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LIFE IN ARKANSAS
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Vince
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 15757
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Mon Mar 19, 2007 5:50 am    Post subject: LIFE IN ARKANSAS Reply with quote

A guy from Arkansas passed away and left his entire estate to his beloved widow . . . .
but she can't touch it till she's 14.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How do you know when you're staying in an Arkansas hotel?
When you call the front desk & say, "I gotta leak in my sink,"
and the clerk replies, "Go ahead."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

How can you tell if an Arkansas redneck is married?
There's dried tobacco juice on both sides of his pickup truck.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinking age in Arkansas to 32 ?
It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What do they call reruns of "Hee Haw" in Arkansas?

Documentaries.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An Arkansas State trooper pulls over a pickup on I-30 and says to the driver, "Got any I.D.?",
and the driver replies to him, "Bout wut?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Did you hear about the $3 million Arkansas State Lottery?
(Come on---this is funny!)
The winner gets $3.00 a year for a million years.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The governor's mansion in Arkansas burned down!
Yep. Pert' near took out the whole trailer park. The library was a total loss, too.
Both books - poof! up in flames,
and he hadn't even finished coloring one of them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A new law was recently passed in Arkansas .
When a couple gets divorced, they are STILL.....
cousins.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A guy walks into a bar in Arkansas and orders a mudslide.
The bartender looks at the man and says, "You ain't from 'round here, are ya?"
"No," replies the man, "I'm from Pennsylvania."
The bartender looks at him and says, "Well, what do ya do in Pennsylvania ?"
"I'm a taxidermist," he said.
The bartender, looking very bewildered now, asks, "Well what in the world is a tax-e-derm-ist?"
The man says, "I mount animals."
The bartender stands back and hollers to the whole bar...

"It's okay boys, he's one of us!"

Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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fireball 3
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Joined: Jan 28, 2007
Posts: 393
Location: northern calif

PostPosted: Mon Mar 19, 2007 6:55 am    Post subject: Re: LIFE IN ARKANSAS Reply with quote

Very Happy an' they say thar's no humor down under. yeh, right! Haha Haha
jus' you keep em comin' vince, i'll email ya later. dave

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if at first you don't succeed, take a nap, and try
tomorrow. can't hurt!
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yotebuster
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Joined: Oct 16, 2005
Posts: 216
Location: Georgia

PostPosted: Mon Mar 19, 2007 6:56 am    Post subject: Re: LIFE IN ARKANSAS Reply with quote

Same applies to Alabama too. LOL
Good one Vince.
YB Shocked

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tracker
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Joined: Nov 08, 2006
Posts: 1175
Location: Manitoba, Canada

PostPosted: Mon Mar 19, 2007 8:07 am    Post subject: Re: LIFE IN ARKANSAS Reply with quote

Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy ROFL ROFL

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"If God hadn't meant for man to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them out of meat!"
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d_hoffman
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Joined: Feb 13, 2007
Posts: 696
Location: Chillicothe, Ohio

PostPosted: Wed Mar 21, 2007 2:05 pm    Post subject: Re: LIFE IN ARKANSAS Reply with quote

,and don't forget West Virginia.

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The best form of gun control...aim straight!!!
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204Shooter
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Joined: Jan 28, 2007
Posts: 68
Location: Diana, TX

PostPosted: Thu Mar 22, 2007 2:27 pm    Post subject: Re: LIFE IN ARKANSAS Reply with quote

Hey, I resemble those remarks!

Born in Arkansas, force to live in Arizona....

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Life is a series of choices. It is how we manage those choices that counts.
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