View previous topic :: View next topic |
Author |
Message |
Elvis Super Member
Joined: Jul 27, 2008 Posts: 9239 Location: south island New Zealand
|
Posted: Tue Jun 30, 2020 10:32 pm Post subject: everyones favourite Swede AGAIN |
|
Maybe a truths one......
One crisp winter morning in Sweden, a cute little girl named Greta woke up to a perfect world, one where there were no petroleum products ruining the earth. She tossed aside her cotton sheet and wool blanket and stepped out onto a dirt floor covered with willow bark that had been pulverized with rocks. “What’s this?” she asked.
“Pulverized willow bark,” replied her fairy godmother.
“What happened to the carpet?” she asked.
“The carpet was nylon, which is made from butadiene and hydrogen cyanide, both made from petroleum,” came the response.
Greta smiled, acknowledging that adjustments are necessary to save the planet, and moved to the sink to brush her teeth where instead of a toothbrush, she found a willow, mangled on one end to expose wood fibre bristles.
“Your old toothbrush?” noted her godmother, “Also nylon.”
“Where’s the water?” asked Greta.
“Down the road in the canal,” replied her godmother, ‘Just make sure you avoid water with cholera in it”
“Why’s there no running water?” Greta asked, becoming a little peevish.
“Well,” said her godmother, who happened to teach engineering at MIT, “Where do we begin?” There followed a long monologue about how sink valves need elastomer seats and how copper pipes contain copper, which has to be mined and how it’s impossible to make all-electric earth-moving equipment with no gear lubrication or tires and how ore has to be smelted to a make metal, and that’s tough to do with only electricity as a source of heat, and even if you use only electricity, the wires need insulation, which is petroleum-based, and though most of Sweden’s energy is produced in an environmentally friendly way because of hydro and nuclear, if you do a mass and energy balance around the whole system, you still need lots of petroleum products like lubricants and nylon and rubber for tires and asphalt for filling potholes and wax and iPhone plastic and elastic to hold your underwear up while operating a copper smelting furnace and . . .
“What’s for breakfast?” interjected Greta, whose head was hurting.
"Fresh, range-fed chicken eggs,” replied her godmother. “Raw.”
“How so, raw?” inquired Greta.
“Well, . . .” And once again, Greta was told about the need for petroleum products like transformer oil and scores of petroleum products essential for producing metals for frying pans and in the end was educated about how you can’t have a petroleum-free world and then cook eggs. Unless you rip your front fence up and start a fire and carefully cook your egg in an orange peel like you do in Boy Scouts. Not that you can find oranges in Sweden anymore.
“But I want poached eggs like my Aunt Tilda makes,” lamented Greta.
“Tilda died this morning,” the godmother explained. “Bacterial pneumonia.”
“What?!” interjected Greta. “No one dies of bacterial pneumonia! We have penicillin.”
“Not anymore,” explained godmother “The production of penicillin requires chemical extraction using isobutyl acetate, which, if you know your organic chemistry, is petroleum-based. Lots of people are dying, which is problematic because there’s not any easy way of disposing of the bodies since backhoes need hydraulic oil and crematoriums can’t really burn many bodies using as fuel Swedish fences and furniture, which are rapidly disappearing - being used on the black market for roasting eggs and staying warm.”
This represents only a fraction of Greta’s day, a day without microphones to exclaim into and a day without much food, and a day without carbon-fibre boats to sail in, but a day that will save the planet.
Tune in tomorrow when Greta needs a root canal and learns how Novocain is synthesized.
_________________ You shot it You pluck it !
Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers! |
|
Back to top |
|
|
Vince Site Admin
Joined: May 25, 2005 Posts: 15704 Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA
|
Posted: Tue Jun 30, 2020 11:52 pm Post subject: Re: everyones favourite Swede AGAIN |
|
_________________ Cheers, Vince
Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)
Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.
"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done) |
|
Back to top |
|
|
Bushmaster Super Member
Joined: Jun 12, 2005 Posts: 11390 Location: Ava, Missouri
|
Posted: Wed Jul 01, 2020 9:34 am Post subject: Re: everyones favourite Swede AGAIN |
|
Stupid idiot, she is.
_________________ I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...
DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote... |
|
Back to top |
|
|
Pumpkinslinger Super Member
Joined: Sep 22, 2007 Posts: 5001 Location: NC foothills
|
Posted: Wed Jul 01, 2020 11:44 am Post subject: Re: everyones favourite Swede AGAIN |
|
Love it!
_________________ Mike
"I ain't no better than anybody else, and there ain't nobody better than me!" Ma Kettle |
|
Back to top |
|
|
dhc4ever Super Member
Joined: May 26, 2011 Posts: 2944 Location: Ipswich, Queensland Australia
|
Posted: Wed Jul 01, 2020 12:15 pm Post subject: Re: everyones favourite Swede AGAIN |
|
This is only partly funny.
The rest is dry fact.
_________________ Pete
Dont do anything you wont like explaining to the paramedics.............. |
|
Back to top |
|
|
pete4d Super Member
Joined: Nov 27, 2011 Posts: 957 Location: Dixie , Alabama , & Louisiana
|
|
Back to top |
|
|
Elvis Super Member
Joined: Jul 27, 2008 Posts: 9239 Location: south island New Zealand
|
Posted: Thu Jul 02, 2020 12:56 am Post subject: Re: everyones favourite Swede AGAIN |
|
Im so pleased its given you lot a chuckle....
_________________ You shot it You pluck it !
Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers! |
|
Back to top |
|
|
Bushmaster Super Member
Joined: Jun 12, 2005 Posts: 11390 Location: Ava, Missouri
|
Posted: Thu Jul 02, 2020 7:14 am Post subject: Re: everyones favourite Swede AGAIN |
|
Chuckle? Is that what it was supposed to be?
_________________ I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...
DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote... |
|
Back to top |
|
|
PaulS Super Member
Joined: Feb 18, 2006 Posts: 4330 Location: South-Eastern Washington - the State
|
Posted: Thu Jul 02, 2020 3:35 pm Post subject: Re: everyones favourite Swede AGAIN |
|
It is funny, if Greta is the one living it.
Better living through chemistry!
_________________ Paul
__________________
Speer, Lyman, Hodgdon, Sierra, and Hornady = reliable loading data
So and So's pages on the internet = NOT reliable loading data
Always check data against manuals
NEVER exceed maximum listed loads |
|
Back to top |
|
|
Gil Martin Super Member
Joined: Jan 28, 2005 Posts: 1837 Location: Schnecksville, PA
|
Posted: Sat Jul 04, 2020 6:34 am Post subject: Re: everyones favourite Swede AGAIN |
|
I guess that is what happens when some folks look for utopia. Interesting post. All the best...
Gil
_________________ Gil |
|
Back to top |
|
|
Gil Martin Super Member
Joined: Jan 28, 2005 Posts: 1837 Location: Schnecksville, PA
|
Posted: Sat Jul 04, 2020 6:35 am Post subject: Re: everyones favourite Swede AGAIN |
|
I guess that is what happens when some folks look for utopia. Interesting post. All the best...
Gil
_________________ Gil |
|
Back to top |
|
|
dust54 Member
Joined: Mar 31, 2006 Posts: 204 Location: Gurley, AL
|
Posted: Mon Jul 13, 2020 6:19 am Post subject: Re: everyones favourite Swede AGAIN |
|
_________________ ________________________________________
NRA Life member
NRA Basic Pistol/Rifle Instructor
NRA Certified Home Firearm Safety Instructor
NRA Personal Protection in the Home Instructor
AGI Member |
|
Back to top |
|
|
Bushmaster Super Member
Joined: Jun 12, 2005 Posts: 11390 Location: Ava, Missouri
|
Posted: Mon Jul 13, 2020 8:22 am Post subject: Re: everyones favourite Swede AGAIN |
|
It's not just AOC. There are at least three others in that group ran by AOC plus others with like thinking.
Thanks dust54! You just HAD to mention AOC, didn't you! Now my morning coffee tastes bad.
_________________ I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...
DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote... |
|
Back to top |
|
|
|