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What do you call.....
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Suzanne
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 27, 2009
Posts: 3323
Location: Eugene, Oregon

PostPosted: Sat Mar 16, 2013 5:23 pm    Post subject: Re: What do you call..... Reply with quote

Hey I'm a great hostess Bushy, I made some sourdough sweet rolls with walnuts and dried cranberries, they're yummy. Wonderful with cowboy coffee. Ok so you bring the coffee, or we'll make a fire out back and brew some fresh and I'll bring the rolls.

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May the moon keep you centered,
May the sun keep you dancing,
And the stars shed light on your dreams.
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Vince
Site Admin
Site Admin


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 15715
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Sat Mar 16, 2013 8:06 pm    Post subject: Re: What do you call..... Reply with quote

Haha Haha Haha Haha Haha Haha

What do ya call a young fella 150 yards offshore at the beach?
buoy

What do you call an exploding ape?
A baboom.

What do you call bears without ears?
B.

What do you call a man who can't stand?
Neil.

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs that lies on the floor?
Matt.

What do you call a woman with one leg longer than the other?
Eileen.

What do you call a Japanes woman with one leg shorter than the other?
Irene.

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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dhc4ever
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 26, 2011
Posts: 2944
Location: Ipswich, Queensland Australia

PostPosted: Sun Mar 17, 2013 1:44 am    Post subject: Re: What do you call..... Reply with quote

Can I come as well?

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Pete

Dont do anything you wont like explaining to the paramedics..............
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Suzanne
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 27, 2009
Posts: 3323
Location: Eugene, Oregon

PostPosted: Sun Mar 17, 2013 5:31 am    Post subject: Re: What do you call..... Reply with quote

Sure Dhc we'll have a party. Here's somethin to mess them UP:

It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP?
At a meeting, why does a topic come UP?
Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report?
We call UP our friends.
And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver; we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen.
We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car. At other times the little word has real special meaning.
People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses.
To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed UP is special.
A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP.
We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.

We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP!
To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look UP the word UP in the dictionary.
In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions.
If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used.
It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more. When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP.
When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP.
When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP.
When it doesn't rain for a while, things dry UP.

One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP,
for now my time is UP, so.......it is time to shut UP!

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May the sun keep you dancing,
And the stars shed light on your dreams.
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Bushmaster
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 11393
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Sun Mar 17, 2013 6:53 am    Post subject: Re: What do you call..... Reply with quote

Never mind Suz...I'll stay home.

ByTheWay...You forgot "screwed up"...Oh and there's "knocked up...

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I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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Bushmaster
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 11393
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Sun Mar 17, 2013 6:54 am    Post subject: Re: What do you call..... Reply with quote

Sure is nice to know my computer can still "screw things up"... Mad

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...


Last edited by Bushmaster on Sun Mar 17, 2013 7:57 am; edited 1 time in total
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Suzanne
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 27, 2009
Posts: 3323
Location: Eugene, Oregon

PostPosted: Sun Mar 17, 2013 7:21 am    Post subject: Re: What do you call..... Reply with quote

OOOooooo Bushy!!! you want me all for yourself huh? Common he's from Australia, I was just bein polite....now you're quoting yourself...hhmmmm lets go to coffee and we'll talk (poor guy)....thinkin about screwed up and knocked up....must be a morning guy....maybe I could come out to your place, you have the nice fire pit....just thinkin...

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May the sun keep you dancing,
And the stars shed light on your dreams.
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Donut Slayer
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 27, 2007
Posts: 594
Location: Pensacola, Florida

PostPosted: Sun Mar 17, 2013 4:36 pm    Post subject: Re: What do you call..... Reply with quote

Vince, your last post Haha Haha Haha

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Browning X-Bolt in 30'06. The work for a pet load starts again. Wink The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.
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Elvis
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jul 27, 2008
Posts: 9253
Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Sun Mar 17, 2013 4:50 pm    Post subject: Re: What do you call..... Reply with quote

ok heres some from the land of leaping lepracorns
what do you call a bald irishman???
shawn
what do you call an irishman with a spade???
doug
without one??
douglass
Irishman standing in a field???
paddy
standing in a pile of leaves????
russel
holding a rabbit in each hand and one down his shirt???
warren
standing in a swamp???
pete
and finally...
what do you call an Irishman with a 2"long......well you know Embarassed Embarassed
Justin Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy

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You shot it You pluck it !
Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers!
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Pumpkinslinger
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Sep 22, 2007
Posts: 5002
Location: NC foothills

PostPosted: Sun Mar 17, 2013 8:41 pm    Post subject: Re: What do you call..... Reply with quote

Well done Suz!

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Mike

"I ain't no better than anybody else, and there ain't nobody better than me!" Ma Kettle
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gelandangan
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 07, 2006
Posts: 6398
Location: Sydney Australia

PostPosted: Mon Mar 18, 2013 12:01 am    Post subject: Re: What do you call..... Reply with quote

Haha Haha Haha Haha Haha

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A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.

Do - Not try!


gelandangan.weebly.com/
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scalerman
Rookie Member
Rookie Member


Joined: Jun 24, 2008
Posts: 11

PostPosted: Mon Mar 18, 2013 3:07 pm    Post subject: Re: What do you call..... Reply with quote

What do you call a deer with no eyes?



No eye deer.



What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?



Still no eye deer.
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scalerman
Rookie Member
Rookie Member


Joined: Jun 24, 2008
Posts: 11

PostPosted: Mon Mar 18, 2013 3:09 pm    Post subject: Re: What do you call..... Reply with quote

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs under your car?



Jack!
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Donut Slayer
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 27, 2007
Posts: 594
Location: Pensacola, Florida

PostPosted: Mon Mar 18, 2013 3:23 pm    Post subject: Re: What do you call..... Reply with quote

Q: Why did the boa constrictors get married.







A: Because they had a crush on each other.

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Browning X-Bolt in 30'06. The work for a pet load starts again. Wink The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.
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Donut Slayer
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 27, 2007
Posts: 594
Location: Pensacola, Florida

PostPosted: Mon Mar 18, 2013 3:24 pm    Post subject: Re: What do you call..... Reply with quote

Are dog biscuits made from collie flour?

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Browning X-Bolt in 30'06. The work for a pet load starts again. Wink The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.
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