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wy111 Member


Joined: Jun 02, 2005 Posts: 114 Location: N. Yorkshire, U.K. ( Pomgolia)
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Posted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 8:20 am Post subject: Newlyweds |
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A newlywed couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies .
So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back."
"Where are you going, coochy cooh?" asked the wife. "I'm going to the bar, pretty face. I' m going to have a beer."
The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?" She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer brands from 12 different countries: Germany , Holland , Japan , India ,etc..
The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, "Yes, lolly pop...but at the bar...you know...they have frozen glasses..."
He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying, "You want a frozen glass, puppy face?" She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.
The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, tootsie roll, but at the Bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious... I won't be long, I'll be right back. I promise. OK?"
You want hors d'oeuvres, poochi pooh?" She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, pork strips, etc.
"But my sweet honey... At the bar... You know...there's swearing, dirty words and all that..."
"You want dirty words, D**khead? Drink your ******* beer in your Goddamn frozen mug and eat your mother******* snacks, because you are Married now, and you aren't ******* going anywhere! Got it, A**hole?"
........and, they lived happily ever after.
Now, isn't that a sweet story?
_________________ Dave |
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Bushmaster Super Member


Joined: Jun 12, 2005 Posts: 11317 Location: Ava, Missouri
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SwampFox Super Member


Joined: Jul 15, 2005 Posts: 1040 Location: Destin, Florida
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gelandangan Super Member


Joined: May 07, 2006 Posts: 6358 Location: Sydney Australia
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Posted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 4:37 pm Post subject: Re: Newlyweds |
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Daymn!!
That story sounds familiar..  :-D
Somehow us men dont know what freedom is until we got married. By then its too late.. err.. is that you honey.. Yes dear, right away dear..

_________________ A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.
Do - Not try!
gelandangan.weebly.com/ |
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Bushmaster Super Member


Joined: Jun 12, 2005 Posts: 11317 Location: Ava, Missouri
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Posted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 5:07 pm Post subject: Re: Newlyweds |
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Sure are a lot of "confessions going on here...
_________________ I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...
DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote... |
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Dimitri Super Member


Joined: Nov 25, 2005 Posts: 5919
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Posted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 5:13 pm Post subject: Re: Newlyweds |
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So you mean I got to get married before I appreciate just how much freedom I got Gelan ??
Dimitri
_________________ A thousand hills, but no birds in flight, ten thousand paths, with no people's tracks. A lonely boat, a straw-hatted old man, fishing alone in the cold river snow. |
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shrpshtrjoe Super Red Neck Member


Joined: Jan 26, 2005 Posts: 2965 Location: Maryland
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Dimitri Super Member


Joined: Nov 25, 2005 Posts: 5919
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Posted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 6:18 pm Post subject: Re: Newlyweds |
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Well Joe, I hope I get it right the first time so there will be no need for divorce.
Dimitri
_________________ A thousand hills, but no birds in flight, ten thousand paths, with no people's tracks. A lonely boat, a straw-hatted old man, fishing alone in the cold river snow. |
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shrpshtrjoe Super Red Neck Member


Joined: Jan 26, 2005 Posts: 2965 Location: Maryland
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Posted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 6:19 pm Post subject: Re: Newlyweds |
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Dimitri wrote: |
Well Joe, I hope I get it right the first time so there will be no need for divorce. 
Dimitri |
I hope you do as well Dimitri.
Joe
_________________ "MOLON LABE"
P E T A
People Eating Tasty Animals |
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Dimitri Super Member


Joined: Nov 25, 2005 Posts: 5919
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Posted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 6:23 pm Post subject: Re: Newlyweds |
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Joe,
I don't know about anyone else but at the point of the wife bringing out the snacks I'd have considered myself lucky and sat down with my beer and food!
Is that wrong ??
Dimitri
_________________ A thousand hills, but no birds in flight, ten thousand paths, with no people's tracks. A lonely boat, a straw-hatted old man, fishing alone in the cold river snow. |
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shrpshtrjoe Super Red Neck Member


Joined: Jan 26, 2005 Posts: 2965 Location: Maryland
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Posted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 6:28 pm Post subject: Re: Newlyweds |
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No it's not wrong buddy. Bein happily married takes alot of work, from both people. If your with the right person it can be easier but it still takes alot of work.
Joe
_________________ "MOLON LABE"
P E T A
People Eating Tasty Animals |
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Bushmaster Super Member


Joined: Jun 12, 2005 Posts: 11317 Location: Ava, Missouri
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Posted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 6:30 pm Post subject: Re: Newlyweds |
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Yup...A lot of work and I didn't learn a damned thing the first time...
_________________ I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...
DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote... |
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Dimitri Super Member


Joined: Nov 25, 2005 Posts: 5919
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Posted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 6:31 pm Post subject: Re: Newlyweds |
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Yah, well in a few years when I get married I'll post how the first week went.
Dimitri
_________________ A thousand hills, but no birds in flight, ten thousand paths, with no people's tracks. A lonely boat, a straw-hatted old man, fishing alone in the cold river snow. |
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gelandangan Super Member


Joined: May 07, 2006 Posts: 6358 Location: Sydney Australia
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Posted: Tue Nov 20, 2007 2:19 am Post subject: Re: Newlyweds |
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Heh.. come December it will be my 20th wedding anniversary.
Guess I could say I got it right the first time too..
but sometimes .....
Dimitri, I select a girl that I could sleep with..  I meant sleep in literal way.
I guess its the right choice.
_________________ A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.
Do - Not try!
gelandangan.weebly.com/ |
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tracker Super Member


Joined: Nov 08, 2006 Posts: 1175 Location: Manitoba, Canada
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Posted: Mon Nov 26, 2007 2:46 pm Post subject: Re: Newlyweds |
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_________________ "If God hadn't meant for man to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them out of meat!" |
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