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Two Days In The Life Of A Deer Hunter
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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jeh7mmmag
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Joined: Dec 24, 2006
Posts: 223
Location: DFW, TX.

PostPosted: Mon Oct 27, 2008 10:38 am    Post subject: Two Days In The Life Of A Deer Hunter Reply with quote

Morning: 1:00 AM: Alarm clock rings. 2:00 AM: Hunting partners arrive, drag you out of bed. 2:30 AM: Throw everything except kitchen sink into pickup. 3:00 AM: Leave for deep woods. 3:15 AM: Drive back home to pick up gun. 3:30 AM: Drive like crazy to get to the woods before daylight. 4:00 AM: Set up camp. Forgot the stupid tent. 4:30 AM: Head for the woods. 6:05 AM: See eight deer. 6:06 AM: Take aim and squeeze trigger. 6:07 AM: CLICK. 6:08 AM: Load gun while watching deer go over hill. 8:00 AM: Head back to camp. 9:00 AM: Still looking for camp. 10:00 AM: Realize that you don't know where camp is.

Afternoon: Fire gun for help---eat wild berries. 2:15 PM: Run out of bullets---eight deer come back. 2:20 PM: Strange feeling in stomach. 2:30 PM: Realize that you ate poison berries. 2:45 PM: Rescued. 2:55 PM: Rushed to hospital to have stomach pumped, throw up instead. 3:15 PM: Arrive back at camp. 3:30 PM: Leave camp to kill deer. 4:00 PM: Return to camp for bullets. 4:01 PM: Load gun---leave camp again.

Evening: 5:00 PM: Empty gun on bug that is bugging you. 6:00 PM: Arrive at camp -- see deer grazing. 6:01 PM: Load gun. 6:02 PM: Fire gun. 6:03 PM: One dead pickup. 6:05 PM: Hunting partners arrive in camp dragging deer. 6:06 PM: Repress desire to shoot hunting partners. 6:07 PM: Fall into fire. 6:10 PM: Change clothing, throw burned ones in fire. 6:15 PM: Take pickup, leave hunting partners and deer in camp. 6:25 PM: Pickup boils over due to hole shot in block. 6:26 PM: Start walking. 6:30 PM: Stumble and fall, drop gun in mud. 6:35 PM: Meet bear. 6:36 PM: Take aim. 6:37 PM: Fire gun, blow up barrel that's plugged with mud. 6:38 PM: Mess pants. 6:39 PM: Climb tree. 11:00 PM: Bear leaves. Wrap gun around tree.

Midnight: Home at last. Fall on knees thanking Maker.

Next day: Watch football game on TV, slowly tearing up hunting license into small pieces, place in envelope, and mail to Game Warden. Laughing Embarassed

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rdncktink
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Joined: Mar 02, 2007
Posts: 476
Location: Hwaseong, South Korea

PostPosted: Mon Oct 27, 2008 12:06 pm    Post subject: Re: Two Days In The Life Of A Deer Hunter Reply with quote

Wow looks like someone knows how my cousin hunts. Very Happy

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d_hoffman
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Joined: Feb 13, 2007
Posts: 696
Location: Chillicothe, Ohio

PostPosted: Mon Oct 27, 2008 12:13 pm    Post subject: Re: Two Days In The Life Of A Deer Hunter Reply with quote

Sounds like the defenition of the word vegetarian Laughing ROFL

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Bushmaster
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Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 11127
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Mon Oct 27, 2008 1:09 pm    Post subject: Re: Two Days In The Life Of A Deer Hunter Reply with quote

Have you ever had one of those days...Vince...

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shrpshtrjoe
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Joined: Jan 26, 2005
Posts: 2965
Location: Maryland

PostPosted: Mon Oct 27, 2008 1:35 pm    Post subject: Re: Two Days In The Life Of A Deer Hunter Reply with quote

I hate when that happens ROFL
Joe

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gelandangan
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Joined: May 07, 2006
Posts: 6173
Location: Sydney Australia

PostPosted: Mon Oct 27, 2008 3:18 pm    Post subject: Re: Two Days In The Life Of A Deer Hunter Reply with quote

Laughing

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Dimitri
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Joined: Nov 25, 2005
Posts: 5910

PostPosted: Mon Oct 27, 2008 4:53 pm    Post subject: Re: Two Days In The Life Of A Deer Hunter Reply with quote

jeh7mmmag wrote:
2:15 PM: Run out of bullets

Whats that I don't understand. You can run out of ammunition that fast ?? Shocked I don't understand how that is possible. wtf

Dimitri

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gelandangan
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Joined: May 07, 2006
Posts: 6173
Location: Sydney Australia

PostPosted: Mon Oct 27, 2008 6:59 pm    Post subject: Re: Two Days In The Life Of A Deer Hunter Reply with quote

must have only bring a few hundred rounds.. should have brought the big brick of 5000 rounds.. then the ammo would last at least till 2.45PM

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Vince
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 14915
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Mon Oct 27, 2008 8:35 pm    Post subject: Re: Two Days In The Life Of A Deer Hunter Reply with quote

Bushmaster wrote:
Have you ever had one of those days...Vince...
Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy

Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad
Embarassed Embarassed Embarassed Embarassed Embarassed Embarassed Embarassed Embarassed

Cheers, Vince

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