Top Ten Complaints From Dogs
#1
Blaming your farts on me... not funny... Not funny at all!
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#2
Yelling at me for barking... I'M A DAMN DOG!
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#3
Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly whose walk is this anyway?
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#4
Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose. Stop it!
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#5
Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you're not home.
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#6
The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw.
You fooled a dog! Whoooo Hoooooooo what a proud moment for the top of the food chain!
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#7
Taking me to the vet for 'the big snip', then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back!
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#8
Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry, but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing, yet.
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#9
Dog sweaters. Hello? Haven't you noticed the fur?
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#10
How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know the truth. You're just jealous.
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Now lay off me on some of these things. We both know who's boss here!
You don't see me picking up your poop do you?
Cheers, Vince