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Definitions for the Dictionary
Jokes, funny stories and general humor

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Vince
Site Admin

Site Admin

Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 15715
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

Posted: Tue Jul 29, 2008 8:14 pm Post subject: Definitions for the Dictionary

Reply with quote

These fit so well they should be in a dictionary.

ADULT:

A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle. Very Happy

Very Happy

BEAUTY PARLOR:

A place where women curl up and dye. Confused

Confused

CANNIBAL:

Someone who is fed up with people. Shocked

Shocked

CHICKENS:

The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead. wtf

wtf

COMMITTEE:

A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours. Very Happy

Very Happy

DUST:

Mud with the juice squeezed out. wtf

wtf

Confused

EGOTIST:

Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation. Laughing

Laughing

HANDKERCHIEF:

Cold Storage. Yuck

Yuck

INFLATION:

Cutting money in half without damaging the paper. Mad

Mad

MOSQUITO:

An insect that makes you like flies better. Mad

Mad

RAISIN:

Grape with a sunburn. Confused

Confused

SECRET:

Something you tell to one person at a time. Laughing

Laughing

SKELETON:

A bunch of bones with the person scraped off. wtf

wtf

Shocked

TOOTHACHE:

The pain that drives you to extraction. Crying or Very sad

Crying or Very sad

TOMORROW:

One of the greatest labor saving devices of today. Very Happy

Very Happy

Laughing

YAWN:

An honest opinion openly expressed. Very Happy

Very Happy

WRINKLES:

Something other people have, similar to my character lines. Very Happy

Very Happy

Razz

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)

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dust54
Member
Member

Member

Joined: Mar 31, 2006
Posts: 204
Location: Gurley, AL

Posted: Wed Jul 30, 2008 3:55 am Post subject: Re: Definitions for the Dictionary
Talley oh!! _________________ ________________________________________ NRA Life member NRA Basic Pistol/Rifle Instructor NRA Certified Home Firearm Safety Instructor NRA Personal Protection in the Home Instructor AGI Member

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whittling
Super Member

Super Member

Joined: Apr 21, 2008
Posts: 586
Location: Texas (home state is Mass)

Posted: Wed Jul 30, 2008 6:27 am Post subject: Re: Definitions for the Dictionary
You forgot : OLD AGE - something other people get ..... PAIN - something other people should take like a man. _________________ Molon labe! Service, honor and courage, without these a warrior is nothing.

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OntheLasGallinas
Super Member

Super Member

Joined: Aug 23, 2007
Posts: 1042
Location: South Texas

Posted: Wed Jul 30, 2008 11:44 am Post subject: Re: Definitions for the Dictionary
Watch it youngun! Talkin about us old f*rts might get us upset and we'll have to go take a nap! Cary _________________ Rancher/Environmental Scientist

Vince
Site Admin

Site Admin

Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 15715
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

Posted: Thu Jul 31, 2008 1:56 am Post subject: Re: Definitions for the Dictionary

Reply with quote

Sleep

....ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ..... Sleep

Sleep

Sleep

wha, wha... who's that...what was that Cary?

ZZZZZZZ snuffle Sleep

Sleep

Sleep

snuffle ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

OY.......Keep it down to a dull roar you mob. Sleep

Sleep

Sleep

X
XX
XXX
XXXX
XXXXX
XXXXXX
XXXXXXX
XXXXXXXX
Sleep

Sleep

Sleep

I'm tryin' to stack some Z's here. Very Happy

Very Happy

Sleep

Sleep

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)

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phill21
Member
Member

Member

Joined: Aug 02, 2007
Posts: 145
Location: Western Australia

Posted: Thu Jul 31, 2008 5:42 am Post subject: Re: Definitions for the Dictionary
HEY OLD TIMERS wakey wakey heres few more A parliament of owls A flange of baboons A wake of buzzards A crash of rhinoceroses ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ phil _________________ no matter what happens my mother still loves me.

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OntheLasGallinas
Super Member

Super Member

Joined: Aug 23, 2007
Posts: 1042
Location: South Texas

Posted: Thu Jul 31, 2008 7:05 am Post subject: Re: Definitions for the Dictionary
Here's one for you Phill21....... From all the loose drawstringed old timers!! _________________ Rancher/Environmental Scientist

phill21
Member
Member

Member

Joined: Aug 02, 2007
Posts: 145
Location: Western Australia

Posted: Thu Jul 31, 2008 3:32 pm Post subject: Re: Definitions for the Dictionary
OntheLasGallinas Excellent phil _________________ no matter what happens my mother still loves me.

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Vince
Site Admin

Site Admin

Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 15715
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

Posted: Thu Jul 31, 2008 7:06 pm Post subject: Re: Definitions for the Dictionary
OK...I'm awake now...can't sleep with all this racket and "activity". Cheers, Vince _________________ Cheers, Vince Illegitimi non carborundum (Never let the bastards grind you down) Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God. "Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta." (Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)

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