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Vince Site Admin
Joined: May 25, 2005 Posts: 15907 Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA
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Posted: Thu Dec 22, 2011 2:03 am Post subject: A few wee giggles |
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Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married.
The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
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A jumper cable walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
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Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
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A dyslexic man walked into a bra.
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A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm, and says:
"A beer please, and one for the road."
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Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this
taste funny to you?"
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"Doc, I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home."
"That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome."
"Is it common?"
"Well, It's Not Unusual."
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An invisible man marries an invisible woman.
The kids were nothing to look at either.
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Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any.
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A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident.
He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!"
The doctor replied, "I know, I amputated your arms!"
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I went to a seafood disco last week...And pulled a mussel.
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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
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Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says, "Dam!"
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And finally, there was the person who sent twenty different puns to
his friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh.
No pun in ten did.
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Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which
produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very
little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered
from bad breath. This made him (oh, man, this is so bad, it's good)...
A super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
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Cheers, Vince
_________________ Cheers, Vince
Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)
Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.
"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done) |
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lesterg3 Super Member
Joined: Nov 30, 2008 Posts: 1328 Location: Dixie
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Posted: Thu Dec 22, 2011 2:43 am Post subject: Re: A few wee giggles |
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Thanks Vince I really needed a chuckle.
_________________ "A democracy is nothing more than mob rule, where fifty-one percent of the people may take away the rights of the other forty-nine. "--Thomas Jefferson
The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government. -- Thomas Jefferson
"Americans have the right and advantage of being armed - unlike the citizens of other countries whose governments are afraid to trust the people with arms."--James Madison
"The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants." Thomas Jefferson.
NRA Life Member
Vietnam War Vet 68-69 |
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MacD Super Member
Joined: Apr 08, 2011 Posts: 1052 Location: Canada
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Posted: Thu Dec 22, 2011 7:13 am Post subject: Re: A few wee giggles |
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Priceless
_________________ La a'Blair s'math n Cairdean
(Friends are good on the day of battle) |
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Pumpkinslinger Super Member
Joined: Sep 22, 2007 Posts: 5048 Location: NC foothills
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Posted: Thu Dec 22, 2011 7:45 am Post subject: Re: A few wee giggles |
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My favorite is "Deja Moo"! Thanks Vince!
_________________ Mike
"I ain't no better than anybody else, and there ain't nobody better than me!" Ma Kettle |
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Bushmaster Super Member
Joined: Jun 12, 2005 Posts: 11444 Location: Ava, Missouri
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Posted: Thu Dec 22, 2011 8:53 am Post subject: Re: A few wee giggles |
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"DAM"!!
_________________ I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...
DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote... |
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gelandangan Super Member
Joined: May 07, 2006 Posts: 6441 Location: Sydney Australia
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Posted: Thu Dec 22, 2011 2:56 pm Post subject: Re: A few wee giggles |
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no pun in ten did
_________________ A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.
Do - Not try!
gelandangan.weebly.com/ |
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44marty Super Member
Joined: Mar 20, 2009 Posts: 775 Location: Cheshire, MA; USA
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Posted: Thu Dec 22, 2011 4:50 pm Post subject: Re: A few wee giggles |
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GROOOAAANNNN !!!
Why, after reading the first couple, couldn't I stop myself from reading them all????
A super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
_________________ _____________________________________
The strength of the wolf is in the pack; the strength of the pack is in the wolf. ~ R. Kipling
I LOVE YOU, LADY LUCK !!! |
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Suzanne Super Member
Joined: Jun 27, 2009 Posts: 3323 Location: Eugene, Oregon
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Posted: Thu Dec 22, 2011 8:52 pm Post subject: Re: A few wee giggles |
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Same here Marty!! Freekin Henny Youngman goin on there..Thanx Vinnie!!
_________________ May the moon keep you centered,
May the sun keep you dancing,
And the stars shed light on your dreams. |
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Tremblay Super Member
Joined: Oct 08, 2007 Posts: 2688 Location: Malta, Montana
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Posted: Thu Dec 22, 2011 11:52 pm Post subject: Re: A few wee giggles |
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he-he-ha
_________________ Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it. - Mark
Twain
Never argue with a stupid person ,cause they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience. Mark Twwain |
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Vince Site Admin
Joined: May 25, 2005 Posts: 15907 Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA
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Ghost Member
Joined: Nov 20, 2011 Posts: 25 Location: European Forrest
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Posted: Fri Dec 23, 2011 6:26 am Post subject: Re: A few wee giggles |
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inthedark Super Member
Joined: Jan 31, 2011 Posts: 920 Location: Ontario
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Posted: Fri Dec 23, 2011 1:19 pm Post subject: Re: A few wee giggles |
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Whats the difference between a northern girl and a southern girl?
A northern girl will say 'you can' and a southern girl will say 'Y'all can'.
_________________ Chimo
Ron
War is sweet to those who have no experience of it, but the experienced man trembles exceedingly at heart on its approach - Pindar 518-438 BC
Be Copy now of Men of Grosser Blood and TEACH THEM HOW TO WAR |
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Ominivision1 Super Member
Joined: Sep 20, 2010 Posts: 2984 Location: Iowa
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Posted: Fri Dec 23, 2011 1:39 pm Post subject: Re: A few wee giggles |
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inthedark wrote: |
Whats the difference between a northern girl and a southern girl?
A northern girl will say 'you can' and a southern girl will say 'Y'all can'. |
_________________ Regards
Limitations are but boundaries created inside our minds. |
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Bushmaster Super Member
Joined: Jun 12, 2005 Posts: 11444 Location: Ava, Missouri
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Posted: Fri Dec 23, 2011 2:15 pm Post subject: Re: A few wee giggles |
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Busy ladies those southern gals....
_________________ I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...
DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote... |
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Tremblay Super Member
Joined: Oct 08, 2007 Posts: 2688 Location: Malta, Montana
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Posted: Fri Dec 23, 2011 6:46 pm Post subject: Re: A few wee giggles |
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More fun too !!!
_________________ Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it. - Mark
Twain
Never argue with a stupid person ,cause they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience. Mark Twwain |
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