I lost a good friend today

dhc4ever · Posted: Wed Apr 04, 2012 3:41 am Post subject: I lost a good friend today

I'm stunned, sad, upset, peed off.
My best mate and I have been battling cancer together over the last 2 years, I'm in remission thankfully, he on the other hand has just had his 3 rd round of surgery in 2 yrs after 6 months solid months of chemo.
The news isnt what we wanted to hear, they did an exploritory, had a look ,took a biopsy and closed. The surgeon isnt hopeful for my mates longevity.
Hopefully the oncologist may have some answers later in the week.
Off to see him tomorrow.
I'm at a loss as to how to support him and he has no immediate family.
Sometimes life's a sh*t.
Thanks for letting me vent.

Vince · Posted: Wed Apr 04, 2012 4:41 am Post subject: Re: *&^%$#$%%@@$R%!!!!!!!!!

That terrible Pete. I suppose it makes you feel worse that you have gone into remission (survived) when he hasn't. What Hospital is he going into and how long will he likely be there mate? What type of cancer does he have?

How to support him and his family...well mate, there isn't really much you can do other than to be there for them, and reassure him that you will always be there to look after his family whilst he's in hospital. Don't fuss over him or treat him like an invalid...if he is anything like my best mate, he wouldn't appreciate that...just treat him as per normal (and sneak an occasional beer in if you can get away with it and he can handle it too). If he is able to get out of bed, then a walk outside with him in a wheel chair will make him feel good, and do good things for you too mate. I assume that his wife drives, but if not, you can become a taxi for her. I know that can sometimes be a pain in the butt, but it will be one less thing for him to worry about. Keep reminding him that cancer doesn't always mean a death sentence and that a positive attitude can go a long way towards helping survival. Most importantly, both of you keep a good attitude and be as happy as possible...a good laugh works wonders.

Not much I can do mate, but please pass on my regards and prayers for a swift and total recovery (into remission) to him...and if there is anything that I can do, let me know.

As for venting...that's what friends do...listen to their mates and help where they can.

Cheers, Vince

Bushmaster · Posted: Wed Apr 04, 2012 7:48 am Post subject: Re: *&^%$#$%%@@$R%!!!!!!!!!

I agree with Vince. Just be there...

RePete · Posted: Wed Apr 04, 2012 8:22 am Post subject: Re: *&^%$#$%%@@$R%!!!!!!!!!

Sorry to hear that mate.

All you can do is be there for him and his family. It will give him peace of mind.

Gil Martin · Posted: Wed Apr 04, 2012 1:54 pm Post subject: Re: *&^%$#$%%@@$R%!!!!!!!!!

Hang in there with him. My older brother just got similar news. All the best...
Gil

gelandangan · Posted: Wed Apr 04, 2012 2:43 pm Post subject: Re: *&^%$#$%%@@$R%!!!!!!!!!

Sorry to hear that.
My best wishes to your mate!

Ominivision1 · Posted: Wed Apr 04, 2012 9:43 pm Post subject: Re: *&^%$#$%%@@$R%!!!!!!!!!

Hang in there and best wishes to your buddy.

Elvis · Posted: Wed Apr 04, 2012 11:39 pm Post subject: Re: *&^%$#$%%@@$R%!!!!!!!!!

Vince has said it all.
look after your own health and just be there as thats all you can do, dont forget the photos of the trips you make out and about its a very positive influence.

Tremblay · Posted: Thu Apr 05, 2012 6:03 pm Post subject: Re: *&^%$#$%%@@$R%!!!!!!!!!

Prayers and gods speed

ElyBoy · Posted: Fri Apr 06, 2012 12:46 am Post subject: Re: *&^%$#$%%@@$R%!!!!!!!!!

Prayers heading your way.

God Bless.

Eric

dhc4ever · Posted: Sat Jun 02, 2012 6:06 pm Post subject: Re: I lost a good friend today

Well my friend Leigh has lost him fight with cancer, his journey in life is over.
The last week has been very unpleasant.
Close mates for 28 years, he somehow morphed into family.
I'll miss him.....

DallanC · Site Admin Joined: Jan 18, 2005 Posts: 3572 Location: Utah

Very sorry to hear that. Its a terrible disease, my father in law died from it not long ago and I've had several friends die from it. Sorry for your loss.

-DallanC

1895ss · Posted: Sat Jun 02, 2012 10:23 pm Post subject: Re: I lost a good friend today

Very sorry to hear that dhc4ever. Like Dallan says "it's a terrible disease" I lost my younger brother last fall and my father in-law 2 yrs ago to cancer. I'm sure you being with him helped him more than you possibly know. Take care.

Vince · Posted: Sat Jun 02, 2012 10:52 pm Post subject: Re: I lost a good friend today

I mirror the other guys words Pete...an insidious disease that takes rich or poor, good or bad regardless mate.

As 1895ss said...you helped him just by being there. You not only gave him your friendship and companionship, and helped him cope with his remaining days, but you also helped him prepare, without realising it, for his passing. You also helped his family as well, if for no other reason than being there for your mate when he needed help, someone to talk to, someone to help take his mind off his illness. You done good mate, I'm proud of you...you are a true cobber.

Leigh is now in God's care...he is no longer suffering...may he Rest In Peace, awaiting the day when he is reunited with his family and friends.

Cheers, Vince

gelandangan · Posted: Sat Jun 02, 2012 11:34 pm Post subject: Re: I lost a good friend today

I am sorry to hear of that Pete.
Friends are what made your life rich.
May he Rest In Peace.