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HOME REMEDIES FOR DUMMIES
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Vince
Site Admin
Site Admin


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 15450
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Mon Feb 13, 2006 6:24 am    Post subject: HOME REMEDIES FOR DUMMIES Reply with quote

HOME REMEDIES

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic! Simply pour a cup of
boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be almost
instantly removed.

2. Are you clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by
getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs about lifting the toilet seat by simply
using the sink.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: just cut yourself and bleed for a
few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.

5. A mousetrap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from
rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you
will be afraid to cough.

7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will
forget about the toothache.


Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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1895ss
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jul 21, 2005
Posts: 2613
Location: Not Here...!!

PostPosted: Mon Feb 13, 2006 8:00 am    Post subject: Re: HOME REMEDIES FOR DUMMIES Reply with quote

Thanks............ but "No Thanks!!! Very Happy

_________________
A cruel truth is much more desirable than a really nice lie.
'Tis far better to walk alone than to follow a crowd or an a**hole going the wrong way.
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Dimitri
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Nov 25, 2005
Posts: 5910

PostPosted: Mon Feb 13, 2006 10:23 am    Post subject: Re: HOME REMEDIES FOR DUMMIES Reply with quote

ROFL :rofl2:

Good one Vince! Very Happy

Dimitri

_________________
A thousand hills, but no birds in flight, ten thousand paths, with no people's tracks. A lonely boat, a straw-hatted old man, fishing alone in the cold river snow.
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mikekuzara
Member
Member


Joined: Sep 13, 2005
Posts: 147
Location: Farson, Wyoming

PostPosted: Mon Feb 13, 2006 12:34 pm    Post subject: Re: HOME REMEDIES FOR DUMMIES Reply with quote

Another home remedy from Wyoming is:

For chapped lips, use "cowboy chapstick". Find a fresh cow pie and rub some on your lips. It won't heal your lips, but you will only lick them once.

_________________
Build a fire for a man and he is warm for a day.

Set a man on fire and he is warm the rest of his life.
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