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Dear Ms. Prime Minister
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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gelandangan
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 07, 2006
Posts: 6396
Location: Sydney Australia

PostPosted: Thu Jul 21, 2011 8:10 pm    Post subject: Dear Ms. Prime Minister Reply with quote

Dear Prime Minister,

Please find below our suggestion for fixing the Australian economy.

Instead of giving billions of dollars for projects that nobody needs or wants e.g. insulation bats, Solar panels, School fund to have 3 assembly halls at ten times the price for 30 students. Why not use the following plan.

You can call it the Gillard Redhead Retirement Plan:

There are about 500,000 people over 50 in the work force.

Pay them AU$ 1 million each severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:

1) They MUST retire.
Five hundred thousand job openings - unemployment fixed

2) They MUST buy a new Australian car.
Five million cars ordered - Car Industry fixed

3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage -
Housing Crisis fixed

4) They MUST send their kids to school/college/university -
Crime rate fixed

5) They MUST buy AU$100 WORTH of alcohol/tobacco a week .....
And there's your money back in duty/tax etc

It can't get any easier than that!


Also
Let's put the pensioners in jail and the criminals in a nursing home.

This way the pensioners would have access to showers, hobbies and walks.

They'd receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical treatment, wheel chairs etc and they'd receive money instead of paying it out.

They would have constant video monitoring, so they could be helped instantly, if they fell, or needed assistance.

Bedding would be washed twice a week, and all clothing would be ironed and returned to them.

A guard would check on them every 20 minutes and bring their meals and snacks to their cell..

They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose.

They would have access to a library, weight room, spiritual counselling, pool and education.

Simple clothing, shoes, slippers, PJ's and legal aid would be free, on request.

Private, secure rooms for all, with an exercise outdoor yard, with gardens.

Each senior could have a PC a TV radio and daily phone calls.

There would be a board of directors to hear complaints, and the guards would have a code of conduct that would be strictly adhered to.

The criminals would get cold food, be left all alone and unsupervised. Lights off at 8pm, and showers once a week. Live in a tiny room and pay AU$400.00 per week and have no hope of ever getting out.

Think about this (more points of contention):

COWS
Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Goondiwindi almost three years ago, right to the paddock where she slept in the feedlot at Bony Mountain?

And, they even tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 125,000 illegal immigrants wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow.

_________________
A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.

Do - Not try!


gelandangan.weebly.com/
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TRBLSHTR
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Mar 23, 2007
Posts: 1071
Location: Lower 48's-left coast(near portlandia)

PostPosted: Thu Jul 21, 2011 8:49 pm    Post subject: Re: Dear Ms. Prime Minister Reply with quote

Shocked Excellent read!!!!!!!!!Sounds just like the states-just the names have been changed.Oh and we a have a few more illegal immigrants!

_________________
"Tolerance becomes a crime when applied to evil." Thomas Mann
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cbsweeney
Member
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Joined: Jun 18, 2010
Posts: 197
Location: New York

PostPosted: Fri Jul 22, 2011 5:42 am    Post subject: Re: Dear Ms. Prime Minister Reply with quote

This is Great! I think we should try this in the US. But it wont happen because it makes sense, and would work better than the current system.

_________________
Give a man a fish, and he will eat today. Teach a man to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
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