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The soldier and the atheist
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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yorg
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Joined: Apr 19, 2011
Posts: 9
Location: North central Alberta, Canada

PostPosted: Tue Apr 19, 2011 10:23 am    Post subject: The soldier and the atheist Reply with quote

A soldier was attending some college courses between assignments. He had just completed a mission in Afghanistan. One of the courses had a professor who was an avowed atheist, and a socialist as well.

One day the professor shocked the class when he came in. He looked to the ceiling and flatly stated, "God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you exactly 15 minutes."

The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop. Ten minutes went by and the professor proclaimed, "Here I am God. I'm still waiting."

It got down to the last couple of minutes when the soldier got out of his chair, went up to the professor, and cold-cocked him knocking him off the platform. The professor was out cold. The soldier went back to his seat and sat there, silently.

The other students were shocked and stunned and sat there looking on in silence. The professor eventually came to, noticeably shaken, looked at the soldier and asked, "What the **** is the matter with you? Why did you do that?" The soldier calmly replied, "God was too busy today protecting soldiers who are protecting your right to say stupid things and act like an idiot...so, He sent me."


Lots more humour at www.dailysplit.com/
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slimjim
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Joined: May 16, 2009
Posts: 8316
Location: Fort Worth TX

PostPosted: Tue Apr 19, 2011 4:08 pm    Post subject: Re: The soldier and the atheist Reply with quote

Love, it! Thanks for joining HuntingNut. Welcome!

_________________
"To anger a conservative, lie to him. To anger a liberal, tell him the truth." - Theodore Roosevelt

"The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it." - Albert Einstein
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radar
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Joined: Oct 01, 2008
Posts: 1109
Location: North Island New Zealand

PostPosted: Tue Apr 19, 2011 5:11 pm    Post subject: Re: The soldier and the atheist Reply with quote

That was poetic justice in the first order.
Welcome to the gang, go see Vince for a stump and a beer.

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People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf.

George Orwell
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Vince
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 15762
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Tue Apr 19, 2011 9:06 pm    Post subject: Re: The soldier and the atheist Reply with quote

I'm over this way Yorg...beer is in the cooler, find a stump mate.

Yep...good words mate...and a good result at the end.

Cheers, Vince

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Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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wiersy111
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Joined: May 13, 2009
Posts: 2376
Location: Central Minnesota

PostPosted: Tue Apr 19, 2011 9:57 pm    Post subject: Re: The soldier and the atheist Reply with quote

No matter how many times i hear that joke I smile from ear to ear. That is justice at it's finest.

Welcome to the Nut

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A veteran is someone who, at one point in his life wrote a blank check made payable to "The United States of America " for an amount of "up to and including my life."

US ARMY RETIRED

The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.

Being "Over the Hill" is much better then being under it!
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Elvis
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Joined: Jul 27, 2008
Posts: 9292
Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Tue Apr 19, 2011 10:01 pm    Post subject: Re: The soldier and the atheist Reply with quote

welcome aboard. great joke keep em coming.

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Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers!
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Pumpkinslinger
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Joined: Sep 22, 2007
Posts: 5014
Location: NC foothills

PostPosted: Wed Apr 20, 2011 3:59 am    Post subject: Re: The soldier and the atheist Reply with quote

Welcome Yorg!

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Mike

"I ain't no better than anybody else, and there ain't nobody better than me!" Ma Kettle
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Bushmaster
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Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 11404
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Wed Apr 20, 2011 7:09 am    Post subject: Re: The soldier and the atheist Reply with quote

Hummmm. I wonder...But welcome anyway...

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I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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Ominivision1
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Joined: Sep 20, 2010
Posts: 2984
Location: Iowa

PostPosted: Wed Apr 20, 2011 7:42 am    Post subject: Re: The soldier and the atheist Reply with quote

Bushmaster wrote:
Hummmm. I wonder...But welcome anyway...

Bushy, are we being overly cautious? Welcome aboard Yorg.

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Limitations are but boundaries created inside our minds.
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Bushmaster
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Joined: Jun 12, 2005
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Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Wed Apr 20, 2011 8:35 am    Post subject: Re: The soldier and the atheist Reply with quote

Just a bit, but what the hell. Throw caution to the wind... Very Happy

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I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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shrpshtrjoe
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Joined: Jan 26, 2005
Posts: 2965
Location: Maryland

PostPosted: Wed Apr 20, 2011 1:55 pm    Post subject: Re: The soldier and the atheist Reply with quote

Bushmaster wrote:
Hummmm. I wonder...But welcome anyway...

I Agree Bushy Hiding

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"MOLON LABE"

P E T A
People Eating Tasty Animals
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Bushmaster
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Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 11404
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Wed Apr 20, 2011 2:33 pm    Post subject: Re: The soldier and the atheist Reply with quote

Hey yorg...Talk to us. Prove me wrong.

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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Ominivision1
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Joined: Sep 20, 2010
Posts: 2984
Location: Iowa

PostPosted: Wed Apr 20, 2011 2:39 pm    Post subject: Re: The soldier and the atheist Reply with quote

Bushmaster wrote:
Hey yorg...Talk to us. Prove me wrong.

You may be right Bushy, but Dallan can tell by looking at the server logs.

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Regards

Limitations are but boundaries created inside our minds.
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yorg
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Joined: Apr 19, 2011
Posts: 9
Location: North central Alberta, Canada

PostPosted: Sun Apr 24, 2011 7:59 pm    Post subject: Re: The soldier and the atheist Reply with quote

Well, hey there. I don't understand the comments, just like to shoot things, handload, make jerky and wine, hang with the old lady. Best to all, we all need the humour!

Georges
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Ominivision1
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Joined: Sep 20, 2010
Posts: 2984
Location: Iowa

PostPosted: Sun Apr 24, 2011 9:03 pm    Post subject: Re: The soldier and the atheist Reply with quote

yorg wrote:
Well, hey there. I don't understand the comments, just like to shoot things, handload, make jerky and wine, hang with the old lady. Best to all, we all need the humour!

Georges

Welcome aboard again Yorg, we were being cautious as their has been a lot of bots (automated programs) that have been on this site lately. These bots then create an account and usually introduce themselves once and also leave a link to another web site. Grab another refill of the wine your drinking and pull up a stump, gather around the fire and enjoy.

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Limitations are but boundaries created inside our minds.
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