Worlds Best Fruitcake Recipe

Ingredients

1 cup butter
1 cup sugar
4 large eggs
1 cup dried fruit
1 tsp baking powder
1 tbl lemon juice
1 cup brown sugar
1 cup nuts
1 or 2 quarts of scotch whiskey

Method

* Before you start, sample the whiskey to check for quality. Good, isn't it? Now go ahead. Select a large mixing bowl, measuring cup, etc. Check the whiskey again as it must be just right. To be sure the whiskey is of the best quality, pour 1 level cup into a glass and drink it as fast as you can. Repeat. With an eclectic mixer, beat 1 cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 teaspoon of sugar and beat the hell out of it again. Meanwhile at this parsnicular point in time, wake sure that the whixey hasn't gone bad while you weren't lookin'. Open second quart if nestessary. Add 2 large eggs, 2 cups of fried druit and beat 'til high. If druit gets stuck in peaters, just pry the monsters loosh with a drewscriver. Example the whikstey again, shecking confistancy. Then shift in 2 cups of salt or destergent or whatever, like anyone gives a @%#*! Chample the whitchey shum more. Shitf in shum lemon zhoosh. Fold in chopped sputter and shrained snuts. Add 100 babblespoons of brown booger or whushever's closhest and mix well. Greash ubben and turn the cakey pan to 350 decrees. Now pour the whole mesh into the washin' machine and set on sinsh shycle. Check dat whixney wunsh more and YOU'RE FINCHED!

*hic* yah! *hic*
*its wash the besh!!* *hic*

Cody,

You know when drinking the water of life one must make sure that you don't drink the cheap s**t, unless you want a hang over, feel very sick and end up not going to work the next day. Many "house" brands can be good, while many can be the most vile poison you ever tasted.

With that in mind, when you buy Scotch (since your recipe calls for it ) NEVER buy Ballantine's Scotch Whisky that stuff is just ....

By the way, if anyone knows where to get Pendleton's in Ontario Canada, I really need to speak to you.

Dimitri

I've used that recipe,
It cost $32 for the ingredients plus the Scotch
Went to sleep and woke up with a black christmas cake.
I now buy the Lions Club Christmas Cake.
A lot cheaper and guaranteed to be good.

Dimitri,
You sound a bit of a Scotch connosuoir (sp) and, as a beer man myself ,whose Scottish grandfather will roll over in his grave at this question.....
What is a reasonable whiskey? I havent tried ballantines but have had a few others and just didnt feel all that well the next day!!! Still went to work, but...
So in an effort to control an expanding waistline what can you recommend a beer drinker transfer too? Also I dont like pop drinks so this would be a neat with water drink?
As for the cake recipe above? Have done the same with Lamb roasts!!

Whiskey is a by product of the flavors imparted on it by the barrels its aged in. Hence it has that wood looking color as well.

Firstly you want Scotch or Whiskey? They are different you see. The Scottish and Canadians call it "Whisky" while the Irish and the Americans call it "Whiskey". So your grandfather is really rolling over in his grave now. (Just teasing)

Differences include (based on location) the method of which they manufacture them.

The Scotish use water and malted barley, but they only allow distillation of up to ~95% alcohol content, must contain a minimum of 40% when sold and only water and caramel are allowed to be added (note, they use peet in the mashing process and you can taste it afterwords). Additionally they must also be aged in oak casts for 3 years.

Canadian Whisky must be aged a minimum of 3 years in a cast no larger then 700ml. Canadian Whisky is also referred to (in Canada) as "Rye" whether or not there is any rye in it!

Irish Whiskey I know little about.

American Whiskey can be grouped as Bourbon and Rye, Bourbon must be made of the majority (51%) corn while in their Rye 51% is Rye. Can only be distilled up to 80% alcohol giving it more of the original taste, and both must be aged in new charred oak barrels for 2 years.

I find Whiskey to be a acquired taste. So far only the junk I mentioned above can make me start feeling sick the day after, no idea why but I know this from first hand experience. I can drink many others all night but this stuff will upset my stomic the next day after the first drink.

This is what I personally grab from the shelf when buying a bottle. Your mileage may vary.

Rye Whisky - Wiser's Old Rye Whiskey.
Scotch - Chivas Regal.
American Bourbon - Jim Beam Kentucky Bourbon.
Canadian Whiskey - Wisers, Canadian Club and next time I visit Oregon some more Pendletons.

Apparently Jim Beam is currently the best-selling spirit of any kind in Australia so you may have some luck to find it in New Zealand!

By the way avoid Indian (from India) Whiskey, it ain't whiskey but rum (made from Molasses).

Dimitri

A good Scotch starts at 12 years then the price goes up with age.
Try the younger ones if you want, I liked Ballantines, Cutty Sark, Wisers, Johnies Red, Black, Blue, Swing. Black Douglas, Famous Grouse, White ........... blah blah blah......

Tikka is right a real good Whiskey does start at ~12 years generally. However many (most?) are not that old.

Dimitri

Thanks Dimitri for the explanation but yes I hear where you are coming from. Grandad used to have two kinds of Scotch in his cabinet. One was for whiskey (sp and culture!) and one was for those who wanted cola in it!
As for the Asian ones....yep years ago I had some 'Glenfiddich" that was somehow made in Asia and that left me wobbly for days. And the Indian stuff, "rum" "vodka" etc etc something called Sahib brand man I wont go near those again!
So Jim Beam is popular here? Yep sure is but that is what we call Bourbon and it is way too sweet for my taste. I will go with those brands you mentioned and sample a few as time goes by. Thanks buddy.
Still, you cant beat a good beer after work on a hot day can you? Oops sorry , it is summer down here now, and though Vince will disagree, I reckon Victoria Bitter is a great beer for a hot day!!!
You know what they say about Queenslanders aye, they only drink XXXX because they cant spell beer!!! No offence Vince, brissy boy myself.
Good info so thanks guys.

Yes Jim Beam is bourbon, I did mention it.

Personally I also generally keep 2 bottles when I know I have company, some not as old whisky for the ones who dare ruin whisky by adding pop/cola/coke to it (but a decent one as more often then not I drink most of it over time anyways). But I will note, I do not add a thing to my whisky it must be drunk straight, and if a cold drink is desired then one is supposed to keep it in the fridge.

And I also have a bottle, aged more then regularly, and I normally kid about it to people "As old as I like my women" or 16+ years old.

Beer is good, but Whisky is a lot better.

Dimitri

Hey big D, did you ever try Glenlivet or Glenfeddich?
Both are single malt scotch made in Scotland. I highly recommend.

As others said the older the better.

I agree with you that the finer scotch does not leave you hangin' in the morning...even when you over indulge!

Will have to try them JS, I must admit most of my whisky drinking comes from North American sources. No real reason just seems to be that way when I look at the shelves at the LCBO.

Dimitri

Gidday C404. Mate, you may have opened a can of worms here. Asking a guy what is a good whisky is like asking him what is a good rifle/calibre.

There are a few whisky drinkers here and I feel certain that this will bring them out of the woodwork...c'mon guys, time to impart some well tested knowledge.

I have been a whisky drinker for many years and depending on how I feel at the time will depend on the whisky I choose to drink. If I want a mixed drink, then I go with a cheaper grain whisky like Johnnie Walker Red or Black Douglas. However, if I am in the mood for a wee tup of sipping whisky, then its out with a MINIMUM of 12 year old Single Malt. I like Glennfiddich (the REAL stuff made and bottled in Scotland), Glenmorangie (same same), Laphroaig, Oban or any of the Islay Single Malts.

There are better whiskys back in Scotland, but they don't export them to Australia. I would have thought that with the affinity that the South Island of NZ has with Scotland that you would be able to find some very nice whiskys over there mate.

Now, as for beer....Fourex...only drink a little Gold, usually drink Hahn Premium or my home brew.

If you can get your hands on a genuine bottle of Gurkha Rum, grab it and run...it is magnificent stuff.

Cheers, Vince

I don't know how you can drink Glenfiddich Vince, or include it in the same sentence as Islay Malts.

I stick with the latter almost exclusively these days, except for when I decide to have more than a single glass.
Then I pour myself a Famous Grouse, as the initial fine whisky anaesthetises the taste buds & I'm not going to waste the good stuff.

My friends, as I sit here this morning reveling in the repartee that is being exchanged about beer and whisky, and since the rain is pouring down way too hard to be out huntin’ deer. I have brought out some of my favorites to sip and to remind me why these brews or distillates have become my favorites over many long years of trial. While the day is yet young I am certain that somewhere in the world it is well past noon and sippin’ is socially acceptable. If I offend anyone, have a drink and ask God to save me for my ignorance.

First, I would like to address Whisky; you know that god inspired beverage produced by my ancestors in Scotland. Over my career I have been fortunate enough to have traveled the world, and during those travels I spent many months in my ancestral homeland of Scotland. Unfortunately, most of my tasting sessions ended with me unable to remember the exact names of the single malt elixirs I had consumed the day before. Fortunately though, I was able to escape my last visit there with two cases of 29 year old Dalwhinnie Highland Single Malt Whisky. A gift from an appreciative business customer. I have tasted nothing better and as the last few bottles are approaching 40+ years old I suspect that I will need to return to Scotland one day soon. If I could drink only one whisky for the rest of my life this is it.

As a Southern, (for those outside America, that’s what true Southern Americans call themselves, please do not confuse us with anyone else in America) I believe that when the Carpetbaggers came south around 1866-67 they were not sure what Whisky was and it confused them so badly that they started calling it Bourbon, and further, that the Southern distillers were so ashamed of what the Carpetbaggers did that they changed the spelling from Whisky to Whiskey. I won’t even address that sugared Canadian drink, I am unsure what happened up there, but it may have been the French influence. As for Asia and India distillates, imitation is the best form of flattery, but it is none the less imitation.

As for American Bourbon Whiskey, even today they do not know how to spell whisky, or is it that they know the difference, and elect to not confuse the issue with the correct spelling. Jim Beam Whiskey is only suitable for cleaning the chrome bumper on my V-8 Ford Lariat truck. Oh, I suppose ya’ll could mix it with some brown pop and add ice and the ladies could drink it, but I suspect that it is too sweet for them too. If ya’ll want a top notch Southern Whisky try George Dickel, if ya’ll want it cold leave it out overnight.

As for American beer, other than Samuel Adams, it is for the most part watered down horse piss and I cannot drink it. That is of course because I have had so many great brews in the UK, Australia, and Germany. Those folks aren’t afraid of brewing something that tastes like beer.

One last thought, beer is whisky that is only part done, and I am sure that God will forgive us our enthusiasm for drinking it too early.