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Elvis Super Member
Joined: Jul 27, 2008 Posts: 9253 Location: south island New Zealand
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Posted: Fri Aug 26, 2016 1:55 am Post subject: THE TITANIC OR BILL CLINTON |
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Students at a high school were assigned to read 2 books, ''Titanic'' and ''My Life'' by Bill Clinton.
One student turned in the following book report, with the priceless proposition that they were nearly identical stories.
His teacher gave him an A for this report.
''Titanic'': Cost – $29.99
'' Clinton '' : Cost – $29.99
Titanic: Over 3 hours to read
Clinton : Over 3 hours to read
Titanic: The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.
Clinton : The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe
Titanic: Jack is a starving artist.
Clinton : Bill is a bullshit artist.
Titanic: In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
Clinton : Ditto for Bill
Titanic: During the ordeal, Rose’s dress gets ruined.
Clinton : Ditto for Monica.
Titanic: Jack teaches Rose to spit.
Clinton : Let’s not go there.
Titanic: Rose gets to keep her jewelery.
Clinton : Monica is forced to return her gifts.
Titanic: Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.
Clinton : Clinton doesn’t remember anything.
Titanic: Rose goes down on a vessel full of Seamen.
Clinton : Monica.. Ooh, let’s not go there, either.
Titanic: Jack surrenders to an icy death.
Clinton : Bill goes home to Hillary – basically the same thing
_________________ You shot it You pluck it !
Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers! |
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Vince Site Admin
Joined: May 25, 2005 Posts: 15715 Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA
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Posted: Fri Aug 26, 2016 2:10 am Post subject: Re: THE TITANIC OR BILL CLINTON |
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_________________ Cheers, Vince
Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)
Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.
"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done) |
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gelandangan Super Member
Joined: May 07, 2006 Posts: 6398 Location: Sydney Australia
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Posted: Fri Aug 26, 2016 3:36 pm Post subject: Re: THE TITANIC OR BILL CLINTON |
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_________________ A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.
Do - Not try!
gelandangan.weebly.com/ |
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dhc4ever Super Member
Joined: May 26, 2011 Posts: 2944 Location: Ipswich, Queensland Australia
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Posted: Sat Aug 27, 2016 11:06 pm Post subject: Re: THE TITANIC OR BILL CLINTON |
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Elvis.
That won the crown.
Classic
_________________ Pete
Dont do anything you wont like explaining to the paramedics.............. |
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Vince Site Admin
Joined: May 25, 2005 Posts: 15715 Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA
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lesterg3 Super Member
Joined: Nov 30, 2008 Posts: 1328 Location: Dixie
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Posted: Tue Aug 30, 2016 4:50 am Post subject: Re: THE TITANIC OR BILL CLINTON |
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_________________ "A democracy is nothing more than mob rule, where fifty-one percent of the people may take away the rights of the other forty-nine. "--Thomas Jefferson
The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government. -- Thomas Jefferson
"Americans have the right and advantage of being armed - unlike the citizens of other countries whose governments are afraid to trust the people with arms."--James Madison
"The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants." Thomas Jefferson.
NRA Life Member
Vietnam War Vet 68-69 |
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