HuntingNut
HuntingNut
   Login or Register
HomeCommunity ForumsPhoto AlbumsRegister
     
 

User Info

Welcome Anonymous


Membership:
Latest: gunguy2020
New Today: 0
New Yesterday: 0
Overall: 12871

People Online:
Members: 0
Visitors: 79
BOT: 3
Total: 82
Who Is Where:
 Visitors:
01: Forums
02: Home
03: Forums
04: Forums
05: Home
06: Forums
07: Forums
08: Home
09: Home
10: Forums
11: Forums
12: Home
13: Forums
14: Home
15: Home
16: Forums
17: Forums
18: Forums
19: Your Account
20: Home
21: Home
22: Forums
23: Forums
24: Your Account
25: Forums
26: Forums
27: Home
28: Home
29: Home
30: Your Account
31: Home
32: Forums
33: Forums
34: Your Account
35: Home
36: Home
37: Your Account
38: Forums
39: Your Account
40: Forums
41: Home
42: Home
43: Your Account
44: Home
45: Home
46: Forums
47: Forums
48: Home
49: Forums
50: Home
51: Forums
52: Home
53: Your Account
54: Forums
55: Your Account
56: Your Account
57: Forums
58: Forums
59: Home
60: Forums
61: Forums
62: Forums
63: Home
64: Forums
65: Home
66: Your Account
67: Home
68: Forums
69: Forums
70: Your Account
71: Forums
72: Forums
73: Forums
74: Forums
75: Home
76: Forums
77: Forums
78: Home
79: Your Account
  BOT:
01: Forums
02: Forums
03: Forums

Staff Online:

No staff members are online!
 

Coppermine Stats
Photo Albums
 Albums: 307
 Pictures: 2397
  · Views: 735013
  · Votes: 1313
  · Comments: 86
 

Mlitary Rules
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
Post new topic   Reply to topic   Printer Friendly Page    Forum Index » Jokes & Humor

View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
whittling
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Apr 21, 2008
Posts: 586
Location: Texas (home state is Mass)

PostPosted: Mon May 04, 2009 6:11 am    Post subject: Mlitary Rules Reply with quote

The rules of the military branches -Military Rules

Marine Corps Rules:

1. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.

2. Decide to be aggressive enough, quickly enough.

3. Have a plan.

4. Have a back-up plan, because the first one probably won't work.

5. Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet even your friends.

6. Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun whose caliber does not start with a "4."

7. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life is expensive.

8. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Lateral & diagonal preferred.)

9. Use cover or concealment as much as possible.

10. Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours.

11. Always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.

12. In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance, or tactics. They will only remember who lived.

13. If you are not shooting, you should be communicating your intention to shoot.



Navy SEAL's Rules:

1. Look very cool in sunglasses.

2. Kill every living thing within view.

3. Check hair in mirror.



U.S. Army Rangers Rules:

1. Walk in 50 miles wearing 75 pound rucksack while starving.

2. Locate individuals requiring killing.

3. Request permission via radio from "Higher" to perform killing.

4. Curse bitterly when mission is aborted.

5. Walk out 50 miles wearing a 75 pound rucksack while starving.



U.S. Army Rules:

1. Curse bitterly when receiving operational order.

2. Make sure there is extra ammo and extra coffee.

3. Curse bitterly.

4. Curse bitterly.

5. Do not listen to 2nd LT's; it can get you killed.

6. Curse bitterly.
7. Fight hard 'cause the air force will get the credit and you don't want them to look bad .


U.S. Air Force Rules:

1. Have a cocktail.

2. Adjust temperature on air-conditioner.

3. See what's on HBO.

4. Ask "what is a gunfight?"

5. Request more funding from Congress with a "killer" Power Point presentation.

6. Wine & dine 'key' Congressmen, invite DOD & defense industry executives.

7. Receive funding, set up new command and assemble assets.

8. Declare the assets "strategic" and never deploy them operationally.

9. Hurry to make 13:45 tee-time.

10. Make sure the base is as far as possible from the conflict but close enough to have tax exemption.



U.S. Navy Rules:

1. Go to Sea.

2. Drink Coffee.

3. Deploy Marines.
Misunderstanding terms
One reason the Services have trouble operating jointly is that they don't speak the same language.

For example, if you told Navy personnel to "secure a building," they would turn off the lights and lock the doors.

Army personnel would occupy the building so no one could enter.

Marines would assault the building, capture it, and defend it with suppressive fire and close combat.

The Air Force, on the other hand, would take out a three-year lease with an option to buy.

Remember during wars
Things to Remember During a War

1. The only things more accurate than enemy fire is friendly fire.

2. Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo.

3. Teamwork is essential. It gives them more targets to shoot at.

4. No inspection-ready unit ever passed combat.

5. No combat-ready unit ever passed inspection.

6. Remember: your aircraft was made by the lowest bidder.

7. Never draw fire, it will irritate the rest of your formation.

8. Never share a cockpit with someone braver than you.

9. You are not Tom Cruise.

10. SAMs and AAA have the right-of-way.

11. If you aren't sure, the SAMs are pointed at you.

12. If hit, landing near the people that just shot you down is not a good idea.

13. Close only counts in horseshoes, nukes and proximity-fused missiles.

14. Smart bombs have bad days too.

15. The best defense is to stay out of range.

16. If you are short on everything but enemy, you are in combat.

_________________
Molon labe!
Service, honor and courage, without these a warrior is nothing.
Back to top
View user's profile Send e-mail Photo Gallery
Elvis
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jul 27, 2008
Posts: 8411
Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Fri Nov 19, 2010 12:58 am    Post subject: Re: Mlitary Rules Reply with quote

very good. now which branch of the forces did you say you were joining???

_________________
You shot it You pluck it !
Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers!
Back to top
View user's profile
Suzanne
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 27, 2009
Posts: 3323
Location: Eugene, Oregon

PostPosted: Fri Nov 19, 2010 10:15 am    Post subject: Re: Mlitary Rules Reply with quote

I knew I should have joined the Air Force....Navy was a close second but it was fun anyway

Suz

_________________
May the moon keep you centered,
May the sun keep you dancing,
And the stars shed light on your dreams.
Back to top
View user's profile
Bushmaster
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 11043
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Fri Nov 19, 2010 10:35 am    Post subject: Re: Mlitary Rules Reply with quote

U.S Navy here...And the second favorite word pass on the 21 MC was "Secure for sea"...That meant to tie down anything that was loose and stow all Marine in one space so the puke wasn't spread all over the ship. The third favorite word passed over the 21 MC was "Set the sea and anchor detail". The FIRST favorite word passed over the 21 MC was "Now liberty call"....

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
Back to top
View user's profile
slimjim
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 16, 2009
Posts: 8103
Location: Fort Worth TX

PostPosted: Fri Nov 19, 2010 2:13 pm    Post subject: Re: Mlitary Rules Reply with quote

Bushy, we only had a 1MC. Wonder why your older MC was bigger?

whittling, thanks these were great!

_________________
"To anger a conservative, lie to him. To anger a liberal, tell him the truth." - Theodore Roosevelt

"The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it." - Albert Einstein
Back to top
View user's profile
Bushmaster
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 11043
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Fri Nov 19, 2010 2:57 pm    Post subject: Re: Mlitary Rules Reply with quote

1 MC was ships exterior com system (we had it too) and 21 MC was interior com system (bit noisy in [diesel] engine rooms to hear the 1 MC...

We (us Black shoes) were in the engine rooms warming up machinery long before the even called over the 1 MC "Make all preperations for getting underway".

Normally I was already "liting off" engines at 0600 if we were getting underway at 0800.

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
Back to top
View user's profile
yorg
Rookie Member
Rookie Member


Joined: Apr 19, 2011
Posts: 9
Location: North central Alberta, Canada

PostPosted: Mon Apr 25, 2011 10:20 am    Post subject: Re: Mlitary Rules Reply with quote

Brilliant listings! So many of them apply to my time in the Royal 22nd, especially Marine #9 and the Army #5...

_________________
Georges from Alberta
Back to top
View user's profile Send e-mail Visit poster's website
Bushmaster
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 11043
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Mon Apr 25, 2011 11:46 am    Post subject: Re: Mlitary Rules Reply with quote

I have fond memories of being aboard a few Canadian Destroyers. I, also, have had the honor of "Splicing the Main Brace" aboard English naval ships.

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
Back to top
View user's profile
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic   Printer Friendly Page    Forum Index » Jokes & Humor
Page 1 of 1
All times are GMT - 7 Hours



Jump to:  


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
You cannot attach files in this forum
You cannot download files in this forum


Valid CSS! Valid HTML 4.01!
Click to check if this page is realy HTML 4.01 compliant for speed :)

All logos and trademarks in this site are property of HuntingNut.com.
The comments are property of their posters, all the rest © 2011 by HuntingNut.com
Interactive software released under GNU GPL, Code Credits, Privacy Policy

.: Upgraded to DragonFly 9.2 by *Dizfunkshunal* :.