View previous topic :: View next topic |
Author |
Message |
Vince Site Admin
Joined: May 25, 2005 Posts: 15718 Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA
|
Posted: Mon May 26, 2014 2:04 am Post subject: Fe#@ Dat |
|
...another oldie but goodie
Two Irishmen walk into a pet shopin Dingle, they walk over to the bird section and Gerry says to Paddy, 'Dat's dem.'
The owner comes over and asks if he can help them.
'Yeah, we'll take four of dem dere little budgies in dat cage up dere,' says Gerry..
The owner puts the budgies in a cardboard box.
Paddy and Gerry pay for the birds, leave the shop and get into Gerry's truck to drive to the top of the Connor Pass..
At the Connor Pass, Gerry looks down at the 1000 foot drop and says, 'Dis looks like a grand place..'
He takes two birds out of the box, puts one on each shoulder and jumps off the cliff.
Paddy watches as the budgies fly off and Gerry falls all the way to the bottom, killing himself stone dead.
Looking down at the remains of his best pal, Paddy shakes his head and says, 'Feck dat.
Dis budgie jumping is too flam'n dangerous for me!'
THERE'S MORE. ....
Moment's later; Seamus arrives up at Connor Pass.
He's been to the pet shop too and walks up to the edge of the cliff carrying another cardboard box in one hand and a shotgun in the other..
'Hi, Paddy, watch dis,' Seamus says.
He takes a parrot from the box and lets him fly free.
He then throws himself over the edge of the cliff with the gun.
Paddy watches as half way down, Seamus takes the gun and shoots the parrot.
Seamus continues to plummet down and down until he hits the bottom and breaks every bone in his body.
Paddy shakes his head and says, 'And I'm never trying dat parrotshooting either!'
IT IS NOT OVER YET....
Paddy is just getting over the shock of losing two friends when Sean appears.
He's also been to the pet shop and is carrying a cardboard box out of which he pulls a chicken.
Sean then takes the chicken by its legs and hurls himself off the cliff and disappears down and down until he hits a rock and breaks his spine.
Once more Paddy shakes his head. 'Fe#@ dat, lads. First dere was Gerry with his budgie jumping, den Seamus parrotshooting.... And now Sean and his flam'n hengliding!'
_________________ Cheers, Vince
Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)
Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.
"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done) |
|
Back to top |
|
|
Elvis Super Member
Joined: Jul 27, 2008 Posts: 9256 Location: south island New Zealand
|
Posted: Mon May 26, 2014 2:16 am Post subject: Re: Fe#@ Dat |
|
terrible ..atrocious ...rubbish ....shocking ....O.K I suppose ....not bad really ...actually it was pretty good .....great...fantastic..awesome ...bravo ...on core on core
_________________ You shot it You pluck it !
Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers! |
|
Back to top |
|
|
dhc4ever Super Member
Joined: May 26, 2011 Posts: 2944 Location: Ipswich, Queensland Australia
|
Posted: Mon May 26, 2014 3:31 am Post subject: Re: Fe#@ Dat |
|
You two have issues, serious issues........
_________________ Pete
Dont do anything you wont like explaining to the paramedics.............. |
|
Back to top |
|
|
lesterg3 Super Member
Joined: Nov 30, 2008 Posts: 1328 Location: Dixie
|
Posted: Mon May 26, 2014 3:50 am Post subject: Re: Fe#@ Dat |
|
Wow!
_________________ "A democracy is nothing more than mob rule, where fifty-one percent of the people may take away the rights of the other forty-nine. "--Thomas Jefferson
The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government. -- Thomas Jefferson
"Americans have the right and advantage of being armed - unlike the citizens of other countries whose governments are afraid to trust the people with arms."--James Madison
"The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants." Thomas Jefferson.
NRA Life Member
Vietnam War Vet 68-69 |
|
Back to top |
|
|
gelandangan Super Member
Joined: May 07, 2006 Posts: 6398 Location: Sydney Australia
|
Posted: Mon May 26, 2014 4:12 am Post subject: Re: Fe#@ Dat |
|
Vince forgot to eat his pills again..
_________________ A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.
Do - Not try!
gelandangan.weebly.com/ |
|
Back to top |
|
|
lesterg3 Super Member
Joined: Nov 30, 2008 Posts: 1328 Location: Dixie
|
Posted: Mon May 26, 2014 4:19 am Post subject: Re: Fe#@ Dat |
|
Yeah, or perhaps he's not stuffing that pipe with Borkum Riff.
_________________ "A democracy is nothing more than mob rule, where fifty-one percent of the people may take away the rights of the other forty-nine. "--Thomas Jefferson
The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government. -- Thomas Jefferson
"Americans have the right and advantage of being armed - unlike the citizens of other countries whose governments are afraid to trust the people with arms."--James Madison
"The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants." Thomas Jefferson.
NRA Life Member
Vietnam War Vet 68-69 |
|
Back to top |
|
|
Bushmaster Super Member
Joined: Jun 12, 2005 Posts: 11393 Location: Ava, Missouri
|
Posted: Mon May 26, 2014 7:15 am Post subject: Re: Fe#@ Dat |
|
Oh Brother...Gimme a break.
_________________ I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...
DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote... |
|
Back to top |
|
|
Vince Site Admin
Joined: May 25, 2005 Posts: 15718 Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA
|
Posted: Mon May 26, 2014 9:51 pm Post subject: Re: Fe#@ Dat |
|
_________________ Cheers, Vince
Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)
Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.
"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done) |
|
Back to top |
|
|
Suzanne Super Member
Joined: Jun 27, 2009 Posts: 3323 Location: Eugene, Oregon
|
Posted: Tue May 27, 2014 6:02 am Post subject: Re: Fe#@ Dat |
|
I think he's dehydrated.....fetch a beer for the poor boy
Suz
_________________ May the moon keep you centered,
May the sun keep you dancing,
And the stars shed light on your dreams. |
|
Back to top |
|
|
Ominivision1 Super Member
Joined: Sep 20, 2010 Posts: 2984 Location: Iowa
|
Posted: Tue May 27, 2014 1:45 pm Post subject: Re: Fe#@ Dat |
|
_________________ Regards
Limitations are but boundaries created inside our minds. |
|
Back to top |
|
|
|