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Aphorisms
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Vince
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 14916
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Wed Feb 26, 2020 4:10 pm    Post subject: Aphorisms Reply with quote

I know. You’re asking “What the heck is an aphorism?”. Well here you go: a pithy observation that contains a general truth, such as, “if it ain't broken, don't fix it.”.
It doesn’t matter which party you support you will love these aphorisms.
=================

If God wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates.
~Jay Leno~

The problem with political jokes is they get elected.
~Henry Cate, VII~

We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office
~Aesop~

If we got one-tenth of what was promised to us in these State of the Union speeches, there wouldn't be any inducement to go to heaven.
~Will Rogers~

Politicians are the same all over.? They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river.
~Nikita Khrushchev~

When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I'm beginning to believe it.
~Clarence Darrow~

Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you.
~Author unknown~

Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel.
~John Quinton~

Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other.
~Oscar Ameringer~

I offer my opponents a bargain: if they will stop telling lies about us, I will stop telling the truth about them.
~Adlai Stevenson, campaign speech, 1952~

A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country.
~ Tex Guinan~

I have come to the conclusion that politics is too serious a matter to be left to the politicians.
~Charles de Gaulle~

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.
~Doug Larson~

There ought to be one day -- just one -- when there is open season on senators.
~Will Rogers~

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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PaulS
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Feb 18, 2006
Posts: 4267
Location: South-Eastern Washington - the State

PostPosted: Wed Feb 26, 2020 7:57 pm    Post subject: Re: Aphorisms Reply with quote

for Trump: I offer my opponents a bargain: if they will stop telling lies about us, I will stop telling the truth about them.
~Adlai Stevenson, campaign speech, 1952~

for democrats: If God wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates.
~Jay Leno~

in general: There ought to be one day -- just one -- when there is open season on senators.
~Will Rogers~

_________________
Paul
__________________
Speer, Lyman, Hodgdon, Sierra, and Hornady = reliable loading data
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English Mike
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jan 08, 2007
Posts: 1714
Location: Whitehaven, Cumbria, UK

PostPosted: Thu Feb 27, 2020 8:24 am    Post subject: Re: Aphorisms Reply with quote

If you see a light at the end of a tunnel, it's an oncoming train...
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Bushmaster
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 11127
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Thu Feb 27, 2020 10:04 am    Post subject: Re: Aphorisms Reply with quote

Go get-em Mike

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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