You Might Be a Gun Nut If...
...you ever seriously thought about dabbing on a little Hoppe's #9
before going out on a date.
...you buy some checkering tools, you checker all your gun stocks, and
then start on the bedposts.
...you cannot recall how many firearms you own.
...you buy a gun that's just like that other gun you have except the
barrel is 1/2" shorter (or longer).
...you buy a gun at a shop only to find out you used to own it a
couple of years ago.
...you know 12 different names for one caliber of cartridge.
...you ever clean a gun that hasn't been shot in the week since you
cleaned it last.
...you consider naming your unborn child Winchester or Remington.
...you purchased two Glocks and two Sigs just to see which brand was
...your drive to work is filled with reverie about why Ed's Red
...you strip all the paint off our car and refinish it with cold blue.
...you ever bought ammo in a caliber for which you have no gun,
because you thought some day you MIGHT get a gun in that caliber.
...your collection of American Rifleman back issues, Gun Digests and
reloading manuals cost you a premium the last time you moved.
...you have more than one gun that "kills on both ends."
...you buy high capacity magazines for a gun you have not bought yet.
...you take your guns out of the safe each night and handle them, just
so you can wipe them off before putting them away.
...your mother-in-law asks what new gun junk you want for Christmas
...you see TV footage of the war in Bosnia and wish you were there to
pick up the brass.
...you drive 300 miles just to ogle (and fire) HK-MP5s (and Stens,
Uzis, BMGs and whatever else shows up at Knob Creek).
...you keep a loaded gun hidden in every room in the house, including
the bathroom and kitchen, "just in case," and then keep one on you at
all times just in case someone breaks in while you're in the hallway.
...you consider it unpatriotic not to own at least one .45 and one
...you named your pocket pistol "Little Guy" and your 12 gauge "Big
...you own reloading dies for calibers that you do not shoot.
...you tape American Shooter so you can pause, reverse and fast
forward to do a complete analysis of the show.
...you understand Smith & Wesson's model numbers.
...you ever bought two brands of the same weight and type of bullet,
just to see if one "shot better."
...you keep a collection of different cartridges at your place of work
as a "conversation piece."
...you take your wife on vacation to a gun show for your 10th
Anniversary and she is as excited to go as you are.
...you ever had to explain, "It's NOT the same gun, it's a variation!"
...you and your new father-in-law go to a gun show on your wedding
...you have life memberships in more than one shooting organization.
...you read that "Brady II" would outlaw possession of more than 1,000
rounds of ammunition and think, "I have more than that rolling around
loose in the trunk of my car!"
...watching The Lion King gives you the itch for a .470 Nitro Express.
... while watching the movie Terminator 2, you have to leave the room
in tears and mournful sobs after Arnold Schwartzenneger throws the
CAR-16 off the moving tractor trailer and it goes bouncing away.
...you go to three different gun shows within a month and you're
excited every single time.
...your guns are cleaner than your residence.
...you have 5 different guns being DROS'd at 3 different FFL dealers.
...you plunked down a $130 deposit on a Seecamp after waiting two
years for them to accept your order, and are still willing to wait
another two years for them to make your pistol.
...your mom gives you a new Springfield Armory .308 sniper rifle for
...four local gun shops know you by name.
...you have your own BATF agent (mounted any suitable way).
...you're friends with 90% of the employee's at all the local gun
...you identify the gun on the cover of Dillons Blue Press before you
even notice the girl.
...when you stop in at the local gun shop, they ask you questions
like: "How was work?" "How are the wife and kids?" "We're gonna order
some food, ya want in?" etc.
...you have more gunpowder stashed in your home than your local
sporting goods store has on hand.
...you can wallpaper your house with old issues of Shotgun News, Gun
List, Guns & Ammo, etc.
...all of your children are life members of the NRA.
...your children are named "Ogive" and "Meplat."
...if you make $30 per hour at work, but spend 30 minutes on your
knees at the range looking for that last piece of .40 S&W brass.
...you have Brownells on speed dial.
...you trimmed down 100 10mm cases to form .357 Sig brass before
commercial supplies of this brass were available.