Survival

Vince · Posted: Sat Oct 31, 2020 3:05 pm Post subject: Survival

A squad of recently graduated Royal Marines had been sent to Malaya for a 'Jungle survival training course', what they could eat, what could poison, what to use in making a shelter also what dangerous animals they could meet. In particular a particularly dangerous snake common in the area, the snake was generally orange in colour with brown stripes. This snake was particularly aggressive and would sometimes strike without warning, if (when confronted) the recommended method of dispatching it was to grab it by its tail, slide your other hand up to its neck and break its back.

During the final few days of their training they were taken out to the jungle to try out their knowledge, at a clearing the Sergeant in charge split them into pairs and told them to take a different path for each pair and to put into practice what they had learned.

Off they went along different tracks, until only one soldier was left, "alright Jones, you're with me." Said the Sarge. When they reached a fork in the track the Sergeant figured he would send Jones to go one way for half an hour, studying what he'd learned, then report back on what he could locate in terms of survival. When he was out of sight, the Sergeant sat and had a nap.

Waking up with a start, he realised Jones hadn't yet returned and over an hour had passed. He was just about to go looking for him when he heard crashing through the jungle and Jones staggered out with his uniform in tatters, covered in scratches and generally a bloody mess.

"What the heck happened to you, Jones?" asked the Sarge.

"Well Sarge I came across one of those brown and orange plurry snakes you warned us about, and I remembered you told us that the safe way to dispatch it was to grab it by its tail run my other hand up its body and break its neck?"

"Correct Jones, that is the approved method" replied the Sergeant "So what in heck happened to you?"

"Well I tried to do what you taught us Sarge, I grabbed the bastard, in my left hand, slid my right hand up its body....and...and.....and.....Sarge, have you ever stuck your thumb up a tigers arse?"

Elvis · Posted: Sat Oct 31, 2020 5:42 pm Post subject: Re: Survival

classic.....

RePete · Posted: Sat Oct 31, 2020 7:35 pm Post subject: Re: Survival

Pumpkinslinger · Posted: Sat Oct 31, 2020 7:44 pm Post subject: Re: Survival

dhc4ever · Posted: Sun Nov 01, 2020 4:44 am Post subject: Re: Survival

Im with Mike

Bushmaster · Posted: Sun Nov 01, 2020 10:17 am Post subject: Re: Survival

sure hope he washed his hand after that.

Vince · Posted: Sun Nov 01, 2020 4:48 pm Post subject: Re: Survival

Bushmaster wrote:

sure hope he washed his hand after that.

dhc4ever · Posted: Sun Nov 01, 2020 5:50 pm Post subject: Re: Survival

Bushy,
You assume he still had it to wash

Bushmaster · Posted: Sun Nov 01, 2020 10:17 pm Post subject: Re: Survival

Sorry, but I just an optimist.