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Preaching
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dhc4ever
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Joined: May 26, 2011
Posts: 2944
Location: Ipswich, Queensland Australia

PostPosted: Fri Jul 29, 2011 3:38 pm    Post subject: Preaching Reply with quote

A Catholic Priest, a Baptist Preacher, and a Rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University in Marquette. They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.

One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard - a real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another, and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it.

Seven days later, they all came together to discuss their experience. Father Flannery, who had his arm in a sling, was on crutches, and had various bandages on his body and limbs, went first.

'Well,' he said, 'I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him, I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle as a lamb. The Bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation.'

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next....

He was in a wheelchair, had one arm and both legs in casts, and had an
IV drip. In his best fire-and-brimstone oratory, he claimed, 'WELL,
brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear.. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quickly DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus...Hallelujah!

The priest and the reverend both looked down at the Rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IVs and monitors running in and out of him. He was in really bad shape.

The Rabbi looked up and said: "Looking back on it, ...circumcision may not have been the best way to start."

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Dont do anything you wont like explaining to the paramedics..............
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gelandangan
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Joined: May 07, 2006
Posts: 6393
Location: Sydney Australia

PostPosted: Fri Jul 29, 2011 4:32 pm    Post subject: Re: Preaching Reply with quote

Haha

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A smile is the shortest distance between two people.

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Vince
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 15680
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Sat Jul 30, 2011 3:05 am    Post subject: Re: Preaching Reply with quote

Haha Haha Haha Haha Haha

Cheers, Vince

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Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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Bushmaster
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Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 11381
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Sat Jul 30, 2011 7:09 am    Post subject: Re: Preaching Reply with quote

Ya think??

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DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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English Mike
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Joined: Jan 08, 2007
Posts: 1709
Location: Whitehaven, Cumbria, UK

PostPosted: Sat Jul 30, 2011 10:53 am    Post subject: Re: Preaching Reply with quote

Good un. Very Happy
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RePete
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Joined: Aug 15, 2005
Posts: 1034
Location: Gods Country

PostPosted: Sat Jul 30, 2011 4:45 pm    Post subject: Re: Preaching Reply with quote

Party ROFL Laughing

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Stercus Accidit = Sh*t Happens in Latin.

Nice try = You Suck spelled different.

My parents spanked me as a child. As a result, I now suffer from a psychological condition known as RESPECT FOR OTHERS.
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ROADJOCKY
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Joined: Jan 29, 2010
Posts: 101
Location: SOUTHERN-OHIO

PostPosted: Sat Jul 30, 2011 4:48 pm    Post subject: Re: Preaching Reply with quote

Saved by the skin of his Mad Mad Mad Mad
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