OK...a funny one...or is it scary...not sure.

man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner.

The man took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"

"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.

"Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" the man asked.

"No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."

"Will you spend this on greens' fees at a golf course instead of food?" the man asked.

"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't played golf in 20 years!"

"Will you head for the nearest Gun Shop and spend the money on ammunition?" the man asked.

"You gotta be joking...I haven't been able to afford a gun or ammo for longer than I can remember!" replied the man.

"Will you spend the money on a woman in the red light district instead of food?" the man asked.

"What disease would I get for ten lousy bucks?" exclaimed the homeless man.

"Well," said the man, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."

The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty and I probably smell pretty disgusting."

The man replied, "That's okay. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up beer, fishing, golf, shooting and sex."

Cheers, Vince

I desperately need a beer after that one. Among other things.

Outstanding.
Makes up for your last effort..............almost.

tjparker_81 wrote:

I desperately need a beer after that one. Among other things.

Well mate...if it ain't "beer o'clock" in your part of the world, it certainly is somewhere...go for it mate.

Cheers, Vince

Thanks for the morning chuckle, Vince!

NICE Vince!! I went fishing early this morning, came home for some recoil therapy with my 300 WBY, cracked a beer and then read this. I no longer have a wife, so I might have a shot at sex tonight, too. Guess I'm doing OK.

Marty wrote:

...I no longer have a wife, so I might have a shot at sex tonight, too.

I'm not going there....I'm stayin' right away from that one. Ya left yaself wide open there Marty old mate.

Cheers, Vince