Becoming Illegal

glockman55 · Posted: Thu Jan 11, 2007 3:46 pm Post subject: Becoming Illegal

The Honorable Paul S. Sarbanes
309 Hart Senate Office Building
Washington DC, 20510

Dear Senator Sarbanes,

As a native Marylander and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.

My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to illegal alien stem from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill's provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five years. I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it out.

Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.

Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a year. Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications, as well as "in-state" tuition rates for many colleges throughout the United States for my son.

Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome car insurance premiums. This is very important to me given that I still have college age children driving my car.

If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be most appreciative. Thank you for your assistance.

Your Loyal Constituent,

Pete McGlaughlin

Who wants to try it first?

WileyWapiti · Posted: Thu Jan 11, 2007 5:12 pm Post subject: Re: Becoming Illegal

I coughed up my coffee from laughing..I love it!

1895ss · Posted: Thu Jan 11, 2007 5:14 pm Post subject: Re: Becoming Illegal

Tis sad when illegals get things for nothin'. Go for it Glock, give it a try. What have you got to loose? Laughing

fireball 3 · Posted: Sat Feb 10, 2007 2:40 pm Post subject: Re: Becoming Illegal

update for being illegal alien. you can get welfare, food stamps, and if you worked it right you could vote for all the above mentioned, HEY why not . they have been giving this stuff away for years.

Bushmaster · Posted: Sat Feb 10, 2007 3:48 pm Post subject: Re: Becoming Illegal

Yup... And if your governor, who's grasp I escaped 7 months ago, has his way you will be paying their medical...But why not...When I left we were paying for their housing, food, car insurance. Why we even let them come across the border pregnant so they could have the baby here...You go right ahead and you will have every me...Illegal alien in california (The USSR of C). It's already the finest Welfare state we have...