Ireland declares war on France!

DallanC · Site Admin Joined: Jan 18, 2005 Posts: 3572 Location: Utah

Jacques Chirac, The French President, is sitting in his office when his telephone rings.

"Hallo, Mr. Chirac!" a heavily accented voice said. "This is Paddy Down at the Harp Pub in County Clare, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!"

"Well, Paddy," Chirac replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?"

"Right now," says Paddy, after a moment's calculation, "there is myself, me Cousin Sean, me next door neighbour Seamus, and the entire darts team from the pub. That makes eight!"

Chirac paused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100,000 men in my army waiting to move on my command."

"Begoora!" says Paddy. "I'll have to ring you back."

Sure enough, the next day, Paddy calls again. "Mr. Chirac, the war is still on. We have managed to get us some infantry equipment!"

"And what equipment would that be Paddy?" Chirac asks.

"Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm tractor."

Chirac sighs amused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 6,000 tanks and 5,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I have increased my army to 150,000 since we last spoke."

"Saints preserve us!" says Paddy. "I'll have to get back to you."

Sure enough, Paddy rings again the next day. "Mr. Chirac, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We have modified Jackie McLaughlin's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Shamrock Bar have joined us as well!"

Chirac was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100 bombers and 200 fighter p lanes. My military bases are surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I have increased my army to 200,000!"

"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!" says Paddy, "I will have to ring you back."

Sure enough, Paddy calls again the next day. "Top o' the mornin', Mr. Chirac. I am sorry to inform you that we have had to call off the war."

"Really? I am sorry to hear that," says Chirac. "Why the sudden change of heart?"

"Well," says Paddy, "we had a long chat over a few pints of Guinness, and decided there is no fookin' way we can feed 200,000 prisoners."

Dimitri · Super Member Joined: Nov 25, 2005 Posts: 5946

Dimitri

shrpshtrjoe

Nothin wrong with a little confidence Very Happy

Elvis

they would run out of frogs legs pretty quick..
gotta love the Irish.

Vince

Ah, the Irish way of looking at things...nothing like it.

Cheers, Vince

camel

Yeah but how do I go, am half Irish and half French. Very Happy

dhc4ever

camel wrote:

:-D Yeah but how do I go, am half Irish and half French. Very Happy

Give youself an uppercut? Very Happy

Vince

A whole bagful of them Camel. Laughing

Cheers, Vince

PaulS

camel wrote:

:-D Yeah but how do I go, am half Irish and half French. Very Happy

Both ways? Very Happy

I just couldn't resist Hiding

camel

JEEZ you blokes bloody play rough, first I was given a slap up the forehead the other day, now I'm ducking and dodging uppercuts from everywhere. Sad

PaulS

We do enoy a good ribbing - especially we we are the ones givin' it!
But we can take what is given too! we're either thick skinned or thick headed - but we have a good time.