Hospital Chart Bloopers

Vince · Posted: Mon Jun 09, 2008 10:55 pm Post subject: Hospital Chart Bloopers

ACTUAL WRITINGS from hospital charts:

1. The patient refused autopsy. Surprised

2. The patient has no previous history of suicides. Confused

3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital. Very Happy

4. Note: patient here-recovering from forehead cut. Patient became very angry when given an enema by mistake. burr

5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year. Confused

6. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared. Shocked

7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed. Very Happy

8. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993. Very Happy

9. Discharge status: Alive but without permission. wtf

10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but forgetful. Confused

11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch. Razz

12. She is numb from her toes down. Shocked

13. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home. Laughing

14. The skin was moist and dry. Confused

15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches. wtf

16. Patient was alert and unresponsive. Shocked

17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid. Shocked

18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce. Mad

19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy. Smile

20. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized. wtf

21. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function. Shocked

22. Skin: somewhat pale but present Sad

23. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities Embarassed

Cheers, Vince

whittling · Posted: Tue Jun 10, 2008 8:26 am Post subject: Re: Hospital Chart Bloopers

That is as good the church blooper:Todays sermon ''How Much Can a Man Drink ?'' with hymns from a full choir .

Dimitri · Super Member Joined: Nov 25, 2005 Posts: 5944

Cracks me up because I can barely read my own writting, doctors just write chicken scratch.

Dimitri

gelandangan · Posted: Tue Jun 10, 2008 5:20 pm Post subject: Re: Hospital Chart Bloopers

Dimitri wrote:

Cracks me up because I can barely read my own writting, doctors just write chicken scratch.

Dimitri

So Dimitri, you are a doctor? Very Happy

Dimitri · Super Member Joined: Nov 25, 2005 Posts: 5944

Not a doctor, but unless I "focus" on writing my writing can get pretty bad, not as bad as doctors though, but close enough most cant read it. Laughing

Dimitri

English Mike · Posted: Sun Jun 15, 2008 5:46 pm Post subject: Re: Hospital Chart Bloopers

17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.

I guess the examiner took the scenic route.......

Very Happy