This getting old is getting old!!!!!


Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, "How old was your husband?" "98," she replied. "Two years older than me." "So you're 96," the undertaker commented. She responded, "Hardly worth going home, is it?
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Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked. She simply replied, "No peer pressure."
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The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs.
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I've sure gotten old! I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees fought prostate cancer and diabetes; I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends but, thank God, I still have my driver's license.
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I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. By the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.
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An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her preacher she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart. "Wal-Mart?" the preacher exclaimed. "Why Wal-Mart?" "Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week "
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My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
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Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.
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It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffeemaker.
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These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says, "For fast relief."
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Remember: You don't stop laughing because you grow old, You grow old because you stop laughing.
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THE SENILITY PRAYER : Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.
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Well now, I suppose its a case of "If the shoe fits...wear it".

Cheers, Vince

Shoes? What shoes.... do we wear shoes? Where are they hiding?
Ed

Shoes? You might wear shoes SwampFox, but I wear boots (I think I do...) when I can find them or talk the wife into getting them for me. That happens a lot...Yup...Sure does.

Too hot out here for boots or shoes....I wear "Japanese Riding Boots"...leather sandals.....WITHOUT sox.

Cheers, Vince

Vince wrote:

______________________________ Remember: You don't stop laughing because you grow old, You grow old because you stop laughing. ________________________________

Lovely.. got to tell me old man that.. kewl!!

Vince, If you wore white socks and sandals we would call you a Tourist.
Ed

Bare foot and sandals. We call them hippies....With white socks...Clean hippies...

A person wearing Sandals with white socks.......I call him dad.

And a good daughter you are I'm sure...

Fireball 3...You wear white socks and sandals? Does your daughter know you may be a left over hippy...??? A clean one I might add...:-D

My father a hippy. Now that's funny. I so needed that. His idea of long hair is if the curls curl up under his hat. Health food involves meat. Nope its just the dad trying his hardest to drive his daughter nuts. Though I did discover that it's normal. On vacation in Canada it was him and about 30 other men doing the same thing.

Truly the ones around here that wear the white tube socks, shorts, and sandals are the gang bangers.

Oh ya with that long hair Sir Bushmaster are you sure your not a hippy in hidding.

The hair goes with my black hat, sixgun and horse...