want to marry Jim."
"And I want to marry Tim, Are you going to discriminate against us just because we are not gay?"
"All right, all right. I'll give you your license. Next."

"Hi. We are here to get married."
"Names?"
"John Smith, Jane James, Robert Green, and June Johnson."
"Who wants to marry whom?"
"We all want to marry each other."
"But there are four of you!"
"That's right. You see, we're all bisexual. I love Jane and Robert, Jane loves me and June, June loves Robert and Jane, and Robert loves June and me. All of us getting married together is the only way that we can express our sexual preferences in a marital relationship."
"But we've only been granting licenses to gay and lesbian couples."
"So you're discriminating against bisexuals!"
"No, it's just that, well, the traditional idea of marriage is that it's just for couples."
"Since when are you standing on tradition?"
"Well, I mean, you have to draw the line somewhere."
"Who says?? There's no logical reason to limit marriage to couples. The more the better. Besides, we demand our rights! The mayor says the constitution guarantees equal protection under the law. Give us a marriage license!"
"All right, all right. Next."

"Hello, I'd like a marriage license."
"In what names?"
"David Anderson."
"And the other man?"
"That's all. I want to marry myself."
"Marry yourself?? What do you mean?"
"Well, my psychiatrist says I have a dual personality, so I want to marry the two together.
Maybe I can file a joint income-tax return."

"That does it!? I quit!!? You people are making a mockery of marriage!!"

...Don't laugh, it’s just a matter of time.

#2: Re: Marriage License Office Clerk Author: Bushmaster, Location: Ava, Missouri

Posted: Thu Jul 23, 2015 8:13 am
----
Yup...And some woman or man will be wanting to marry their dog...

#3: Re: Marriage License Office Clerk Author: Tremblay, Location: Malta, Montana

Posted: Thu Jul 23, 2015 9:41 am
----
Ain't it the truth!

#4: Re: Marriage License Office Clerk Author: gelandangan, Location: Sydney Australia

Posted: Thu Jul 23, 2015 2:21 pm
----

Bushmaster wrote:

Yup...And some woman or man will be wanting to marry their dog...

I thought they already did that in Californi-cating-a..

#5: Re: Marriage License Office Clerk Author: Elvis, Location: south island New Zealand

Posted: Thu Jul 23, 2015 10:59 pm
----
sad but true....

#6: Re: Marriage License Office Clerk Author: lesterg3, Location: Dixie

Posted: Fri Jul 24, 2015 1:43 am
----
Very Happy

but

#7: Re: Marriage License Office Clerk Author: PaulS, Location: South-Eastern Washington - the State

Posted: Fri Jul 24, 2015 6:16 pm
----
Those folks at the license bureau are kings of their domains. They aren't nearly that easy.

#8: Re: Marriage License Office Clerk Author: multigauge,

Posted: Sun Jul 26, 2015 6:07 pm
----
The lawyers haven't figured this one out yet. An elderly widower on his deathbed marries his grandson. His entire estate and fortune passes to his grandson tax-free per the IRS code since he is now a spouse. There is now no inheritance tax for that "family."

#9: Re: Marriage License Office Clerk Author: Bushmaster, Location: Ava, Missouri

Posted: Sun Jul 26, 2015 8:05 pm
----
Hummm...Sneaky idea.

#10: Re: Marriage License Office Clerk Author: dhc4ever, Location: Ipswich, Queensland Australia

Posted: Sun Jul 26, 2015 8:29 pm
----
I like it.
This is what will be the deathnell of the gay marriage idea, thieves in irs wont like a loop hole like that.

#11: Re: Marriage License Office Clerk Author: PaulS, Location: South-Eastern Washington - the State

Posted: Sun Jul 26, 2015 10:45 pm
----
I like the concept... not sure about the execution though.

#12: Re: Marriage License Office Clerk Author: Elvis, Location: south island New Zealand

Posted: Mon Jul 27, 2015 12:21 am
----

multigauge wrote:

The lawyers haven't figured this one out yet. An elderly widower on his deathbed marries his grandson. His entire estate and fortune passes to his grandson tax-free per the IRS code since he is now a spouse. There is now no inheritance tax for that "family."

I guess

he will be entitled to a widowers benefit too Very Happy

#13: Re: Marriage License Office Clerk Author: 44marty, Location: Cheshire, MA; USA

Posted: Sat Sep 26, 2015 11:27 pm
----

Bushmaster wrote:

Yup...And some woman or man will be wanting to marry their dog...

Might have an issue with the dog's age (dogs over 18 yrs old are hard to come by - and way too ornery and ugly to marry)

#14: Re: Marriage License Office Clerk Author: PaulS, Location: South-Eastern Washington - the State

Posted: Mon Sep 28, 2015 12:08 am
----
I like dogs a lot more than some people.. I never wanted to marry one though. They won't shave their legs or underarms. Might as well marry a French farmers daughter.

wait... I don't think that came out quite the way I was thinking it. Wink

#15: Re: Marriage License Office Clerk Author: dhc4ever, Location: Ipswich, Queensland Australia

Posted: Mon Sep 28, 2015 12:35 am
----
Oh yes, it did....

-> Jokes & Humor

All times are GMT - 7 Hours

Go to page 1, 2 Next :| |: Page 1 of 2